LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Journal / Portfolio Sample Submission 2005
Jamie Garcia
Introduction:
When I first signed up to take Creative Writing I was very anxious and excited about the class, but then, the first day rolled around and I received the syllabus. I was drawn back; wondering if I was getting in over my head. I mean, poetry, fiction, drama-I’m just an amateur! I was thinking, “Could I really keep up with these literature majors?” As you can see, I toughed it out and I’m glad I did. It was a lot of fun and a great experience. Probably too much fun because it made me miss the days I was in journalism and re-think why I went the Finance route, but it didn’t take me too long to remember—the money!
The poetry part was really hard for me. I don’t know how to think like great poets and use phrases as they do. I’m more simple. Even reading the Monet book didn’t help me much, I needed, and still do, some serious poetry classes on ‘How to learn to Write Poetry.’ Do those even exist? I’m sure they don’t because I believe poetry is something someone is just born with, and classes only help those people critique and perfect their work. I noticed there were a lot of other people like me as well, and knowing that they were in class with me was one of the reasons why I stayed. I looked over Kelly Williams’s portfolio from the following year and found it interesting because she was in the same boat when she took the course.
Kelly also mentioned how at first it was hard for her to share her work with everyone else, not knowing what kind of criticism she would get. I felt this way too, but just because I’m not use to sharing my writing, especially poetry. It was really hard, even though I only had to do a draft exchange. When I signed up for the class I thought it would be like high school: you only give your work to the teacher. To me though, sharing was the best part of the class. You got to listen to other’s writings and enjoy them, especially the drama section.
I was real excited about the fiction, but then when I started to try to write something, it was much tougher than I thought. I went a different angle in my writing that I’d never done before, so it was challenging, yet rewarding.
The drama part was fun. It took my many story lines before I chose which one I would use. It was just fun to remember things that occurred during your life in school. I took the drama piece that I could run with more and that, I thought, would be the most interesting and funny story line.
Overall, I enjoyed the class very much and will actually miss the people in the class and yes, even you Dr. White. I guess I can relate with the type of people who were in the class. In case you didn’t know, Business people have way different personalities. They seem to run around all the time like a chicken with their head’s cut off. There is so much stress, which I understand, but I try not to let it get the best of me. I’m not saying Literature is easy, because it’s not, but most of the Business teacher’s seem like they don’t care as much to how we are doing in their class, yet alone teach us much. I really appreciated how much you were involved Dr. White. I can honestly say that I will walk out having learned a lot in this class, and actually enjoyed it.
Draft Exchange &
Online Student:
I did my draft exchange on my poetry piece with Mary Kay and Audra. I enjoyed it because I didn’t want everyone reading or hearing my poetry; it was hard enough just to share it with these two. Since they are both woman and been married they could relate to my poem and thought it was sweet. They gave my a few suggestions but I still felt a little stumped. It all worked out in the end though. Using email was also helpful when I was the respondent and the reader because it allowed me to send and receive work easily.
Here is what Mary Kay said:
This poem was very direct and to the point. It had wording which allowed me to picture in my head about attending weddings of friends and family. I really loved how you made the change of being single to now becoming another person. You documented in a very gentle way how you went from having your own identity to now sharing the identity of another half to the whole. I so can relate completely to no longer being Daddy’s little girl. I enjoyed how you detailed about the wedding dress being as fluffy as a princess’s dress. There are a lot of women who can relate to your explanation. It really sounded as if this was the ultimate wedding we all plan for ourselves since childhood.
There are just a few questions I have about the rhythm. Did you mean for lines 8 and 10 to be shorter than lines 2-4-6? And was the rhyme like a slant rhyme? I just feel there could have been a little more about the feelings you were going through on this very special day. I felt as if you wanted to say something else after daddy’s girl, but you in a way cut it off. Is this true or not?
I feel all in all this was a very nice poem expressing some of the thoughts and feelings going through your mind on your glorious day. Job well done.
Here is what Audra said:
I like your poem.
