LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Journal / Portfolio Sample Submission 2003

Jennifer Davis
December 1, 2003

Introduction  

            Reviewing my journal is both one of the hardest things I have ever done, and one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.  Looking back at my work I see a little more clearly where I lack creativity, plot development, and stamina in my writing.  At the same time, I also see diversity and extraordinary enthusiasm in each piece of work.  Either way, it is remarkable to be the person privileged enough to bring a story to life.  This responsibility was never so poignant than when I realized that for each story represented under my name, I am it’s only author, as well as the critic that keeps it alive even when it’s not being read. 

            Understanding that poetry is not my strong point, I struggled with what form I should write my content in.  Although I had taken Dr. Gorman’s workshop in poetry the previous summer, I continue to struggle with how to create and develop strong, yet subtle poetry.  So, I tried the most reasonable approach I could think of; I started with a concept that was both emotionally charged for me, as well as subject I felt would best represent my life.  The subject being chosen, Christ’s Redemption story, I used key ideas in Three Genres.  I constantly worked on my poetry so that the story would not simply be told, but that it would be represented through an image I was portraying, namely a stained glass window.  Thus, Stained Glass, Crucified was created.  I revised my poem a total of nine documented times.  Tamrynn Fett and Laurie Eckhart were my peer reviewers.  In addition, Dr. Gorman analyzed my writing and many of his suggestions I included in my final submission.

            Later, I wrote three more poems, Foreboding Enemy, documents the havoc caused by love, Peccadillo is about the damage sin causes in our lives, and lastly, My Past is more of a whimsical, fantasy poem.  Although I did make a few minor adjustments to these poems, these three remain very much like their original creation.  I wrote these poems for a few specific reasons.  One of those reasons being that I wanted to try the disciple of writing in a particular verse pattern.  However, just as importantly, I wanted to challenge myself to write three distinct pieces of poetry.  Even though they are not as personal as my original poem, they represent an audience beyond myself.

            Early in the semester I began writing my fiction.  My story originated from the point of view of a frustrated mother, but as to be expected, the story took an unusual turn and I wrote about the struggles a couple has conceiving a child.  Furthermore, the story was propelled by the death of the father-to-be.  I presented Finding Kinsey to the class, as well as received more specific feedback from Tamrynn Fett, Laurie Eckhart and Robin Stone.  I have eight documented revisions of Finding Kinsey, and for my final grade I submitted the revised first half of the story.  In addition, I wrote an entirely new story named Happy Hor for the same reasons I wrote the three extra poems, to further develop my writing.

            Lastly, I wrote What’s Her Problem? which serves as my drama.  This play is unique compared to my other works because it is comical and deals with a typical problem in a light-hearted way.  Since I also presented this to the class, I was satisfied with the feedback I received and the revision process was keep to a minimal.

            Each of these genres have helped me to understanding the fundamentals of writing for a larger audience, as well as helped me to learn my writing style and more clearly visualize my audience.

Poetry

Link to Poetry Submission (Stained Glass, Crucified & 3 Other Poems)

            As I mentioned earlier, Stained Glass, Crucified was born out of the depths of my heart and the passion that drives my life.  This poem, though not by any means the work of a professional, represents my first attempt at the art of writing poetry.  The story it tells is that of Christ’s Redemption story for mankind and the imagery I tried to convey was that of a stained glass window in a cathedral. 

            My original rendition, Broken, arguably the best version by some, was written after reading several poems by Robert Frost.  Though my style does not resemble his, I was encouraged by the power of his poetry.  Trying to achieve that same greatness through the use of the written word, I wrote a six-stanza free verse poem.  The first four stanzas containing three lines each, the fifth stanza containing two lines, and the last stanza containing one line.  The last line is, “In fragments you’re looking back.”  I was hoping that this line would not only represent Christ’s influence in my life today, but also the beauty of the colorful stained glass illuminating whoever stands before it, and ultimately shining Christ’s “light” on them.

