LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Journal / Portfolio Sample Submission 2003
Reani King
Creative
Writing Journal
Introduction
I enrolled for Creative Writing for a couple of reasons. The first is that it fit into my schedule this semester and second because my family tells me I should write a book after I graduate. My experience in writing is limited to a few poems that I have entered in different contests since high school and helping my kids with their poem and short story writing for school.
In the last five years, since returning to college, I have written mostly analytical papers for my classes. I think I do pretty well at writing these types of papers; however, there is really no creativity involved. I tell my kids that my imaginative powers dwindled with each one of their births. They, in return, tell me I have enough material from just being their mother to write a Comedy. If not a Comedy, then at least something that has some comedy in it.
As for poetry, I feel it is easier to write than fiction or drama because I can put so much information into a very small space. I don’t have a lot of extra time to sit and think about writing anything longer because of the workload of school. I have taken poetry in almost every Literature class I have taken. I took a poetry workshop and found it very insightful. I also wrote a few poems during that class.
I was hoping this class would give me a few pointers on how to manage my writing time. Since the first presentation and discussion in class I have already picked up a few tips on how to get more organized, especially the idea of keeping up a journal. I also like the idea of peer editing. I hope it will give me more ideas on how to structure my poetry, as well as my fiction.
Other than taking Tragedy, as a genres class, I have never even thought about writing a piece of drama. I feel very apprehensive about that particular part of this class. I am very self-conscious and feel that I will never be able to pull off a drama presentation, especially not anything that will stand up to any of the pieces I have studied. Hopefully, with the help of several members of the class I will succeed in my futile attempt to create a dramatic scene good enough for the rest of the class. As with the poetry sections of the genres textbook, I hope to gain some useful insights into writing Drama.
Overall, I hope to gain several different perspectives on writing Fiction and Drama, because I feel pretty confident in poetry. I also hope that with guidance I will be better able to express myself in a more complete and confident way.
Poetry
Freedom
Ingredients: appointment (no name doctor), Valium, $350.00, vacuum.
Optional: GUILT
Arrive 15 minutes before scheduled time. (Fill out paperwork; pay in advance)
Take the Valium; just relax. 20 minutes. Wait with the others looking from freedom.
Sit in the comfortable chair.
Hear the soft whir of the vacuum as it sucks the life out of you.
It's all done.
Freedom at last.
I did not change the last line of this poem because I felt that it reflected the title. It was a poem written for nay one who thought about or had had an abortion. I did not want to put that particular word in it because I wanted it to be subtle. The next poem “Race”, which I wrote for my husband, was also my attempt to show how a racecar is metaphorically similar to a cat. After writing the poem I became aware of the fact that not everyone knows the lingo for racing.
Race
Her
shiny, sleek, black coat.
The
rumble from her heart,
The
Christmas tree on her brain,
Ready
for the race to start,
Hoping
she won't break apart.
Purring
with anticipation,
Awaiting
the final celebration.
As
the light turns green
Pray
the tires stick.
Watch
the gauges, it's like a dream.
Some
feel sick.
Just
shift quick.
Win
the quarter mile.
Go
home with a smile.
Boy
A
small little boy
Autumn
sunlight spies him there-
Rocking
in the chair.
When I wrote this poem, my
son was my inspiration. I got several good comments. However, the one thing that
was wrong with the poem was “small little” in the first line. Following is
the revision:
Boy
A
bright little boy
Autumn
sunlight spies him there-
Rocking
in the chair.
Progression of “The First Carving”
I was assigned to write a shape poem in my Genres class. After some thought, I came up with the idea of carving a jack o’lantern. I have watched my children each carve their first and the memories brought forth a poem.
My first step was to write a poem that was
light and fun. I simply took different memories and put them into one short,
simple form. After the words were done, I played around with them until they fit
into a pumpkin shape, complete with stem. I even left spaces for the eyes.
Octo
ber
31st
Halloween
is not com
plete without one. Plump and
round wi th dark empty
eyes;
be sure to pick
a bigger one.
Will it be happy or will it be mad; you
want it to grimace or grin? Don’t wor-
ry baby, it’s your first try. This one is
perfect; careful baby, both hands
you are almost there. Oops, Oh
well, we will have to try
again next year.
After I completed the assignment, it just sat it in my notebook. When I got the poetry assignment for Creative Writing I thought there would be no better time to try and get some feed back on it. I was pleased with the feedback I did get.
I started thinking of ways I could change the
things that were pointed out to me, especially the last line. It was a bad
ending for the type of light-hearted poem I was trying to write.
Octo
ber
31st
Halloween is not com-
plete without one. Plump and
round with big, dark, empty eyes;
be sure to pick
a bigger one.
Will it be happy or will it be mad; you
want it to grimace or grin? Don’t wor-
ry baby, it’s your first try. This one is
perfect; careful baby, both hands
you are almost there. Light it
up for an eery
Hallo-
ween cheer.
I removed the space in “with”, in line three so that the spaces did not look so odd. I also changed the last line so that hopefully it will complete the light-heartedness I am trying to carry throughout the poem. I think I do like the revised version better.
