LITR 3731 Creative Writing UHCL sample student poetry submission 2006

LITR 3731: Creative Writing 2006
Student Poetry Submission

Theresa Mullins

Salty Winds

Salty winds take me there

To ferry rides across the bay

Where fishing boats dot the sea

Amongst sparkling stars

A black and white tower lights the sky

Leading to that place of memories

A home that makes me smile,

Fifteen feet off the ground

It’s color green

windows, twenty-four

Tales of fishing trips

Sandy shoes by the door

Sea gulls chattering in the air

Crabs dance on the sand

Fishing on the short pier

Hook caught in pa-pa’s shirt

Towels drying in the breeze

A place where I could be myself

Gumbo, making my mouth water

Lively seashells on a shelf

Weary eyelids drifting away

With the humming of a tugboat’s song

Wrapped in loving tenderness

From the laughter of a full day

Endless ribbons of golden rays

Sand between my toes

Sandpiper’s scurry around the waves

Closer to that place so dear

Salty winds take me there . . .

Revision Account:

I am not very confident about my ability to write poetry and I was not sure about my topic. However, after careful consideration I decided to use my experiences at my grandmother and grandfather’s beach house, as the subject. This place was a great source of happy childhood memories and experiences. My biggest hurdle, since I have never written a poem before, was to mold these memories into a cohesive poem. The book has great advice for development but I still felt a little shaky about the success of context. The formation of my poem was established over time as I used some of the descriptive phrases from my writings on this subject. These phrases to me are like “snap shots” of these memories.

When I finished this poem I was still struggling with some of the imagery. I asked Joanna Ellis, a classmate, for her opinion and recommendations on my poem. Here are some of her comments and recommendations:

This is an amazing poem! I love it. The imagery is fantastic and your short lines are just so full of meaning and life!

Joanna also recommended that I rethink some of the punctuation that was used, clarify some of the thoughts in the first couple of stanzas and re-examine the line separations.

I also asked my sister to give me her thoughts on my poem.

She really like the poem and felt that there was really only had one line that needed to be clarified. This line was also in the second stanza, where some of the imagery needed to be clarified.

After careful consideration of both recommendations this is my resulting final draft. However, I will continue to review and think about the imagery. I feel that this poem is what I wanted to project and it has inspired me to continue writing poetry.

Theresa Mullins

Salty Winds

(First Draft)