Christina Holmes

Wrong Place at the Wrong Time

CHAPTER I--Revised

Shelia sat in the same corner of the cafeteria Monday through Friday. She sat there with her thoughts wondering to the ‘what if’ list she kept filed away in the deepest crevices of her mind. As she ate the meal she had so painfully worked to purchase, she overheard the students scurry between tables settling in where a familiar face welcomed them. Her thoughts would not cease, she kept wondering how did her life end up this way? What had happened to all those plans her parents had made for her; private school, piano lessons, summers in the Caribbean and that full ride scholarship to college, why had it all come to such an abrupt end? As she watched the students gathering their books and dashing off to their next class her only thought was, “That should be me.” She sat there while her food grew cold, in a daze.  Her thoughts drifted back to a day on the front porch of her home. She had been outside talking with Tatiana who lives across the street. They had been friends since pre-school and their families had spent summers together in the islands. They had been discussing the classes they would be taking in the fall at Primrose College Predatory Academy—the private school every teenager was dying to attend.

 “So Tatiana, have you decided what classes you’re going to take this fall?” Tatiana placed her hands on her hips and let out a loud sigh, “Hmmm…actually I really didn’t have a chance to pick my classes. As you know my parents make all the decisions for me, so they picked my classes for me.” Sarcastically she continued, “Oh no, I’m wrong, my dad did let me chose one class, an elective.”

Sheila frowned at Tatiana and replied, “So what elective did you choose?” “Home economics,” replied Tatiana. “Did I hear you say home economics?” Sheila said with surprise. “Yes, home economics!—you know how my mom despises domesticity.  So I thought I’d do it just to get under her skin.”

“Oh,” said Sheila. “I hope it works out for you.” Just then she heard her mother’s voice.  “Sheila, Sheila,” her mother called. “Coming momma,” she replied, her voice trailing in from the front porch.

 “I better go in Tati and see what my mom wants. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

As she entered the house she passed through the ‘Hallway of Success’ which was the adjacent to the foyer. Her mother had given it that name when a relative commented to her, “Cheryl, you have your own, hallway of success, don’t you.” Ever since that evening the name had remained and her mother had so diligently worked for an entire month hanging and moving and hanging again so that when she finished it looked just perfect.

The walls in the hallway displayed the accomplishments of her mother and father. Her father had attended Howard University, one of the first historically black universities. There he had worked ardently and received his Doctorate in Chemical Engineering. Her mother had attended Spellman University where she had received her Master’s in Minority Literature. Along with their degrees, hung a plethora of plaques commending them for their outstanding community services.

As she walked down the hallway she glanced at these plaques and in the inner thoughts of her mind she could her mother say, “Sheila one day your accomplishments will be hanging on the wall as well—just keep your focus and you’ll succeed.”  

She had reached the kitchen where her mother was standing at the stove stirring a huge pot of gumbo. The smell made Shela long for dinnertime to be here.

“Yes Momma, here I am,” she approached her mother by the stove. “Shela, have you finished your homework?”  “Yes Momma, I finished it during study hall at school, why?”

“Well,” her mother replied, “ I would like you to help me prepare dinner.”

“Sure Momma, what can I do to help?”

“Set the table and get the bread basket out of the pantry to put the cornbread in.”

Sheila followed through with her mother’s request.  As she began setting the table her mother struck up a conversation with her.

“Sheila, how are your studies in school, have you finished your science project?” “You need to make sure it will be ready for the national science fair—you know it’s next week?”

 “Yes momma, I know, I completed it last week and I took it in to my science teacher so she could make sure it met the requirements before I submitted it.” 

“Mrs. Kurt said I should get first place.”

“We’re so proud of you Sheila, graduating a whole year early and entering the university on a full scholarship”… full scholarship… full scholarship….

The sound of the food cart being wheeled through the cafeteria drew her thoughts back to the present. Those dreams were long gone now. The only university she knew of was the one she sat in daily consuming her lunch. Her lunch! She had completely forgotten she was eating lunch. Her food was surely cold now, but that didn’t matter. She couldn’t afford to let it go to waste; she had worked too hard to get the money to purchase it. A grilled sandwich and a small cup of soup was all she could afford. She had managed to get a job tutoring students at the university. It didn’t pay much and was only contingent upon someone answering her hand written ad;

·        Tutoring Daily

·        Math and Science

·        10-12 and 2-4

·        Atrium II

·        Look for neon yellow sign

She wasn’t sure how long it would last since she hadn’t received approval from the tutoring lab; outside tutoring was frowned upon. If anyone found out it would be back to the panhandling on the street corner. That’s where she found out about the tutoring scam, will not really a scam but still not approved. She had met a girl, Tonya, who stayed at the same shelter she was staying at, Star of Hope.  Tanya had told her about tutoring at the university because she too had done it until someone became angry with her because they didn’t do well on their exam and reported her to the tutoring lab. That had been over a year ago so she told Sheila she might want to give it a try especially since she was so good in math and science.

“You know Shelia, you seem pretty smart. You should try tutoring at the university, I did it until I got caught.”

Sheila placed her ad on the ad wall and waited for students to show up.  She had been tutoring students for the past three weeks and so far she was maintaining her secrecy. She charged only twelve dollars an hour, definitely lower than the average tutoring fee of fifteen to twenty dollars an hour. In the three weeks  that she had been doing this she had been lucky enough to land a couple of regulars, mostly freshman who sought out her services and weren’t able to afford the regular fees of private tutoring. On a good week she could make ninety dollars, but that was few and far between. With the two regulars, who came like clockwork, she made only forty eight dollars a week; hardly enough to provide her the lifestyle she was used to. Gone was the canopy bed in the vibrant colors of pink and green, the soft and comfy carpet that warmed her feet each time she  got out of bed and the private bathroom with the big  Jacuzzi tub where she would spent hours soaking in bubbles until her mother would make her get out. She could still hear her mother’s voice,

 “Sheila, are you still in the tub? You need to get out before you shrivel up and disappear.” 

