LITR 3731: Creative Writing 2006
Student Poetry Submission
Laura Guerrero
Miracle
(Final Draft)
Three years went by without a sign
I had come to accept what was not mine
Whose choice was it anyway?
I never thought I would see the day.
To my surprise it did arrive
I prayed every day he would survive
Now what was I to do?
Call him what, name him who?
Back and forth, side to side
Dropping and dropping, please don’t die
Show me a sign that you are okay
The look on his face, what to say.
Bright lights above, down the hall
Was it my time? Was it my call?
Breathe, Breathe, just stay alive
Time to wake up, time to derive.
In and out it was over
I could not believe what I saw over my shoulder
There he was just like I imagined
He was a miracle.
Poetry Revision Account
I want to begin saying that I am not much of a “creative writer.” So, when I was given this assignment, I was a little apprehensive on how my poem would turn out. While trying to decide what I wanted to write my poem about, several parts of my life came to mind. I wanted to write something that meant a lot to me and finding that “one” something was somewhat difficult for me. I did not want to write about just anything, I wanted to write about something that was a big part of my life. My husband John was the first thing that came to mind, but I did not know how I would write how great he was on paper. Plus, I did not want him to get a big head. (Just kidding John!) I started to think about our marriage and all of the great things that had taken place before our marriage. Then I thought maybe I would write about marriage, but I did not know exactly what it was that I wanted to write about marriage. I wanted to write something that I could feel comfortable telling the whole world. I wanted to write something that both my husband and I shared and that was the birth of our son Benjamin. Benjamin was a gift from God. He was a blessing. When learned that I was pregnant after over 3 years of trying and 9 years of marriage, my prayers were finally answered. I did not get a chance to present my poem in class, but I did get to share my poem with a classmate as well as family and friends. The responses I received were pretty positive. At first I chose to write four stanzas, then I added another stanza to complete my “story.” Each stanza consists of four lines per stanza. I also used rhyme in my poem. I like the sound of rhyme and it was working for me. Marina’s (classmate) reaction to my poem was “That is really great!” She said that she like the way my poem told a story and how she was in suspense to find out what the outcome would be, even though she knows about Benjamin. I asked Marina about my 3rd stanza, I wanted to take out the “Telling myself to breath… I was not sure how to change it? We both liked the repetition of Breathe, so I used it in my Final Draft. She said that my last stanza needed some work and I agreed completely. I was not sure if I should have kept all of the stanza’s rhyming or if I should end it on the actual title of my poem? Marina (classmate) suggested that I end it in a rhyme, but I was not sure at the time she read my poem. I wanted to take the time to revise and re-think my thoughts. I also shared my poem with my husband and my sister Zenia as well as my Mother. I asked each one of them to be brutally honest and I think they did give me their “true” opinion. My husband did not know quite what to say at first, but “It’s really good” and “I hate that kind of stuff.” (He does not like to write poetry) He suggested that I Take out the last stanza and re-write the whole thing. My sister Zenia said that she enjoyed it. She said that she is waiting for her next Nephew or Niece! (Ha) Zenia suggested that I keep “Miracle” at the end of my poem. She said that it threw off the rhyming, but it was what it was… “A Miracle!” My Mom of course had nothing but good things to say, she’s my Mom! So, I went with Marina, John and Zenia’s suggestions. Thanks to all, I feel like my poem turned out quite well.
DRAFT
Miracle
Three years went by without a sign
I had come to accept what was not mine
Who’s choice was it anyway?
I never thought I would see the day.
To my surprise it did arrive
I prayed every day he would survive
Now what was I to do?
Call him what, name him who?
Back and forth, side to side
Dropping and dropping, please don’t die
Show me a sign that you are okay
The look on his face, what to say.
Bright lights above, down the hall
Was it my time, was it my call?
Telling myself to Breathe, just stay alive
Time to wake up, time to derive.
A special night that turned out to be
I never thought it would be me
The day began all new
One look at him and I knew.
It was a Miracle.
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