LITR 3731
Creative Writing 2006
Student Fiction Submission & Revision Account

Demra Trube

One More Time
 
            It was long into the night. Stars hung in silvery sheets across the inky sky. One of the best places to observe this was the Yomi Plain. The silvery sheets cast an eerie glow over the plain. Momotaro, a boy in his mid-teens, stood on the wooded edge of the area. His head was turned toward the sky. A telescope was pressed firmly to his eye. His shoulder-length black hair was hanging backwards because of how much he had his head tilted back. His darkly colored cotton clothes hung loosely on his small body. Momotaro enjoyed coming here to observe the natural beauty of the Yomi Plain.
            Traveling a little bit away from the woods, he settled himself into a sitting position next to his bag. Momotaro trained his telescope on one of the large standing stones of the Ancient Wall, which marked the Border between the Shade Realm and the Mortal Realm. It was very difficult to see the Ancient Wall at night. He would have loved to take a closer look, but did not dare get any closer; he had heard too many stories about what had happened to people who did that.
            The use of the the Ancient Wall had not been discussed openly for many decades. As a result, Momotaro knew very little about it. He did know that it had been used during the Yomi Rebellion, which had been mainly fought on the Yomi Plain. Momotaro didn’t know who originally built the Wall, but knew it had been partially rebuilt during the Rebellion. The builders had not been able to finish their work. The boy shivered thinking of only using a small part of a defense to protect himself from the powerful and hostile Shades and whatever else was on the other side of the Border.
            There was a sudden pulse of energy from the Border. Jumping from surprise, Momotaro sent himself sprawling across the grass. His heart was racing. His whole body was shaking. As he shook, he rolled over onto his stomach. Slowly, he raised his head. He looked across the plain to the Ancient Wall. Several of the stones were shattered. Large pieces of stone were laying across the grass. One of the broken stones had been broken in half horizontally. From the break, a large Shade was pulling itself from the stone. As it pulled itself out, it slowly formed its shadowy body into a large humanoid shape.
            Quickly grabbing his belongings, Momotaro crawled sideways into the woods. He wanted to put a few more feet between himself and that thing. He shoved himself under a large bush. Out of breath, Momotaro pulled a Transporter Ring out of his bag. He was glad he had confiscated the Ring from his father, but not glad that he had used it to get here on the same night the Shade arrived. Pushing it onto his finger with a shaking hand, the Ring glowed green. Forcing himself to concentrate, he closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing. Then he heard the worst thing possible: slow heavy foot steps. The Shade had sensed Momotaro quicker than he had thought it would. Trying to focus on his home, Momotaro held the Ring to make sure it didn’t fall off his finger.
* * *
            “The Yomi Plain ...?” Naganori looked up. His long graying black hair fell slightly in his face. He swept it back quickly.
            “Exactly,” said Shinya, nodding. “That was my reaction.”
            Naganori looked back down at the map spread across the polished wooden table. There had once been a town there: Shimizu. Now Shimizu, like the rest of the Yomi Plain, was abandoned. No one had lived there since the end of the Yomi Rebellion. This was the rebellion of the peasants that lived in Yomi province against their provincial government.
            According to what Shinya had heard in the nearest towns, Kenji, a foolish politician in the government of the Yomi province, had been forcing people from the Inaka territory to move into the currently uninhabited Yomi Plain. This was disturbing for many people; they couldn’t believe that anyone would consider moving people that close to the Ancient Wall.
            It took Naganori a moment or two before he was able to remember what he had learned about what happened with the Ancient Wall on the Yomi Plain; so much had happened back then that Naganori sometimes had trouble keep it all from blending together. There are naturally occurring Borders between the Shade and Mortal Realms. The Yomi Plain contains one of them. To mark this boundary, and to keep it closed, the Elders built the Ancient Wall several millennia ago. This is a long chain of large standing stones. Part way through the Rebellion, some of the Wall had been severely damaged due to the fighting. Only a part of the Wall had been rebuilt. The work had not been finished. The Yomi Plain had to be abandoned after the Rebellion because of strange occurrences with the broken Wall. Shades, and more unpleasant things, were able to come through the broken Wall. All of this had ended roughly thirty years ago.
            “Sir?”