I was only married 2 ½ years ago, so I can relate. The third stanza is nice
with the alliteration of hear and heart. Also I think it evokes the most
feeling, but at the line “No longer Daddy’s girl” the feeling is broken. I
think it is just a bit awkward. The feeling is evoked right after that with the
thought of kissing. And a new life. I’ll try to think of some other way to
state the line I mentioned above. But overall I think the poem is great.
It was very hard for me to come up with a poem idea. I had papers with a lot of different thoughts and scratch-outs on them. This is the only one that stuck out to me, since I had recently got married. My husband especially wanted me to write about our wedding day, everything else he didn’t like-I think he was just being biased. Even though I dreaded poetry I’m glad we all had to write one. I was able to overcome my fear and share my writing with others.
When reading the Monet book I learned a lot of aspects about poetry-things I would never have thought about. There are so many different terms and writing styles, I was surprised to know that there was logic behind it. I just pictured people writing great poetry as it flowed from there thoughts, not trying to have a certain style or technique. I wish I could write poetry like one of your former students, Jennifer Davis. I enjoyed reading her poems; she had a style I could follow and make sense out of, but she mentioned poetry is her drive. When the poetry section was over, I sure was happing because I could start writing a piece that I was interested in-fiction.
I really enjoyed writing the fiction piece because I explored a different subject. I have always enjoyed writing children stories, I guess that’s just how my mind thinks. I realized after the visit with Christina Hergenrauder (sorry for any misspelling) that most stories are romance, so I wanted to do something edgy. I can’t really tell you where my idea came from other than sitting in your class after she left and getting some ideas. I brainstormed them out and took the story several different ways: her cheating, him cheating, telling one another that they cheated…and decided that one was my best route. I just started writing and let the thoughts flow to my head and then onto the computer. It wasn’t easy though. I crossed humps to get to where the piece is now, and I’m not sure if I’m truly satisfied yet. The class’s comments really helped me with some lines I really had problems with.
I was really surprised after fiction was over that I was the only one who wrote a romance story; one that explored sexual content with body descriptions. I was pleased when I got such positive feedback. I was really nervous sense it was my first time to write that kind of content and I had to read it to the entire class. I wasn’t really sure how the ending was going to work, but after a suggestion by Andrea that a gun ‘doesn’t go off, but a sound is heard’ and by Lindsay to remove the word suicide, it seemed to flow smoothly.
I really learned a lot about writing fiction. The Three Genres book really helped. Monet listed several ways to get story lines and ways to change the setting and characters if it’s a personal life experience. Even though he did state that suicide doesn’t go well in fiction, I wanted to make it work, and I think I did after removing the word suicide.
I truly had fun writing the drama piece, I don’t know why it’s left out of so many creative writing classes. I had thought of so many ideas to write about which was weird because the setting was only in a classroom. I wrote Lead Poison off a true experience: there was a really annoying guy who sat in front of me and we would always argue. One day I just was so fed up with him, which I can’t remember what the last straw was, that I stabbed my pencil in his back. The pencil lead did break off in his back and the teacher didn’t even punish me. I specifically remember, not in such word though, saying he deserved it. It’s pretty bad when your teacher doesn’t even like you. I can say today though, that I can’t believe how mean I was and that I am truly sorry about what I did, but it did lead to a funny drama scene.
I was a little skeptical about Daniel having to read his part and the reactions of the other students; little did I know I would have such an effect on you too, Dr. White. Since I knew Daniel was a youth minister I decided to change the character’s original attitude to one that would fit Daniel’s. It is only meant for exaggerated entertainment and since they do it on TV all the time, I thought I could do it in drama. Since we didn’t read anything in the book about that area, I wasn’t sure how touchy it would be.
I understand that some people may not have approved of my script or enjoyed it, but I did. I thought it was hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing when writing it. I hope that you could see the humor in it as well. The class, not knowing what to say could only give me a few sentence structure errors. I don’t know if I didn’t get a lot of feedback because people were so drawn back about the subject matter or that there just wasn’t much touch-up to do. Here are a few changes that I made off of feedback:
Original:
Bonnie: Sure you will. That’s not what good Christians do.
Daniel: That’s the old me. He talked to me in my dream and said I wasn’t a child of His, so don’t push me!
Bonnie: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m scared.
