LITR 3731: Creative Writing 2008
Student Poetry Submission

Valerie Gordon

Chauvinists

Most men you know are so wrong,

our gender they try to malign.

But we’re smart, resilient and strong.

When standing around in a throng

they keep singing the same old, sad song.

Most men you know are so wrong.

They’d undress us down to our thong,

with our shoes off we should be just fine.

But we’re smart, resilient and strong.

With their wishes we must go along,

have more babies they always opine.

Most men you know are so wrong.

In the kitchen they say we belong

doing chores that they often assign.

But we’re smart, resilient and strong.

Their thoughts should be given the gong,

it’s time we discover our spine.

Most men you know are so wrong,

‘cause we’re smart, resilient and strong.

Revisions and Edits

          Above is the final draft of my poem, "Chauvinists." The first draft is below.

This was extremely difficult for me, as I have never thought of myself as a poet.  I like writing prose, but cannot seem to get the hang of poetry.

          I really wanted to write something that was serious and profound, or at least heart-warming like most of the others we have workshopped, and had agonized over it for many days.  I tried to come up with ideas that were of subjects that I cared about, like my children, my grandchildren, or my husband but nothing seemed right.

          I am always amazed that our youngest son writes poetry, and in fact has had several published.  His poems are dark, even bleak, and many of them I do not understand.  It was important to me that my poem be easily understandable.

          It suddenly occurred to me that I do not read most poetry because it is so touchy-feely.  I enjoy Ogden Nash and limericks.  I had to write something that sounded like me, a poem that was satirical or humorous.  Having talked about the feminist movement in another class, and being sure that I am NOT a feminist, I knew that I could write something on that subject.  And I was sure that it would at least be humorous, and hoped that in its satire it would make someone think.

          I asked Susan Butaud and Stacy Burleson to read and make suggestions for changes for the poem.

          I did not hear much from either one, but Susan wanted me to change a word in the fifth verse from “then” to “often”, which I thought was a good idea.  It evened out the rhythm in that verse.  She also stated that she liked the poem and that it “…is definitely your voice!”.

          Stacy Burleson was my first Creative Writing professor at College of the Mainland.  She was instrumental in my realization that I really liked to write.  She reminded me that the title should not be in bold type.  She told me that the second lines of the verses should begin with a lower case letter.  She also recommended a change in the words.  She noted that in the third verse there is “should be”, and that those words also appear in the next verse.  She said that it was too redundant and asked if I could find another word for “should”.  I changed the second “should” to “must”.  The meaning does not change and perhaps makes it clearer.  One thing that Stacy said is that she does not recall ever having seen an humorous villanelle before.

          I appreciated both the ladies’ help and input very much.  And here is the final draft of my poem.

Chauvinists

Most men you know are so wrong,

Our gender they try to malign.

But we’re smart, resilient and strong.

When standing around in a throng

They keep singing the same old, sad song.

Most men you know are so wrong.

They’d undress us down to our thong,

With our shoes off we should be just fine.

But we’re smart, resilient and strong.

With their wishes we should go along,

Have more babies they always opine.

Most men you know are so wrong.

In the kitchen they say we belong

Doing chores that they then assign.

But we’re smart, resilient and strong.

Their thoughts should be given the gong,

It’s time we discover our spine.

Most men you know are so wrong,

‘cause we’re smart, resilient and strong.

Valerie Gordon