            Naganori twitched as Shinya’s voice broke into his thoughts. He looked up. Naganori could not figure out the look on Shinya’s face. It could have been pity. Puzzlement was also a possibility. For a few months, Naganori wondered if the young woman thought he was losing his mind. He studied her for a moment. Shinya’s darker features looked out of place compared to the lighter features of most of the people who lived in the cities. She was also thinner and shorter. Her hair was thick, but it wasn’t rough or wild. Naganori felt like Shinya’s complete opposite whenever he was next to her.
            Shinya continued with what she was saying about the stories the nomadic groups told her. “The strange occurrences started about three weeks ago. Nomadic groups, who were moving their herds through the Yomi Plain, reported that they saw Shades crossing the Border into the Mortal Realm. The nomads also saw people building housing structures near the Yomi Plain. None of the nomads were able to identify the builders. When the builders reported the nomads lingering around, who were obviously trying to learn what the builders were doing, the government designated a new route for them--”
            “And now Kenji is moving the Inaka people to that very same area. I knew he wanted to use their land, but I didn’t realize he wanted it badly enough that he would move them to someplace like the Yomi Plain. Do you have any idea how the Shades are crossing the Border?” Naganori turned away from the map, leaned his back against the polished wooden table, and met Shinya’s eyes as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
            “Yes, but I’ve only heard rumors. I’ve been told privately by a few of the townspeople that they’ve heard a woman named Yuki has been seen close to the Ancient Wall. A few days later, the townspeople would find the part of the Ancient Wall she was close to partially broken down. I’ve tried to find someone named Yuki who was known to use magic; I was unable to. In one book, I did find a story that there was an unnamed noble woman who was exiled a few years ago for practicing evil magic. The book implied that the noble woman may have been leading other people. I do not know if this was before or after her exilement. If she has followers, they are very likely still helping her. ”
            “Yuki ...” Naganori said to himself. A moment later he asked Shinya if she knew where Yuki was going, or what Yuki was planning.
            “I have no idea where the townspeople got the name Yuki. But, it seems Yuki is following the Ancient Wall to Shimizu. I have no idea why she would be going there. I believe she is dismantling large parts of the Wall to absorb more magical power. Being built by the Elders several millennia ago, the Wall has a large amount of ancient and powerful magic. Yuki cannot possibly destroy all of the Wall--that would take too much time and magical power to do her any good. It is more likely Yuki is only dismantling the parts of the Wall she could absorb for personal power.”
            Naganori looked down. If Yuki is allowed to continue to level the Wall, the Shades, and whatever else, will be able to cross the Border more easily. It would still be hard for the Shades to cross the Border if some of the Wall was still standing. The damage caused by the denizens of the Shade Realm could be devastating.
            “Then it is a good idea to stop her.”
            “Naturally.” A wry smile was on Shinya’s face.
            “Find out anything else about Yuki and anything from the Shade Realm that might help her or come across for its own motives. I will continue looking for clues to Kenji’s plan of moving the Inaka people.” Shinya inclined her head slightly. She quietly left the room.
* * *
            Two days later, Naganori stood at the window in his study. For a long time he had just stared blankly out of the window, thinking. He didn’t know how long he had stood there. When he finally come out of his thoughts, Naganori realized how exhausted he was. It felt like he had been standing there for hours. The setting sun cast everything in deeper colors and gave everything longer shadows. Naganori slowly went over that day’s events. Shinya had brought him more news that morning. A young boy, Momotaro, had almost been attacked by a Greater Shade while Naganori and Shinya had been talking.
            Naganori thought he knew who this Shade was: Toki. Its name was still known in many of the Realms. Toki had been one of the Shades that had given the Living so many problems, especially during the Yomi Rebellion. Yuki had obviously destroyed enough of the Wall that it was easier for Toki to leave the Shade Realm. The Shade was most likely Toki because the Yomi Plain had been the Shade’s favorite spot to visit during the Yomi Rebellion. Naganori and Shinya had suspected that the Yomi Plain was some how important to Toki. Neither of them was able to prove that, though.
            Naganori let out a heavy sigh. His eyes slid from the window and landed on the floor. Naganori rubbed his face. For the first time in a long while, he realized how little he had been shaving. His face was rough but not hairy yet. The attack had brought back memories Naganori had not even realized he still had. The Yomi Rebellion ... the seemingly endless battles ... seeing things and doing things anybody would want to forget. After the Rebellion, the government had rewarded him a house, servants, and other nice things. He felt guilty that he should be rewarded like that when most of the other people who fought were given nothing.
