LITR 3731 Creative Writing

Online Student 2005

Report for class week of March 21.

Dr. White,

This is my report for the class week of March 21st.

Responding to Webpage

The fiction pieces continue to amaze me. I like Bonnie’s piece, I couldn’t wait to see what happened to Lucy’s “fat” face and hoped that her boss would get what was coming to him, but I guess that comes in a later chapter.  

Communicating with online student

Wow, Devon definitely covered what was talked about in class. I thought it was nice for Devon to give statements in class as well as her take on things. It really helped to get and idea of how my fellow peers feel about things and look at a piece of writing. I agree with the statements that Devon made about the happy ending and the feeling of closure it tends to give a reader. Where as a sad or ugly ending leaves the reader wondering what is going to happen and there is no closure.

My Work in Progress

I don’t want to give away the ending yet, I am still trying to decide how to work it in a way that makes sense and flows well. But here is what I have now. I have a feeling that after I complete the story I will have to go back and take out some of the dialect, so it doesn’t seem like I’m rambling on and on. I plan on finishing the fiction piece today and sending it out to be critiqued by my peers.

Memories

June enjoyed her morning ritual, at exactly 5:45 a.m.  she woke up, put on her fluffy, red terrycloth robe, raised all the curtains to let the maximum amount of sunlight into the house, and went to the kitchen to prepare lunches for her family.

After the hustle and bustle of the early morning was over and everyone was off for the day, June fixed herself a large cup of Chi latte and went out onto the back deck to take in some of the country weather and wildlife before beginning her busy schedule. She always kept 3 bird feeders and 2 squirrel feeders stocked and loved watching them flutter and scamper around in the morning breeze.

This particular morning June was giggling at the squirrels chasing each other in the trees above her when the phone rang. A quaint smile came across June’s lips; she already knew who it was. Three nights ago a young man had come to their home to ask June and Dustin for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Mabel had left for college three years ago and quickly fell in love with Dan. June and her husband knew it would only be a matter of time before the two of them would be sharing a life together. The night Dan had visited he had shared his plans to pop the question on the upcoming Sunday night, so when Monday rolled around June expected to get a call from a very excited Mabel. 

Before June could even get out a greeting she heard a very ecstatic voice on the other end, “Mom, you will never believe what news I have for you!”

“What news is that, honey?” June answered, knowing good and well what news Mabel had, but not wanting to ruin her moment.

Quickly Mabel responded, “Well, last night Dan surprised me with a candle light picnic at the city park. He had a quilt for us to sit on, soft music coming from his pickup, and after we ate we danced in the moonlight for hours. Mom, it was so romantic…”

June was so excited for her daughter, but as Mabel continued to share her perfect evening, June just couldn’t help but let her mind drift off to the night her first love, Paul, had dropped to one knee and asked for her hand in marriage. Paul knew how much June loved nature, and had planned a romantic weekend camping in the mountains. They drove the short trip to the cabin he had rented and quickly unpacked their things to allow for enough time for a stroll through the woods. June remembered being so surprised that Paul knew her so well to bring her to such a perfect weekend destination. As June continued to fall back into the memory she could almost smell the sweet mountain breeze that surrounded them as they had walked that evening.

All of a sudden a flash of horror came over June’s face and she gasped, but was quickly brought back to reality.

“Mom! Mom? Are you there? Hello, Mom? What’s going on?” Mabel questioned.

“Nothing, honey. I’m fine. Now tell me more about your wonderful night with Dan.” June assured.

Mabel continued her story, but June wasn’t fine. Her mind quickly drifted off again, not to the wonderful weekend she had been thinking of before, but instead to the terrible night that often haunted her dreams. June and Paul had been dating for three years and engaged for six months when she began to notice a change in Paul. The kind, sincere, man she had fallen in love with had become quite defensive every time June tried to talk to him. As her memories became more vivid, June felt the same disturbing feeling in her gut as she had the night it all came to a climax, and June began to cry.

“Mother, I know you are not fine! Tell me what is going on? Is it Dan or the engagement? Mom, just be honest with me, what is going on?” a concerned Mabel pleaded.

June had almost forgot she was holding the phone, “Honey, I am so excited for you and Dan. I know you are going to have a wonderful life together and…”

“Mom, don’t try to pull one over on me. I can tell you are upset, so spill” Mabel said indignantly.

June knew she wasn’t going to get out of this conversation without telling her daughter the truth.

“Mabel, do you think you can come over and we will talk about this over some coffee?” June asked.

“I’ll be right there.” Mabel said as she hung up the phone.

Thirty minutes later, Mabel was sitting at the kitchen table looking eagerly into her mother’s face waiting to hear what had upset her so much on the phone.  June knew she had to tell Mabel the truth, so she began her story. 

“Mabel, you know your father wasn’t’ my first love, right?” June asked.

“Of course, you have told me about Paul, the man you were engaged to before Dad, but he died in a car wreck, right? Is that what this is all about?” Mabel questioned.

“Well, I was not completely honest with you. I have never shared with you the whole story.” June stated.  June began to tell Mabel about the change in attitude that had come over Paul, and the confusion and disturbances she constantly felt.  She continued to tell Mabel that she had told Paul she could not love a man who acted the way he did and broken off the engagement. June paused as her mind continued to wonder deeper and deeper into the awful memory. 

“Mabel, I killed him!” June blurted out. She looked up only to see a surprised and doubtful expression on her daughters face.

“What?” Mabel finally said.

So June began to tell Mabel everything else that took place the night she broke off her engagement with Paul.

“Paul was really mad when he left the house and I began to worry about him so I left to go look for him.” June continued.

June remembered every detail of that night, she continued to tell Mabel how she looked for Paul at his apartment, his favorite bar, his parents house, but never could find him.

“And then it happened…” June began to cry. “I had given up on finding him and decided to go home and try calling him in the morning after he had time to cool off. Mabel, I was really upset and I guess I wasn’t paying enough attention to the road.” By this time June was sobbing so hard Mabel could hardly understand her mother.

“Mabel, all of a sudden something was in the middle of the road and I didn’t see it in time. It was Paul. I hit him with my car and he died instantly.” June finished.

There was a long pause as Mabel looked deeply into her coffee mug, as if there was a hidden message inside.

“Mother”, Mabel said, “Why are you telling me this now?”

June looked at her daughter and in a meek voice, she said, “Because I had always promised myself I would tell you who your real father was before you were walked down the aisle.” 

Mabel didn’t know what to think, was her mother serious. Dustin, the man she loved and called dad, was not her real father? 

“Mom, does Dad know about this? Why are you telling me this now?” asked Mabel.

“Yes, Dad knows about Paul and he knows I am telling you. I thought you needed to know who you really were to carry into your new life with Dan.” June said hesitantly. 

She knew it was just another lie. The whole truth was that Paul….