            When I met with Dr. Gorman, he suggested that I create a more dramatic and less ambiguous entrance to each of the stanzas.  He offered the idea of beginning each stanza with a glimpse of the image.  For instance, the first line would no longer be “Broken fragments of glass,” but rather “Glass.”  This idea intrigued me, but it also challenged me to condense my word use to only those words necessary to convey the meaning.  In addition, Dr. Gorman suggested I change the title of the poem, instead make it a direct representation of what my poem is about.  As it was, the title resembled more of a clue to a puzzle, than the final piece.  So, I drafted one version of the poem according to Dr. Gorman’s suggestions.

            Surprisingly, Laurie made many of the same suggestions.  I had a few rhymes close together that seemed to distract the reader away from the poem, so Laurie suggested removing those coincidental rhymes.  Furthermore, Laurie suggested that I use more concrete images and she focused in on my inconsistencies in the poem.  Questioning my use of the phrase “Humbly you make me bow.”  She helped me to realize that in this context, the word “Humbly” almost seemed forced, therefore making the action seem contradictory.  In addition, Laurie was a great help because she helped me to see my stylistic problems, such as capital letters being used after enjambed lines, as well as changes in voice tense that could confuse the reader.  Lastly, Tamrynn used her sense of tone to explain what lines developed my story more accurately, and which lines fell flat.  This ability was a great asset to me as I tried to decide which lines truly conveyed the message and image I was trying to portray.  As with Dr. Gorman’s suggestions, I also revised the poem according to Laurie and Tamrynn’s reviews.

            In addition, the book was a great resource to me.  The most obvious concept that I continue to repeat is the use of imagery.  In addition, I used a few of the techniques, such as consonance and slant rhymes.  Though I could have used more devices to strengthen my poetry, I thought the project would be graded mostly on the development and subsequent transformation of the poem.  I now understand that this belief was detrimental to my being able to compose a well-balanced poem, and ultimately my constant revisions diluted the meaning and passion I intended to portray.  However, it is not in vain these changes were done, I learned how to be more precise and direct in my writing, as well as a slight understanding of the balance between passion and the importance of elegant word choice to convey a message through poem.

Fiction

Link to Fiction Submission (Finding Kinsey & Happy Hor)

            My original fiction piece began with a mother of a mentally handicapped child struggling with how to deal with the challenge of raising him as a single parent.  However, as I began to write, I soon realized a need to for a flashback to explain the absence of the father.  In the flashback I found another story, so I ended up dropping the original idea and the story of a couple finding out they were expecting their first child after eleven years of trying became my new storyline.  Because I have little in common with what I actually wrote, I found it challenging and gratifying.

            My first draft includes the death of the father in an automobile accident just before the child is born.  By the end of the story, which is only ten pages, the chaplain who first consoles Laraine (the main character and mother) upon her husband’s death becomes a father figure for her.  In addition, Teddy (the chaplain) and Laraine’s mother become Laraine’s support system and even help to name the baby when it is born.  As evident in my synopsis, the story is short and fast paced, with a lot of dramatic tension.

            Although there are definite drawbacks to writing dramatic short stories, I received positive feedback from the class as a whole.  The biggest concern I heard when I presented to the class was not that there was too much action, but that maybe it happened too fast, therefore hindering the needed character development.  Even though I had received a lot of good feedback from the class on how to correct this problem, I felt it also necessary to send Finding Kinsey to Laurie Eckhart and Tamrynn Fett for further critique.  In addition, Laurie forwarded it to Robin Stone who also sent me a lot of good feedback.  Mostly their feedback consisted of corrected tenses throughout the fiction, and questioned a few inconsistencies in the story.  Ultimately I was excited to receive such positive reviews from my peers.  Lastly, Dr. White read it prior to my presenting it to the class and suggested that “[t]he plot outline is really more suitable to a novel or a long story.”  So, with that in mind, I took Dr. White’s advise and concentrated on rewriting the story. Although Dr. White had originally said I might want to focus on the first couple of pages, I decided to rewrite the first half.  My reason for doing so was that I was too concerned that without an accurate opening and some kind of conclusion, my final submission would actually cause more of a hindrance to the reader, than represent my actual abilities.  Furthermore, I wanted the story to remain short, which allows it to keep the quick pace I originally intended.  Although I know that dramatic stories are usually published in full-length novel formats, I wanted to explore the option of writing a dramatic short story.