Revised:
Bonnie: Sure you will. That’s not what good Christians do.
Daniel: That’s the old me. He talked to me in my dream and said that all these years my parents calling me an accident was true, so don’t push me!
Bonnie: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m scared.
Original:
Theme Sentence: Not everyone will like you, nor will everyone be punished for the way they treat people or the actions they take.
Revised:
Theme Sentence: Not everyone will get along and sometimes we are not punished for the way we treat people or the actions we take.
Out of the whole class, the drama was the most fun because there was so much humor in everyone’s drama scripts and we got to act the parts out. I hope classes beyond ours get to look back at our work and enjoy it as well.
Final Version:
Lead
Poison
Characters
Bonnie
Devon
Sherry
Jennifer
Dr. White
Daniel
Andrea
Concept Sentence: A young girl tries her best to keep calm, but tension builds up too much for her to handle.
[This is set in a Junior High classroom.]
Bonnie: (talking to Devon) I hate assigned seating. I can’t wait until I go to college so I can sit anywhere I want. My sister says if she doesn’t go to class that she doesn’t get in trouble, they don’t even take attendance! She even walks in late all the time.
Devon: Wow, that’s awesome! Well, at least we still get to sit next to each other.
Bonnie: Yeah, that’s cool, but I hate this guy Daniel who sits in front of me.
Devon: Duh! The whole class does. I don’t think Dr. White likes him either.
Bonnie: Oh, I know. Every time Daniel opens his stupid mouth I see Dr. White roll his eyes.
Sherry: (trying to join the conversation) I don’t like him either. He’s annoying.
Bonnie: (to Sherry) Who asked you loser?
Devon: Yeah, go get your own friends. (to Bonnie) I hate when nerds try to talk to us, we are so more popular than her.
Bonnie: Duh!
[Bonnie and Devon continue to talk amongst themselves.]
Jennifer: Are you okay Sherry? I don’t even know why you bother with them.
Sherry: I just want to be cool, that’s all.
[Dr. White walks in class and the tardy bell rings, Daniel walks in right after.]
Dr. White: So Daniel, I see you’re late again. What’s your excuse this time?
Daniel: I’m sorry sir, but I was talking to God.
Dr. White: And what will it be tomorrow, you had lunch with him?
Daniel: That, that’s not what I meant.
Dr. White: Just be quiet Daniel. Now you know the routine, you have one week to serve your detention, in the morning or after school. Let’s get back to class. (starts taking attendance) Devon
Devon: Like, here.
Dr. White: Sherry
Sherry: Present
Devon: (to Sherry) Gosh, you’re such a dork, (in a joking, mocking voice) Present.
Dr. White: Bonnie
Bonnie: What?
Dr. White: Daniel
Daniel: Jesus!
Dr. White: No Daniel, that was me. I’m taking roll. (continues to call attendance for the rest of the students)
Bonnie: (to Daniel) I wish it was Jesus to take you away so I wouldn’t have to sit behind of your big head anymore.
Daniel: (to Bonnie) You know, you shouldn’t talk like that or you’ll go to hell.
Bonnie: Whatever, loser. (hits Daniel upside the head)
Daniel: Ouch!!
Dr. White: What’s the matter Daniel?
Daniel: (in a whiney voice) Bonnie hit me upside the head.
Dr. White: Bonnie, is that true?
Bonnie: No
Dr. White: (to Daniel) What did I tell you about lying? Do I need to tell you this everyday? You lie about being tardy and you always make up stories how Bonnie is so mean to you. I don’t want to hear another word from you. (calls the last name of the attendance sheet) Jennifer
Jennifer: Here
Dr. White: Now take out your books and open to page 180.
[Daniel raises his hand.]
Dr. White: Yes, Daniel.
Daniel: I don’t have my book.
Dr. White: Oh well, you probably won’t understand anyways. Just put your head down and take a nap.
[Daniel lays his head down and goes to sleep. Daniel starts to dream as Dr. White lectures.]
Daniel: (in his dream) Jesus, is that you?
Dr. White: No, it’s Dr. White, but you can call me Jesus.
Daniel: Wow, so it is you! Can you tell me why no one likes me?
