LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Poetry Submission 2005
Micah Goff
Final
Draft
A
Simple Sonnet
A
simple sonnet cannot capture,
With
word or rhythmic rhyme,
The
depth of heartfelt rapture,
In
the morning of our time,
The
warmth of daylight breaking,
Still
present when apart,
Tenfold
and ever-waking,
In
stillness of the heart,
At
rest or in the rising,
As
twilight hour fades,
This
chasm’s aggrandizing,
Dissolves
at light of day,
For
lips may barely whisper of wellsprings in the heart,
Before you look inside me and cast your maker’s mark.
Draft
1
A
sonnet cannot capture
with
word or rhythmic rhyme
the
depth of heartfelt rapture
in
the morning of our time
The
warmth at daylights breaking,
still
present when apart
tenfold
and ever waking
in
stillness of the heart
at
rest or in the rising,
as
twilights hour fades
this
chasms aggrandizing
dissolves
at light of day
for
lips may barely whisper of wellsprings in the heart,
before
you look inside me and cast your maker’s mark.
GERM
A
sonnet cannot capture,
with
word or rhythmic rhyme
the
depth of heartfelt rapture
in
the morning of our time.
In
sentimental reasons,
at
the very thought of you,
the
songbird changes seasons
with
notes both strange and true
Account
of Development
In
the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and not me.
That is to say, writing this poem was a bit more difficult than I thought
it would be. I chose to write a traditional sonnet because it seemed
challenging, and the majority of the class had submitted free verse poetry. I
also chose the sonnet because I intended the poem to be a Valentine’s gift and
was quite certain that my laborious linguistic effort would be appreciated much
more than a generic card purchased from my local grocer. By choosing the sonnet,
I forced myself to commit to a prescribed rhyme scheme, which was interesting
and challenging because I like structure about as much as a fat kid likes
wearing husky pants. At first, my intention was to craft a response to a very
famous sonnet in which the opening line would have been, “I shall not compare
thee to a summer’s day”; however, this did not strike me as a very prudent
endeavor, so I chose to pursue a slightly more original line of thought. For me,
sonnets are almost always about love, or at least the more memorable ones are,
so I did not deviate from that theme in the creation of my poem.
It
was important for me to attempt the usage of various literary devices throughout
the poem. For instance, in the opening lines I chose to use alliteration by
employing phrases like simple sonnet, with word, and rhythmic
rhyme. I employed slant rhyme by pairing fades with day and heart
with mark. I also tried to create a poem that had a very definite meter,
almost to the point of being cadenced, without falling victim to a hokey
sing-song rhythm.
I
emailed a draft of the poem to a few of the other writers participating in our
workshop and received assuring comments concerning the piece. As a result of the
conversations I shared, it seemed unnecessary to do a major overhaul; however,
it did seem that the poem would be significantly improved by switching from the
plural form to the singular form in a couple of spots. There were also a few
questions concerning usage, particularly in reference to the words rapture
and aggrandizing. Nevertheless, I chose not to revise because I like the
way the word rapture conveys the idea of being lifted up and carried away. The
word aggrandizing also seemed very fitting and appropriate to me, so I
respectfully declined the advice.
I
guess the real question is, “What is the poem about?”
Well, love, I guess. I wanted to capture the way people feel at the very
beginning of a relationship, before you even begin to notice the water that
flows beneath the bridge. I tried to describe the way it feels to sleep so
closely next to someone that you have difficulty knowing where you begin and
they end. I hoped only to capture something true—something that was a fair
representation of what love may feel like for any particular person at any
particular time.