LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Fiction Submission 2005

Jamie Garcia

The Call Goodbye

Her long slim body stands in the shower where perspiration drips down slowly, following each curve.  She’s in a place of warmth, steam, and wetness.  The shower door opens silently where her husband, Brad, caresses her shoulders with his masculine hands, working them down her sensual body.  To his dismay, she gives him a look he has never seen before and ponders as to what the problem may be. 

He tries to talk to her but she only shuns him away.  What else can he do?  He can’t force her to talk, so he steps out of the shower and gives her some space.  Before his wife can dry off, Brad is already out the door for work.  She decides not to call him like she normally would to work out their problems, but instead leaves him worried, scared, and miserable.  She walks in the kitchen to prepare her two kid’s lunch sacks, as she always did, and then off to make all the beds.  The school bus arrives and she kisses her children goodbye.  Her day can finally begin.

Usually she would go to the office and work on ideas for her clients, being an interior decorator requires a lot of time and creation, but today she’s going to meet with a former client, Enrique.  Her office thinks it’s a business meeting, but only she knows it’s personal.  She remembers the times when she would meet with him to discuss his ideas for his house and the feelings she would have when she looked at him.  Her veins would thrive for his touch and she made sure Enrique knew.  It started out as lunch but lead to more like she had hoped.  This will be their second day of affair.  Although she knew she hurt her husband’s feelings that morning, once she focused her eyes on Enrique’s long muscular torso and arms of steel, Brad was forgotten.  Enrique threw her on the bed and ripped her shirt off, you could hear the buttons pop off one by one, and began kissing her aggressively.  He worked his way down and used his teeth to take off her red laced panties.  Her moans got louder and a feeling went through her body that was almost unbearable.  Was it the excitement of someone new or was it that Enrique knew how to please her?  She herself didn’t know the answer, only that it was exhilarating because she had never done anything so wild in her life.

After hours of hot meaningless sex, Enrique throws her out of the motel and tells her he’s done with her.  In shock, she heads to the front desk to use the phone to call for a cab.  The receptionist immediately gets up out of her chair and tells her,

“Can’t you read the sign?  ‘No Whores Allowed!’”

            “But…” she began to say in a hurt and explanatory voice.

“I don’t care to hear anything that comes out of a million man dick hole.  Just get    on with your filthy self and never come back!” the receptionist angrily yelled.

She felt so deceived because Enrique was only using her.  She didn’t have any intentions with him, but she wanted to be the one to end their affair. 

Scared, not knowing what to do, she decides to walk down the road until she finds a payphone.  She walks wearing her torn shirt, just barely held up by her boney shoulder.  With no panties on, every time the wind blows her skirt is flown open and you can see nothing but bare skin.  Since she was wearing sexy stilettos, she walks barefoot holding her shoes.  After thirty minutes of having car horns honk at her and guys asking her how much for a blowjob, she finally reaches a gas station, True Love.  She had never paid attention to the strange name up until now.  As she waited for the cab to arrive she started thinking about the name of the gas station and realized what she had back home with Brad was all she ever needed.  She began to feel devastated and sick at her stomach for the mistake she made.

The cab arrives and she gets in.  As she sits in the back on her way home, she starts to think to herself, ‘Do I tell Brad what has been happening or do I try to cover it up and live with the guilt?’

She knew the answer to her question when she walked through her front wooden double-doors, and saw her two children running up to her with smiles from ear-to-ear and such joy out of their mouths that she was home.  She had to lie; she couldn’t hurt her children’s lives because of her idiotic mistake.  Brad walks around the corner and sees his wife. 

            He gasp, “What happened?  Are you okay?”

She tells him a story about walking down the alley on her lunch break at work and three guys snuck up on her, telling Brad they threw her on the hard-concrete ground, ripped her clothes off, and each raped her.  Brad didn’t look too convinced because she didn’t have any marks as if she was forced or any injuries from the fall to the ground, but he decides to take her word; he is a loving husband and she has never lied to him before.  She never wants to talk about that day again, and she never will.

As the days went by they turned into weeks and the pain of the guilt only grew on her.  Each day she looked at her husband and could only think about the last time with Enrique and how she was perceived as a whore.  She had no one to talk to and didn’t know how to ease her mind.  One Saturday, when Brad and the kids were out fishing, she went and bought herself a gift.  She hid it in the closet in a gift-wrapped box, waiting for the right time to open it. 

Three years passed by and the box still laid in the closet, until her husband came to her and asked,

“Some man called here looking for you, said his name was Enrique, do you know   him?”

“No,” she hesitantly replied, “Maybe it was someone I did some work for once.”

She couldn’t believe he would have the nerve to call her house.  She was still trying to cope with the pain he caused her and the guilt she had with her husband.

Brad left the room and went about his business, while she walked into the bedroom closet to finally open her gift.  A loud noise was heard and her husband ran into the room.  She laid there on the floor soaked in her own blood.  Brad will never know why she did it, nor could he ever explain it to their two kids.  He did remember though, as he always did, that day three years ago when his wife came home a mess, and now, a strange phone call from a man looking for his wife.

Fiction Revision Account

I really enjoyed writing this fiction piece because I explored a different subject.  I have always enjoyed writing children stories, I guess that’s just how my mind thinks.  I realized after the visit with Christina Hergenrauder (sorry for any misspelling) that most stories are romance, so I wanted to do something edgy.  I can’t really tell you where my idea came from other than sitting in your calls after she left and getting some ideas.  I brainstormed them out and took the story several different ways: her cheating, him cheating, telling one another that they cheated…and decided this was my best route.  I just started writing and let the thoughts flow to my head and then onto the computer.  It wasn’t easy though, except for the first paragraph.  I appreciated all the comments and helpful feedback about my fiction and I think I have done the class proud with their suggestions; I like it better myself.  Since I am getting a finance degree, I never realized how much I enjoyed sitting through creative writing classes.  My mom has always said she’s surprised I’m not in a field of writing such as journalism for the papers, but I felt I couldn’t have a lifestyle I craved.  Who knows, maybe I’ll see you in a class later on Dr. White because writing is a passion for me.  Even though it probably shouldn’t be true, I’ll remember this class and writing this fiction more than I’ll remember the proper way to invest other people’s money.