LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Journal / Portfolio Sample Submission 2005

Devon Kitch

Introduction

Creative writing has been an amazing experience, both inside and outside of class.  We started the year by staring blankly at one another, wondering if we could actually expose our writing to the foreign eyes on the other side of the room.  The first day of poetry seemed a bit strained, but we gradually grew to trust each other and value most of our class mates opinions.  I, for one, was terribly afraid of letting someone else read my writing because the contents can be so personal.  I chose to present a poem rather than fiction, because it is the genre I am most comfortable with.  I had never written fiction or drama, but was happy to be forced into it. 

            This journal/portfolio reflects my success and shortcomings, as all aspects of life tend to have a little bit of both.  By starting the semester with poetry, I was able to ease myself into the water, test the temperature, and discover that it was time to jump in.  Had we started with fiction or drama I feel that I would have held onto my fear for a bit longer, prolonging my discomfort in the class.  Writing fiction was one of the hardest things I had to do, which surprised me since I fancy myself a pretty good reader.  Reading is so much easier than creating the story and I now have much more respect for authors.  Drama also did not come easy for me because it was similar to writing fiction, but with mostly dialogue to drive the plot. 

            Throughout the course of the semester, I really began to notice the different styles and techniques that characterized each author.  Personally, I can’t find any parallels between my writings.  The poem reflected my past and present friendships, the fiction represented the sci-fi lover in me, and the drama was supposed to sum up the year and make everyone laugh. 

            Previous to this class I had no formal experience with creative writing, which made every aspect of this class a learning experience.  I was terrified to register for the class; in fact, I forced myself to sign up.  I knew that it would be good for me, like broccoli to a kid; and once you take a bite you realize that it’s not so bad after all.  My drafts and final submissions demonstrate my progress in the course, while the accounts of each will hopefully convey my feelings toward the topics.  It is yet to be seen what will come of this course, my life with and without writing, but I do know that I have come away from this experience with a new confidence in others and myself.  It has been a process of revision and rethinking, of throwing out the archaic words and adding the modern.  I struggle with the realization that the work is ultimately written for the reader, and though I may meticulously choose each word with care, the words are useless if they do not reach the audience.  I have also realized that you can never truly complete a piece of writing.  Like Dr. White mentioned after my drama presentation, our previous reading and experiences (the other drama presentations) shape what we do.  I wrote my drama with bits and pieces of the other student’s work.  Likewise, the poems I wrote in high school seem horrible now that I have gotten older, or rather, since I have more experiences to draw from.  The things in life that seemed important have become trivial tidbits of my past. 

            However, as a future high school English teacher, I believe that it is important to ever so often remember those seemingly trivial tidbits and revisit those memories for the sake of our students.  It is imperative that, although we have moved past those times, we do not belittle their experiences.  After all, someday they will build upon our teachings and build memories that will shape their lives and identities.  

My Draft Exchange

Author’s report on draft exchange process (2-3 paragraphs)

The draft exchange process went smoothly with every thanks to Lindsay.  She actually contacted me, asking if I would read her piece.  I didn’t forget about the draft exchange, I just thought I had more time to complete it.  Lindsay e-mailed me her story and I sent her what little I had of mine.  Then, I e-mailed Audra, told her how sorry I was not to have responded to her story more quickly and begged her to respond to mine.

Lindsay replied to my story a couple of days later, giving some good advice.  She was encouraging and supportive and understood what I wanted the story to imply.  I have since thought about taking it a different direction, but these things remain to be seen.  Lindsay’s part in the draft exchange was generous, to say the least.  She even offered to read the rest of it when I wrote more, which was really nice.  I was afraid the subject matter would be a little too weird for most people, but she was open to my ideas.

Audra didn’t give me much advice, but I was a bit last minute.  Perhaps she was mad at something I said about her story, but I don’t think so!  She did give me a couple of helpful tips that I put to good use and she was very prompt. 

First reader’s feedback: (include name +-ID of 1^st reader; 1-3 paragraphs?)

  Lindsay Niemann sent an amazing amount of feedback and advice.  She recommended that I continue to use the first person present tense for Emma’s dream sequence because it seems more realistic.  She liked the first dream because it tells the reader a little bit about the character.

Lindsay guessed that the explosion in Emma’s dream, was a real explosion, a real experience that landed her in a coma.  At the time, that was the main direction I had intended to take; therefore, Lindsay’s reaction was exactly what I wanted the reader to think. 

She suggested that in order to keep the readers’ attention and interest, I should continue to reveal the character through her dreams, adding in bits and pieces of her with each dream.