Fiction
LINK TO FICTION SUBMISSION: “Cardinal Morning”
Fiction Progression and
Summary
In writing fiction, I found that it came very easy for me. My head is full of stories. When I first learned about the assignment and its requirements I felt anxious, but when I sat down to write, the anxiety melted away.
I wrote the first draft of my fiction in about thirty minutes. I sent it to several fellow students and received promising feedback, with typographical and grammatical errors. I revised the story and felt pretty comfortable with it, until it came time to read it to the class.
After presenting my little piece of fiction and got through it, most every one liked it and I got some really good suggestions for revision. Dawn, being a bird person gave me some tips about using the Cardinal in my story. She thought the way it was written that it seemed as though the Cardinal was migrating; however, Cardinals don’t migrate.
Because I wrote my story using “he” and “she”, Enrique felt there should be a little more clarification between the two male characters in the story, as well as the female characters, the girl and the mother. I also did some work on the verb tenses in order to separate the beginning and end from the flashback, which made up the majority of the story. As an overall assignment, I had a great deal of fun with fiction and I hope to continue to write Fiction in the future
Following is an excerpt from the original fiction piece:
Cardinal Morning
As she sat on her back porch, watching the brilliant, red Cardinal pecking at the seed, she felt at peace. With the children at school, she was enjoying the unusual crispness of the morning. The leaves had begun their journey from the lush green of summer to the oranges and reds of autumn. A light breeze was blowing; rustling the leaves ever so slightly, and the sun covered her with its warm light. That time belonged to her and the Cardinal.
In the quietness of the morning, surrounded by the comfort and security of her home and loved ones, she let her mind drift on the breeze. She returned to a time when her life was not so comforting and secure.
Her mind drifts back to a night not unlike so many others. She had left him drinking with his friends. She had fed and bathed the children and put them to bed. She waited three hours then cleaned the kitchen and retired for the night; knowing he would eventually find his way home.
Some time in the wee hours of the
morning she was jolted awake by the shrill screams of the fire detector. As she
ran to her children’s room and gathered them up, she was consumed by smoke
that had filled the second floor of the town-home. She race down stairs, never
checking to see where the smoke was coming from; trying not to frighten the
children too much. It seemed to her that there was no smoke on the first floor,
but she smelled something burning in the kitchen. Realizing there was no fire
she set the children on the couch so she could investigate the horrid smell
coming from her kitchen.
Page 4
“Daddy fell asleep with something in the oven,” she replied. She always tried to shelter them from the truth thinking they were too young to process it and she did not want them to think badly of their father.
As always, worried about her father she asked, “Is daddy okay?”
“Yes,” she answered, “But let’s let him sleep a little while longer.”
“Make Daddy breakfast, mommy?”
“Yes, let’s go down and make us all some breakfast,” she replied.
She took the children down stairs, turned on cartoons, and made breakfast, trying to keep a smile on her face. She knew she should leave, but at that time she thought it would get better.
She found herself back in the present, on her back porch, but her mind was still a million miles away. She pondered the questions again just as she had so many times before, “Why did she stay with him so long?” “Was there really anything more she could have done to help him change his habits?” She thought probably not. Besides, the past is the past.
Her husband, gently touching her brow, brought her back from the prison of her thoughts. As she said goodbye to the man she loved she looked again at the Cardinal (he was still there, probably saying goodbye to the summer). She felt somehow connected to the last Cardinal of the season, and as her temporary morning companion took flight, she felt as though she, too, was weightless and free. She knew she had finally achieved the happiness she had deserved and longed for.
Although Dawn suggested using a different bird in my story, I was determined to leave it in. I changed the context of the thoughts of the main character and was in deed able to keep the brilliant red bird.
Drama Section
Writing Drama was very difficult for me. I had no idea what I was going to do or how I should go about doing it. I have read plays in the past, and knew I had no chance of writing anything that would compare. After reading the Drama pieces on the website it seemed a little clearer, but what to write on given that it had to be written in the classroom setting, using the names of people in the class. I thought long and hard on the subject then an idea came to me. “I will write on writing a Drama for Creative Writing.” The first step of writing the Drama, after deciding on a topic is getting the concept and theme sentences worded in such a way as to be precise in the message I was trying to create. The next step was coming up with the characters and of course what they would say.
I presented on the first day of the Drama presentations so I didn’t really have anything to go by except the Dramas presented on the website. Boy, was I nervous. I got through the presentation and again got really good feedback. There were very few changes that I had to make that made it work better, especially making Dr. White actually say the line, “. . .individuality of character? Reani?” thus letting the audience hear what is going on instead of a silence with the next line coming in making no sense. Following are a couple of excerpts where the changes are apparent.
Page 2
(Robin nudges Reani in order to get her attention. Dr. White has just asked her a question, but all she heard was …individuality of character? Reani?)
Reani:
(looking
embarrassed for having been caught off guard.)
I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you. I must have zoned out. Can you
repeat the question, please ?
Page 3
Reani:
(looking
at dr. white) Okay. What if we write
about you as a Dr. Jekyll /Mr. Hyde character, would you be offended? (looking
at Robin)
I don’t know if I would want to be written as a student being stalked by
another (turning to Laurie) or an alien.