Dr. White: Because you’re annoying Daniel. You can’t seem to get things together and that voice of yours is so irritating. In fact, you weren’t even supposed to survive after being born. I just accidentally gave you a heart that beats.
Daniel: (wakes up and rapidly sits up and screams) Noooo!
Bonnie: (to Daniel) What’s wrong with you stupid?
Daniel: That’s it, I’ve had enough of you!
Dr. White: Daniel, you stop picking fights with Bonnie.
Bonnie: (to Daniel) What are you gonna do, read me some bible phrases?
Daniel: No, I’m going to smack you right in the mouth.
Bonnie: Sure you will. That’s not what good Christians do.
Daniel: That’s the old me. He talked to me in my dream and said that all these years my parents calling me an accident was true, so don’t push me!
Bonnie: (sarcastically) Oh, I’m scared.
Dr. White: Daniel, just turn around and behave.
[Bonnie, still sick and tired of Daniel, grabs her pencil and stabs Daniel in the back with it as hard as she can.]
Daniel: (screams) Ouch! Whatcha do that for?
Bonnie: (laughing) Because I hate you and I knew you wouldn’t hit me.
Dr. White: Daniel, come up here so I can see what happened.
[Daniel walks up to the teacher’s podium.]
Dr. White: (looking at Daniel’s back) Well, Daniel, it looks like I’ll have to call for a nurse. You have the entire pencil lead stuck in your back.
Daniel: (eyes starting to water) Will I need stitches?
Dr. White: That shouldn’t be your biggest concern, you may have lead poison.
[Dr. White walks over to the school phone and tell the nurse he needs her assistance.]
Devon: (to Bonnie) That was so cool.
Bonnie: Yeah I know. And it made me feel better too.
[The nurse walks in the room.]
Andrea: Hi Daniel. Turn around and let me see what it looks like. (Daniel turns around) Oh no, that pencil tip is in there deep. I’m most certain that you have lead poison. Let’s walk down to my office so I can remove it.
[Nurse Angela and Daniel walk out the door.]
Dr. White: Bonnie, will you step out the classroom so I can talk to you?
[Bonnie and Dr. White get up and walk out the door into the hallway.]
Bonnie: Yes?
Dr. White: You know I should be giving you detention, but I’m not going to. I think he deserved it, but you can’t let anyone know.
Bonnie: Thanks, I won’t.
[They walk back in the classroom. Right after Bonnie sits down, the dismissal bell rings and the students get up and leave.]
Devon: (to Bonnie) So what happened? What he say? Are you in trouble?
Bonnie: Well, he did tell me not to say anything, but….(happily) I’m not in trouble. He thought Daniel deserved it.
Devon: See, I told you Dr. White didn’t like him.
Theme Sentence: Not everyone will get along and sometimes we are not punished for the way we treat people or the actions we take.
Summary:
I am so glad I took this class as an elective. It was a great experience and I had a lot of fun-I actually didn’t mind going to class for three hours. I think the Monet readings are a great asset to this class because they can help guide you down the right path. From the first day of class until now, I have developed knowledge that if I wanted to pursue writing more pieces that I would have a better understanding of the writing world.
I think my strongest genre would be either drama or fiction. To me they are equally the same except one is more dialogue and the other is narrative. One thing about drama is it can be more fun and can explore more options because you can actually act out the parts and lead your characters to develop the way you want them to. There is also a lot more leeway in drama because you are writing dialect, which I like. I can write how I want my character to speak and not worry about trying to develop their characters through hints in narrative-drama is just straight forward. Fiction on the other hand requires more creative thinking. I like to write fiction, but I can’t pace a story out to be 100’s of pages, maybe that’s because I don’t really care to read long books. I’m more impatient-I want to know what’s happening right then and there and not have to wait days to find the conclusion.
I have learned a lot about creative writing throughout the course, but I don’t think it will help my make financial decisions and develop financial statements. As recalled previously, I am a Finance major. I don’t see literature playing a part in my career, but I can always enjoy it as hobby. I will take a lot away from this course personally; I was able to do something that I enjoyed again, even if it was only for a semester.