LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Poetry Submission 2005
Amy Harkins
I Walk Alone
Darkness comes, and I
I will walk alone...
Everyday is a new day
More prudent from moments unknown
In search of one's journey
But I walk alone.
Even though time elludes
Visions of you often appear
Along with fertile scents which preludes
All my heart holds dear.
It's moments like these
Your voice echoes with enlightment
Of cherished memories
And you unspoiled when last I dreamt
So your presence I wait to come
But still I walk alone.
Introductions were made already, but I was not in class to share with you all a brief introduction of myself. My name is Amy Harkins and I'm taking Creative Writing to improve expressional ideals. I hope that throughout this course, what I express with poetry, fiction, and drama writings are perceived to be one of the same.
In addition, I have greatly appreciated Devon's in class response to my poetry assignment and would like Audra's on line responses as well. As it is known, there is always room for improvement, so I appreciate you both sharing all of your suggestions.
My original idea for the poetry assignment was to submit something already in my collection. However, after moments of "writer's block" the thought of coming to terms with the death of my grandmother through a poem was much more appealing. Even though it could have been constructed in such a way that you would automatically know who this was written about, I wanted to write in a more general form and leave you with your own images or personal accounts.
I Walk Alone was meant to be a bold statement. Throughout the poem each stanza with these three words stands to represent the title. For any redundancy, I walk alone symbolizes the way into this world and the way out.
The overall intent to be poised and still reflect emotional attachment by the use of past and present verbs. For instance, I will, I do, and still will have my own path to walk. My grandmother's walk is represented in all of the ways her life impacted mine.
Several examples are in the way I'm reminded so easily of her presence. The stanza, 'visions of you often appear', is used metaphorically. No, she isn't a ghost per say, but it does spook me out with the way I look so similar in the mirror. Also, the stanza, 'along with fertile scents', describes how every so often, I can smell her in the air. Furthermore, the stanza, 'your voice echoes with enlightenment', was written not to depict me schizo, but to know - oh that's what she meant by (such and such) in my life's lessons.
I miss her, but I loved her even more. She had a long lived life, and I hope the same for each of you.
Please find below the draft and comments made.
I Walk Alone
By Amy Harkins
Darkness comes, and I
I will walk alone...
Everyday is a new day
More prudent from moments unknown
In search of ones' journey
But... I walk alone
Even though time elludes
Visions of you often appear
Along with fertile scents which preludes
All my heart holds dear
It's moments like these
Your voice echoes with enlightment
Of cherished memories
And you unspoiled when last I dreamt
Your presence I wait to come
But still I walk alone
From: Xsis2020@aol.com Add to Address Book
Date: Sun, 20 Feb 2005 22:11:53 EST
Subject: Re: Lit
To: amymp1@yahoo.com
CC: whitec@uhcl.edu
I really enjoyed your poem. i like the way you introduce the poem with a couplet, then close with a couplet. i think it really adds to the effect of being alone. You use grandiose language, if that is the right word, but you use it throughout the poem as not to sound off (like mine did)! The poem almost sings...going from happy to sad...combining the senses "visions of you" and "fertile scents". I really like the line "and you unspoiled when last i dreamt" because it is so true and beautifully worded ( I wish I had thought of it!). I like your use of slant rhyme and regular rhyme (can't think of a better technical term) int he second stanza "day" and "journey", "come" and "alone" (last couplet). A couple of things threw me off...the first couplet "Darkness comes and I...i walk alone"---did you want the two "I's" there? perhaps for emphasis to create a stuttering, thoughtful, maybe dramatic effect. The first time I read it, it threw me off, but the more I read it the more I like it. Also, the use of eludes and preludes in the second stanza is weird. It definitely sounds pretty...are you talking about time eluding you, or how time eludes the situation, the memory? Preludes just doesn't seem right, although it also sounds pretty. I had to look it up in the dictionary to try and figure it out. My crappy little webster's said that it means "preliminary to a larger work", which doesn't seem like the only definition.
Anyways...I thought that you might be able to replace it with "Along with fertile scents, which lead me to/ All my heart holds dear". Preludes seems to interrupt what you are saying, but maybe my definition just doesn't encompass its full meaning. I dunno, but I really love your poem...its sad and sweet at the same time, as most memories tend to be.