Dr. White: (seeing
Robert walk in the class,irritated that
yet another student has come in late catches him off guard by asking)
Robert, would it bother you to be written as a stalker or stalkee?
After making the
corrections it seems that the Drama scene does flow much better. I do realize
however that Drama is not the way for me to go if I decide to ever try writing
professionally.
Overall Summary of Works
As an overall experience, the Creative Writing class has definitely been an eye-opener for me. I came into the class with a great deal of anxiety about what would be expected on each assignment, but as I completed each assignment it became clear that maybe I could write something worth reading. I have become more relaxed about the writing process as a whole.
I have always enjoyed Poetry, so I didn’t have too many problems with that section of the class. However, I do think it helped that I had some previous experience at writing poetry and that I taken a Poetics workshop before jumping into the Poetry assignment in Creative Writing. I actually had fun writing my poems and having them edited. I entered one of my poems, “Freedom”, in a contest on the poetry.com website and it won the Editor’s Choice Award and is being published in a collection of poems with other works.
On the other hand, I still am not very comfortable with writing Drama. I had a hard time writing my dramatic scene. A great deal of work goes into a dramatic scene, such as stage direction, characterization, and having just the right balance of action and dialogue. I did the assignment, but struggled with it. Surprisingly, I didn’t have to do as much revision as I thought I would. I have decided I will not be writing Drama as a profession and hope that I don’t have to write it as a Graduate.
The easiest and most enjoyable section of the Creative Writing class was, for me, the Fiction. I thought it would be much harder than it turned out to be. I found that it is definitely my best genre. It just comes so easy. Once I have an idea for a story in my head it just flows from my mind, through my fingers and onto the page. The Minot book and the peer editing was so helpful and I got so many ideas on how to improve my future writing.
Since beginning this class I have entered my
poetry and my Fiction in different contests. My poetry is being published in one
book, but is not being published in the Bayousphere. I have entered my
fiction on writersdigest.com, but not heard back from them. I plan to enter
several pieces of my work into the Marrow and see what comes of that. I
am currently working on a fifty thousand- word novel for NaNoWriMo just to see
if I can meet the deadline. I have decided that I will not get discouraged in my
writing. I hope to eventually have a piece of Fiction published somewhere. I do
not know if I will try my hand at professional writing, but I will continue to
write and enter contests. I have discovered that it is rather relaxing.
Appendix A
Email draft exchanges
From Robin- on Drama
Reani, I like the drama. I
think it needs more action as you suggested. Maybe have someone come in late in
the middle? Or have someone dig in their backpack for a copy of their drama that
they have done way in advance and offer it, but the class guffaws at them for
being so overachieving that they refuse to show it. Or have a student pick on
another student.
From Dawn- on Fiction
Just wanted to get back to you about bird species. Unfortunately, Summer Tanagers, Baltimore Orioles, Golden-rumped Warblers, and American Goldfinches don't have the familiarity that I think you are looking for like a cardinal does which, besides a bald eagle, is probably the most recognizable species in America. I know you don't want to do it, but I would change your story to the staying power of the cardinal. You could do it in one sentence- "His companions at the feeder now thinned out, escaped, flown south for the winter, while he stays and endures the coming bitter cold- brilliant red, a banner of among the fallen leaves." Yes, too much and hokey- but you get the idea.
I know you probably think this is minor, but I believe above all, fiction and non-fiction need credibility. If I was reading this story in a magazine I would have stopped right where you alluded to the cardinal flying south and turned the page. No need reading further when the author doesn't know the subject at hand.
Laurie- on Fiction
Reani! I really like this. As a matter of fact I think
that some of these scenes should be expounded. Especially during the
confrontation over the pizza...can you show more action/emotion? Is anyone
twitching, nervously twisting their fingers, sweating, etc? Not those
things…but you know what I mean. You
asked if the he/she thing works and I think it does. I tried to insert names as
I read, but I like the ambiguity. More details. More details! J
Bert- on Poetry
I like the concept and it makes
you feel really close to the action. I'm not really sure that everyone
would understand the Christmas tree reference. So we must assume that your
reader is familiar with racing. But, this is perhaps the only way to
describe it. I like the format as well.
Robin- on Poetry
I like the second stanza. It really pulls out that it is a race instead of a cat. I like the juxtaposition of the two stanzas. It is almost like a riddle type poem in the first stanza with the answer in the second. I think the third line seems too long for the swift action of the stanza though. Maybe shorten the line with something like: watching gages in a dream, or something like that which is shorter may help keep the speedy rhythm. Just a suggestion. I like the poem and even someone like me who is not into racing and cars (other than keeping one running to use) can get a kick out of the poem.
At first I was
thrown off by the change in length of lines in the second verse but by the time
I got half way through the stanza I saw the need for the speed of the race to
show through.
Appendix B
I did editing for Robin Stone on her Fiction, Drama and Poetry. I edited for Laurie on her Fiction, Kelly on her poetry, Robert’s Fiction and Dominique’s Poetry and Fiction