Second reader’s feedback: (include name +-ID of 2^nd reader; 1-3 paragraphs?)

 Audra Caldwell probably had a lot of work on her hands with all the draft exchanges!  She helped with my explanation of how Emma dreams, or rather, the repetitiveness I had in my description.  I went ahead and deleted the sentence that caused the biggest problem.  She mostly had questions about where the story was going and what I intended, which was understandable since I only gave her a couple of pages to read. 

(Optional:) Feedback from additional readers: (1-3 paragraphs each?)

  I had my significant other read the beginning of my very first draft and the only thing he told me was that it was intense.  Intense seems like a good thing to me, but perhaps it isn’t. 

Author’s final comments on outcomes, lessons of draft exchange: (2-3 paragraphs)

  I enjoyed doing the draft exchanges and I actually wish that I would have done more.  I want to continue working on my story, developing the characters and plot.  I suppose that my unspoken (until now) dream is to write some sort of sci-fi/ futuristic novel or short story.  I have always been drawn to science fiction and my dreams give me some pretty bizarre inspiration!  Plus, the field is dominated by men and it would be fun to create something that could compete with them.

Lindsay was helpful and encouraging, which made me feel good.  Audra’s response was so brief that it left me feeling a little hopeless.  I’m sure it was unintentional, but I read too much between the lines.  It was nice to get one negative and one positive review.  If the opinions were not varied, then it would feel like superficial niceties. 

Peer review really helped me shape the rest of my piece, but it would have benefited me more if I had done it sooner.  Next time I take this class, I will try and be better about doing peer review!  When something scares me, I tend to put it off.  Well, writing fiction scared me, which inevitably made me put off peer review!

Draft Exchanges outside of my own

Until this semester I was not fond of draft exchanges or peer review.  I suppose I viewed it with the same fear that almost scared me away from creative writing to begin with.  By doing draft exchanges in this class, I realized that they are nothing to be feared because they help more than they hurt.  If a student notices an element that does not work for them, they politely tell you to change it, usually giving suggestions and alternatives. 

            The first draft exchange I participated in was for Amy’s poetry submission.  She wrote a beautiful poem about her grandmother, though I did not know it was about her grandmother until she discussed it in class.  I liked her use of the senses to convey her feelings and paint the portrait of her grandmother.  A few parts confused me and I addressed my confusion in the e-mail I sent to her.  Namely, several of her word choices didn’t seem to fit what she was trying to say, a problem I had faced when writing and revising my own poem. 

            I started by telling her everything that worked for me, everything that I really liked.  Then, I focused on the few parts that troubled me and hindered my reading.  Don’t get me wrong, the poem was very pretty and the words flowed beautifully, but some of the meanings just didn’t seem right.  I didn’t think that the use of “alludes” and “preludes” seemed quite right (See the Appendix for my response).  And, given my own inhibitions with allowing others to read my work, I was somewhat leery of doing the peer review, but I figured we were all here to get help and improve.  I typed my response, mailed it to her, and was met with a hint of anger that disappointed me.  She defended every word with the strength of a brick wall.  By the time she presented, she hadn’t changed a word, leading me to believe that she probably wouldn't change anything.  We never discussed it in person, so perhaps our words were misconstrued, leaving us both a bit upset. 

Online Student

My interaction with our online student was extremely limited.  Unfortunately I did not talk to Audra any more than I had to.  One of many faults lies in the fact that I forget everything, including but not limited to, talking to students who are not physically in the classroom!  I sent her my extremely long account of one of our class days, which she probably did not completely read.  I don’t think I would have read the whole thing.  I didn’t know how thorough I was supposed to be, so I probably went a bit overboard.   

            Audra had e-mailed everyone her fiction piece and asked us if we had any advice for her.  I was late in responding to her, but I finally e-mailed her back with my comments and begged her to do a peer review of my fiction piece.  Since I was assuming the role of the ultimate procrastinator, I was greatly appreciative that she sent me her questions and comments on my fiction.  I know how tiring it can be to take care of a little one, especially if they don’t take naps, and she did not have to help me out. 

            It was neat having an on-line student, but I wish she could have been in class for our drama presentations.  We had so much fun and I really think she would have enjoyed the experience as well.  Someday, I suppose we would be able to set up some sort of webcam to accommodate the occasional on-line student.  However, even with a webcam, the workshop experience and interaction would not be the same as it was for those who attended the class.    