“But mom I’m still soaking, ten more minutes I promise and I’ll get out.”

 Her mother’s voice seemed so near, yet in actuality it was far away. They were all just memories to her now.  Her new lifestyle consisted of sleeping at a shelter on a small cot, sharing a public bathroom, and panhandling on street corners if her tutoring gig didn’t pan out. She had been at the shelter for the past two weeks, but that too could change if the people there began asking too many questions. If they did she would have to pack her small back pack and return to living with the rest of the homeless people down by the river. There is where she found out about the shelter. Most of the people down by the river had either been to the shelter or knew of it. A person could stay there as long as they followed the rules: no drugs or alcohol, not fighting, look for work or work during the day and help out with a chore. Sheila had no problem with the rules, since she didn’t indulge in drugs or alcohol, she also wasn’t a trouble maker and helping out was just like being at home, her mother had assigned chores to everyone in their home including her father who always kept the game room clean.  An older lady they called Mrs. Josie had told her about the   shelter after she had been staying down by the river for a few nights.

“What’s yo name chil’, you looks too purty to be stayin’ down by des waters.” “Ain’t you got no family?” Sheila wasn’t even aware that the lady was speaking to her.

“Don’t you hear me speakin’ to yah?”  said Mrs. Josie. “Ma’am, I’m sorry I didn’t know you were talking to me.”

“I says what you doin’ down here, where yo family is? Don’t know gurl yung as youse is need to be stayin’ in des parts.”

 “Well, hmm, I have not family, they died in a car accident and I have nowhere else to go.”

 “Oh I sees,” said Mrs. Josie. “You may want to gon down to de shelter and sees if dey can lit you stay dere, dis ain’t no place for young gurls lik yah sef.”

“ The shelter, what’s that?” replied Sheila in a whispering voice. “It’s a place where youse can stay de night, but youse haft ta wurk in de dey time.”

REVISION ACCOUNT

The story originated as I sat in the Quiznos sandwich shop at the university. I was trying to think of what I could write my manuscript on and the first thing that popped into my head was to make it a story that somehow had to do with the university. The idea came as I sat watching the different students sitting, eating their lunches, before hurrying of to their next class. I thought to myself, this would be a good setting for a story. I then began jotting down names of characters and what my objective for these characters would be. I  first thought a tragedy would be cool because people like tragedies, then I thought that would take too long so I thought about a short story of a young girl with great aspirations who gets herself into a little trouble because she has led such a sheltered life. The only problem with a short story is it limits your writing, so then I thought perhaps I should write a story that could be told in five chapters. Thus began my writing. I have not finished the story, but have finished the first chapter.

Once I completed the manuscript, exchanged it with one of my literature professors, Dr. Klett,  as well as one of my Creative Writing classmates, Alana Nesteruk. The responses that I received were very positive and confirmed that I should continue with the story.  Alana commented, “Christina the story has a good flow.” While Dr. Klett remarked,

Christina, the story is intriguing because right away you are presented with unanswered questions; who is this woman? Why is she in a university if she’s not a student? What happened to all that potential? Later on you wonder what happened to her family—the way you’ve presented her response to Mrs. Josie indicated that the car accident story isn’t the truth. So you’ve done a good job of hooking your audience right away and creating a desire to read more.

In addition to the encouragement that was conveyed in the responses, there were also several other observations. The beginning of the story began with “She,” which Alana indicated caused her confusion is differing between the characters as the story progressed. She felt that if I stated the name of the girl   at the onset it would bring clarity to the characters.  After re-reading the story, taking into account her Alana’s response, and of course wanting to please my audience, I took her advice and made the change. Another area that Alana suggested that I change was to disclose more information earlier in the story such as, “Why was the girl staying in the shelter?” However, since this story will unfold in chapters I decided to keep the reader wondering.

Some of the unanswered questions that were conveyed, specifically by Dr. Klett was the plausibility of the story. Dr. Klett felt that the main characters story of panhandling and tutoring seemed a bit unrealistic. Under the assumption that Shelia had a high school diploma Dr. Klett felt that surely she could do better than subjecting herself to jobs that only paid forty-eight dollars a week.  In addition to thinking that a change in the story regarding the main characters financial situation would lend more validity to the story, she also stated, “If there are reasons why she’s prevented from pursuing other work, providing them earlier might solve this plausibility issue.”

As I stated, overall the suggestions were very helpful. What I decided to do was make the changes pertaining to addressing the girl by her name at the onset of the story, in addition I did set off the dialogue as Dr. Klett suggested, especially since it looked like one big paragraph.  As for the money situation I did decide to increase the amount, not by much because that would take away from the hardship I want her to experience. As for disclosing more information I decided not to. Since the story is going to continue in further chapters, I felt that disclosing too much information at the inception of the story would make it less interesting and the audience wouldn’t find any reason to continue reading it.

Presently, I think the story is intriguing, but a bit weak. I believe that it will develop into a stronger story as I continue building it up. I also believe it has some good dynamics like the “hook” that Dr. Klett referred to and the “good flow,” that Alana mentioned both elements that will draw the reader in.  The area that I would like to develop is to add more imagery into the story. In attending the classroom workshops, I have been able to see how imagery can be used to add texture and plausibility to a story.  As for publication, I am not sure. I think I will finish the story first, let some other people read it, and once I get a consensus on their feelings I might think about sending it into a teen magazine since does revolve around teens. We will have to wait and see!