            Naganori cursed under his breath. He deeply wished he did not have to do it all over again. For a long time Naganori had known it would start again. The knowledge had been shoved deep down so he would not have to deal with it. There was no going back, he knew.
            He looked out of the window again. The sun had gone down even lower. His study was cast in deeper shadows. He could see his reflection slightly in the window. Leaning closer, he studied himself in the window. He had changed a great deal after the Yomi Rebellion. Naganori had never consciously realized that before. His eyes were shadowed. Faint scars covered most of his face. He had always been surprised about how well they had healed. Naganori had thought he would be disfigured. He knew he was not as fit or thin as he used to be. Naganori had allowed himself to be lazy about his training. Now he may not be able to perform his duty.
            He turned from the window and walked past the polished wooden table with the map still spread across it. He would put it up later. Reaching the door, Naganori went down the stairs. Naganori’s hair fell into his face again. He naturally shook it back. One of the female servants had nagged him to let her cut it a few days ago. He had refused. His increasing apathy depressed him even more. Naganori could not be apathetic or depressed now; at least not outwardly.
            Naganori would find Shinya and tell her to get his things together. He wanted to question Momotaro and do whatever else was necessary. Shinya had said the boy lived in a small village. It was common knowledge that villagers found strangers very untrustworthy. Naganori knew this from boyhood trips to villages as well. This meant he would have trouble getting the boy away from his guardians. The boy may not even trust Naganori.
            He left the stairs, crossed the hall, and entered the dining hall. As expected, Shinya was already down there. She was sitting at the dining table and looked up expectedly as Naganori entered. Her chin was resting in her thin hand. Naganori knew what he had to do. “I would like to question the boy, Momotaro. I will need your help. You remember the ways of the villages better than I do.” Shinya had grown up in a village and lived there for several years.
            Shinya nodded. “The boy will need someone to explain what happened. I am sure the villagers will not explain it to him. Most of the villagers are able to remember what the Shades have done in the past. Of course, that does not mean anyone is willing to explain to the boy what happened, or what it means.”
            “Yes. I remember,” Naganori said vaguely. “I need you to prepare--”
            “I already have, sir. I hoped you would go.”
            Naganori held Shinya’s gaze for a few moments. Then his eyes slid to the floor. “What else is there for me to do?” he whispered.
            Shinya opened her mouth. Naganori interrupted before she could speak.
            “We will leave as soon as possible. If you have not gotten prepared then you need to do so.”
            Shinya quickly closed her mouth and nodded. Naganori turned. As he went back to his study, he made a mental list of everything he wanted to take. Memories of previous trips came back. In the end, it always seemed to him that he knew what he had to do.
 
Revision Account
 
            I first wrote this story about three years ago. I took the characters’ names from another story I wrote. The characters from both stories have little in common. They mainly share things like being in the same fantasy world. I may try to connect the stories, like having something similar to “One More Time” happen to the characters from the story I didn’t turn in.
            I really liked sharing “One More Time” the class. It was helpful to get feedback from so many people. Reading it to the class helped me to explain and develop my story better. The class told me I needed to explain certain parts of my story so it would make more sense. I tried to explain how Yuki got power from the Ancient Wall. I also made the difference between the nomads and refugees and what was happening on the Yomi Plain with the people from Inaka more obvious. I decided to not use the word refugees. I changed it to the word people. I also tried to explain how Shinya learned stuff and why Naganori thought it Toki who came out of the Ancient Wall.
            The class suggested that I change Shinya to a woman. At first, I wasn’t sure if I should do that. I was use to thinking of Shinya as a man. I thought change Shinya to a woman would be hard for me to do. The class said changing Shinya to a woman would be helpful because there would be one less male character to keep up with. I did eventually change Shinya to a woman.
           Another thing I tried to do was to vary my word choice. For example, instead of using destroy, I used other words with similar meanings.