Poem Development and earlier drafts

I had honestly chosen to do a poetry presentation because I thought I could use one of the poems I had written in high school.  I found my blue spiral notebook, emblazoned with “Love Sucks” in swirling red paint, and began to read some of the poems.  After a couple of minutes of revisiting my period of teenage angst, I realized that I was not going to be able to use any of the poems because I am now a different version of Devon that can no longer relate to the Devon of sixteen and seventeen years old.  I began thinking about what I wanted to write about, what I could handle allowing the class to see. 

            I sat down at my mother’s house with good, old-fashioned pen and paper.  I wanted to write about my friendships, the girls I was closest to throughout high school.  I wanted to write about our changing relationships and the growing distance between us, both emotionally and geographically.  I wanted to write something that I could send with the Christmas presents that are still sitting on my nightstand. 

            The first version of my poem needed a lot of work, in fact, it hardly resembled the poem I presented in class and is completely different from the final draft.  The first words I wrote focused on a picture of the four of us, “Four eighteen year old girls,/ arm in arm, backs to the camera/ face the whirling sea/ Looking out into the expanse/ The horizon endless/ like life’s opportunity.”  I chose not to continue in that direction because it seemed strained.  The poem only centered on a single moment in time rather than the years of friendship we have shared. 

            I began again, deciding on the beginning that the poem currently has. 

Next draft: Friends, we are moving

            Apart in our lives.  Moving

                        Apart in our thoughts…Where once we were

                                    Inseparable.

Perhaps we can remain the same

            In memories our early years can truly

                        Be fossilized

                        Frozen

                        Forever.

Friendships evolve, subside, and remain

And though I try to refrain from changing

I wake up and find myself changed.

We will never truly relive our days

            Of drunken ex-boyfriend house wrapping

            The days when recklessness pervaded and elated

                        Our suburban lives.

But I feel that we will always search for those

            Times, those

            Feelings.  The newness

            Of life and love.

I miss you all as we were

            And as we are now.

Lost in the monotony   

            Busy with the business

                        Of what we deem important

We-the four that time cannot redress

            The four that must remain to tempt time’s test.

Between the first and final drafts of this poem I decided to use the lines to create the sense of moving apart while also describing the move with words.  I also added more insight into our experiences with the final draft, using slant rhyme and longer lines to speed up the poem and ultimately bring the friendship back together.  The poem begins with an obvious feeling of distance, but slowly builds to create a sense of rebirth; or, perhaps it is just a desperate plea for something that no longer exists.

            I made several changes after my presentation, changing some archaic words for simpler, more modern choices.  I have also reworked the ending over and over again, but I am still unsatisfied with the last few lines.  I had removed one of the references to “the four,” but chose to include them because they echo the title of the poem.  Next week I may change it again, but tonight I am keeping them.  I changed the ending from “We- the four that time cannot digress/ the four that must remain to tempt time’s test” to “We- the four, now acquaintances at best/ the four that must remain/ though less and less.”  I really liked the way the first version sounded, but Dr. White was right in that it sounded too archaic.  It did not match the language of the rest of the poem and, in comparison, seemed too positive.  The current ending resonates with the same despair as the beginning of the poem, bringing it full circle from wistful sadness, to brief happiness through memories, back to despair. 

            The poem has been changed many times, each time creating a different meaning.  Dr. White told me to think about what I wanted to say and try to say it.  As much as I didn’t want to admit it, the poem is a sort of goodbye to the days of “drunken ex-boyfriend house wrapping and last minute river rafting.” I believe Dr. White could sense that, thus the encouragement to focus on the ending and its revision.  I believe that I am getting closer to the perfect ending, but I am not there yet.  I will continue to work on “The Four” until it feels right.  

Fiction Development and earlier draft

But where do I begin?  That is the question I kept asking myself when I decided on an idea for my fiction piece.  I had never written fiction, but I have always wanted to try my hand at it.  Actually, the exposure to writing fiction was one of the incentives for taking the class; I needed to force myself to do it, or eventually live with the regret of not trying. 

            I immediately knew that I wanted to somehow write about my dreams.  I am plagued with horrible dreams about anything and everything that you can imagine.  They are so vivid that I have made myself stay awake for fear of going back to sleep and continuing the dream.  Dreaming is not typically a pleasant experience for me, which I hope my brief fiction piece is able to convey. 

            A story that is solely based on dreams would be boring, therefore, I chose to take a science fiction approach to the beginning of the story by creating a metallic environment filled with “pods” combined with the “infection” that swept the community.  I had originally planned on putting my character into a coma, but later decided that a sleep-inducing “infection” sent by another race/culture/being/corporation would make a better conflict.  I actually got my current idea from another dream I had while I was in the process of writing my fiction.  I don’t typically like having bazaar dreams, but they sure do help in the idea department.

