LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Poetry Submission 2005

Andrea Cox

Teddy Bear

To you from me:

“This letter must be brief; so

I’ll not share with you my grief.

I sent you this teddy bear for the entire world to see;

It’s filled with love that comes from inside of me.

As we watch the same sunsets-although alone;

Please pray for my safe trip home.

In those times when you’re lonely and I am not there,

Here’s a gift to replace your despair.”

From me to you:

“Sometimes I want to hate you yet don’t know why,

but now you’re not here and I want to cry.

I know I can be bitchy and I can be blue,

I certainly am moody and always blame you.

Knowing this letter may never get there;

I will always cherish my loving teddy bear.”

 IT’S…

Guaranteed to listen and to understand,

Guaranteed to be there with a touch of my hand,

Guaranteed to absorb all of my tears,

Guaranteed to relieve all of my fears,

Guaranteed to never turn away,

Guaranteed to be there night and day.

“For all those times while you are over there,

I will hold on tight to my loving teddy bear.”

The poem Teddy Bear was originally written in 1993 for the purpose of entertainment. It was published at MCC for student’s enjoyment and some of my other pieces were printed in two newspapers the same year for the soldiers of Desert Storm.  The original was not in this format and was quite different from what is read here. (See below for original).  After reading Teddy Bear to the class and sending it to Audra (online student); with the students and Dr. Whites input I have made the necessary changes that were suggested.

I had a real problem with using past and present tense within the same stanza. Therefore I revised the poem to be all the same tense. A suggestion was brought up about moving the words It’s to the far left to match To you from me; from me to you.  The poem looks more organized and creative this way-it was an excellent suggestion. The key to writing I have found out is to change the poem to fit the suggestions of the readers. They (the readers) know what they are seeing and are not bias toward the work. 

Audra was sent all forms of this poem. After four times going form the original piece to the revised work that was read in class she stated, “Great poem! I think the revision is quite nice. I like the layout of the poem much better with the separations. It makes them more distinct from each other without taking away from the flow of the poem.  There are several spots in the poem that have great alliterations as well. I think you are on the right track and don’t notice much that you need to work on”.

My Teddy Bear

Here is a Teddy Bear for all to see;

Filled with love from inside of me.

In those times that I am not there,

Mr. Teddy will take away all the despair.

Sometimes you hate me and I don’t know why,

But my teddy bear is always there when I cry.

I can be bitchy; I can be blue,

I can be moody and I always blame it on you.

So for all the times that you are not there

Filled with love is my teddy bear.

Guaranteed to listen and to understand,

Guaranteed to be there with the touch of my hand,

Guaranteed to absorb all of my tears,

Guaranteed to relieve all of my fears,

Guaranteed to never run away,

Guaranteed to be there night and day.

“For all those times when you are not there,

I hold on tight to my loving teddy bear.”