            After carefully reviewing all of the suggestions and concerns, I rewrote the first half of the story, stopping just before the death of the father.  I was hoping that in doing this I would avoid the tendency for the story to seem melodramatic.  In response to my peer reviewers and class discussion concerning Finding Kinsey, I focused my final submission more on Laraine’s fears and inner thoughts during the pregnancy.  Furthermore, I developed the relationship between her and her husband Scott so that when the reader learns of his death, the reader would actually feel a bond with both Laraine and Scott, and “feel” with her.

My intentions in rewriting Finding Kinsey was not to have a beginning and a conclusion, but to have finished a part of the story.  I imagine that the story will constantly evolve as I continue to revisit and revise it.  Although I suspect I will eventually include my original idea in the story, I felt that for the final submission, I needed to develop a link between the characters and readers, and finding out with Laraine that she is pregnant is the best way I could think to do that.  As we know, as long as the story lives in our heads, it will also remain a work in progress.

Drama

Link to Drama Submission (What’s Her Problem?)

            My drama is entitled What’s Her Problem? and is both fictional and comical.  The scene is set in a typical classroom at a university in which students sit in a circle.  It is evident by the opening in the play that the characters all know each other very well, therefore appearing that the semester is well underway.  The problem begins when one student doesn’t acknowledge the friendly advances of another student.  As the situation escalates, it appears that the problem is solved when a sympathetic student, Robin, learns that Laurie (the disgruntled student) has a pimple.  However, what Robin doesn’t know is that although the pimple has definitely dampened Laurie’s mood, the real problem is due to the irresponsibility of a fellow classmate.  As the students talk amongst themselves, Jessica, the most unsympathetic student realizes that Laurie is actually mad at her.  Instead of being rude toward Jessica, Laurie handles her lack of responsibility discretely but still manages to end the situation with retribution. 

            In reality, I only made a few minor adjustments to my drama scene.  I think that seeing it being played out confirmed for me that the dialog was effective, and except for a description of the setting, the play was efficient and worked well.  Ultimately, the content remains the same, but I have added a setting and restructured a few of the lines.

            Probably the hardest part about writing a drama is writing the concept and theme sentences.  My original concept sentence was quick and somewhat elusive: “Students try to discover what is wrong with their fellow classmate, ultimately resulting in a misdiagnosis and a surprising twist.”  In writing this as my concept sentence, which is placed at the top of the page, I was hoping to wet the appetite of my readers.  However, after reviewing the purpose of the concept sentence it class, I realized that the purpose is actually to “conceptualize” the motivation of the play.  Now, though still short, it reads: “Students speculate about what could be wrong with their fellow classmate, ultimately resulting in a misdiagnosis and confrontation resulting in a resolution.”  Even though it doesn’t seem to have changed much, it is not as ambiguous.

            In addition to reworking the concept sentence, the theme sentence also received a little revision.  For the class reading it read:  “Often we misunderstand people’s attitudes and intentions toward us.”  During class discussion, they suggested that I also include the importance of a fellow student’s sincerity, and a little concern, allowing the truth to be revealed.  So, the theme sentence has been transformed to read: “People’s attitudes and intentions are often misunderstood.  However with a little concern, the truth is often revealed.”

            Now I will include the first page of my earlier draft:

What’s her problem?

Concept Sentence:

Students speculate about what could be wrong with their fellow classmate, ultimately resulting in a misdiagnosis and confrontation resulting in a resolution.

Characters:

Jessica

Robin

David

Dr. White

Corrie

Laurie

Scene:

In a university classroom the students are seated in desks that are set up in a circle.  Jessica, Robin and David are sitting next to each other at the front of the room, which is near Dr. White.  Laurie and Corrie are sitting in the back of the room, diagonal, yet across from Jessica, Robin and David.  The narrator is off-stage. 

Narrator:  Before Class (lights flip off and on, prompting the beginning of the play)

Jessica:  “Hey, Laurie.”

(Laurie, her chin resting in her hands, looks towards Jessica, but doesn’t reply.  Jessica walks past her and sits next to Robin.)

Jessica:  “Wow, what’s her problem?

Robin:  “I don’t know.  Why, what’s up?”

Jessica:  “She didn’t even say ‘hi.’  Does she have something stuck up her butt or something?”

(David leans in to ease drop.)

Robin:  “Maybe she’s having a bad day.  I noticed she wasn’t in our LIT class this morning.”

Jessica:  “So, she can still acknowledge my presence can’t she?”

Summary

            This course was surprisingly difficult for me.  I really struggled as I wrote in this (creative) format for the first time.  Everything about writing creatively was new, and though a little scary, I was anxious to see what I could produce.  I think my greatest progress is not that I have achieved some great realization about myself as a writer, but that I actually did it.  I had unique, somewhat intelligent thoughts that I was able to transfer from my head to a computer screen.  This is probably the greatest achievement I have experienced.  However, realizing I can do this and continuing to do it are two totally different things.

            Ultimately, I believe I will always be a writer of some sort.  I have thoroughly enjoyed challenging myself and I especially love visualizing on screen how my mind works.  I say this not because I have all of these great ideas stored up, but because with all my writings I have taken a simple thought or concept and through typing it out, a story develops that I never knew existed.  This is the greatest satisfaction in writing, discovering a whole new world- the one inside my own head.

            In response to what my strongest genre is, I honestly don’t know.  I know poetry because is not my strong-suit because I still have a hard time hearing the rhythm in poems, much less, write it.  I am not sure that fiction is my most strength either.  I know that it seems completely natural to me, but that doesn’t determine what my strengths are.  Because I am very wordy and can write somewhat cleverly, I believe that with endurance and perseverance, fiction could possibly be my strength.  But, as of yet, I am not convinced that it is.  Just as my inclination is to be too wordy, fiction and drama put my natural abilities to good use.  Drama too felt normal, but I believe that like fiction, my work could use refinement.

            I responded to the fiction most positively.  I responded favorably to the fiction assignment because it had the least restrictions and was not influenced by any other outside source than my own understanding and experiences of why and how the world works.  In addition, the assignment allowed me to venture out of my comfort zone.  It was unlike any other class, where you relate your paper to prepackaged content from another source, but instead, allowed me to explore a different set of circumstances and relate to situations I have never been in.  This kind of challenge is exciting to me, conjuring up emotions that are attached to fictional scenarios, so that I may write realistically for my audience.  In addition, it also made me more creative and made me think outside my own box of limited experience.

            Looking back, it is only now that I can see what I have learned about writing fiction in this course.  In hindsight I realize that I have experienced a lot of life and have had a lot of unique experiences and with a little time, and a heightened awareness, I will encounter my own interesting perspective concerning my life experiences, which will ultimately give me great writing material.  If my tendency to leap out into unknown territory could somehow be channeled so that I may have an anchor of real experience to hold to, I might be able to write more effectively and believably for my audience.  It is exciting to think about where my experiences will take my writing, if only I give it the time to develop.

            As I already stated, I envision using the knowledge and experience I gained through this course to strengthen my writing skills.  Beyond this course, I think I still want to be a published author, though now I am a little leery of the perpetual revision process.  However, I would like to know if I can, with practice, develop my unique writing style, and find out if there is an audience for it.  Outside this I can only speculate that I will continue to write fiction for myself, and possibly family and friends.  In the future I plan to write dramas for my students at my current job, where I teach English as a Second Language.  Drama is a great way to get people to practice using English, as well as break down culture and comfort barriers.  Later, I want to teach English in a foreign country, and seeing how creative writing opened our class up to discussion and created a forum for ideas, I would love to incorporate creative writing to accomplish the goal of sharing my life and faith with others around me.  Maybe I will give publishing a try!

Appendix

Jennifer, Peer Reviewer:

Poetry – Corrie, Enrique, Tamrynn (also her respondent)

Fiction – Corrie, Laurie, Robin, Tamrynn

Drama – Robin (I read her script & briefly discussed switching the characters, otherwise the review process was very limited.)

My Peer Reviewers:

Poetry – Dr. Gorman (not really a peer), Laurie, Tamrynn

Fiction – Class Presentation, Tamrynn, Laurie, Robin

Drama – Class, Tamrynn