            The original beginning was completely different, with more focus on present day events and realistic experiences (e.g. Coma).   

                        “As Fiona Apple says, ‘I don’t go to sleep to dream’.  Unfortunately for me, the dreams seek me out.  They find me in my most vulnerable state, these nightmarish dreams that supposedly profess your underlying desires and fears.  I do not, cannot, believe this.  My dreams, my thoughts, my fears are too disturbing.”

I wanted it to seem conversational, but there just wasn’t as much room for creativity by having a present day setting.  I decided a setting in a futuristic society that is similar to our own would give me a little bit more flexibility. 

            My second draft:

I don’t know how this happened, or when, but I do remember waking (or whatever you want to call it) from the worst dream I’d ever had.  I guess it’s like when you’re dreaming and you dream that you woke up, but you are still dreaming.  I know, it’s hard to explain.  I wake from my dreams, without physically waking.   Now that we have that out of the way, I’ll try to tell you about my dream. (Audra’s peer review helped me trim down the repetitiveness of this paragraph.)

In this dream I am driving my car down the road.  It wasn’t the car I drive now, but my first car, my civic.  I’m driving down a road that is bordered by power and chemical plants on both sides.  The gray, towering buildings loom over the freeway.  Suddenly, in one quick movement I feel a rumble, hear a deafening boom, and see the exploding red and orange flames gushing from the plants.  The tires on my car melt to the ground so quickly that I am thrown through the windshield.  My head hits the ground, melting my hair to the back of my head.  I get up and try to rundown the road.  The heat is unbearable, but I must find a phone.  I have to warn my husband and make sure he is okay.  My skin feels like it’s burning, everything around me resembles the hellish fires of Biblical proportions.  I see my Nanna, untouched by the flames, unharmed by the heat.  She is trying to tell me something, but I am preoccupied. I must find Julian.  (I changed a lot from the original draft.  I was just trying to get my thoughts on paper before I forgot them.  When I went back and put it into the computer, I put more thought into it.  I have since changed the piece a little bit more, but not too much.)

            The draft exchanges contained several questions about my direction and where the story seemed to be going.  This allowed me to really think about what I wanted to do with the story, whether the direction it seemed to be taking was accurate in regards to the direction I wanted it to take.  Lindsay got exactly what the story was saying, but she made me realize that I needed to add more information to take away from the “coma” idea.  I only had a couple of pages for her to read, but I was happy with her response. 

            I believe the current story has some strength in its descriptions of the dreams and the scenery. My peer review proved that my imagination produced a decent account of the events that she could also visualize.  The story needs some editing as my word choices do not always sound quite right.  The first paragraph has too many questions for the reader and I need to use more contractions.   There is little to no characterization and detail. 

My piece is relatively short, but it was intended to hint at several different possibilities and ideas that will all be addressed in later chapters.  I want the reader to be questioning everything and wondering what the story is about.  I suppose the entire first chapter will be a sort of “hook,” hopefully catching the reader’s curiosity and urging them to continue. 

Drama Development and earlier drafts/ideas

Drama.  Beyond that word I didn’t have a clue as to where I should go.  I thought fiction was going to be hard but drama was really hard for me.  I don’t know if the constraints of using the class setting with existing students made it harder or easier.  I suppose my desire to do something really different made it more difficult for me.  Everyone had such great ideas, I felt that I had to come up with something equally as good or better. 

            My first idea was to do the twentieth reunion of our creative writing class and I actually began writing it; however, it became bogged down once the students began telling what they had been doing for the past twenty years.

            Dr. White:  Well, here we meet again at the twentieth reunion of our creative writing class.  I’m glad that most of you were able to make it.  I’ll begin by going over the day’s agenda!

Bonnie: (to herself) Well, he hasn’t changed his routine much

(Dr. White goes through the agenda, as the reunited class listens)

Dr. White:  So, why don’t we begin by telling a little bit about what we have been doing since 2005…Jennifer, would you like to go first?

Jennifer:  Sure, I guess.  I have done pretty well for myself.  I just finished my twelfth book, Finola’s Fairies and it has already been sent to the printer.

Andrea:  And I helped proof read ALL twelve books!  They are awesome.  Just wait until you read Finola’s Fairies, you’ll see what I’m talking about!

Dr. white: Great, great.  Jamie, how have you been doing?

 I couldn’t think of a way to create conflict, there was no energy. 

            The day before my drama presentation, I sat down at the computer and began to type.  Everyone in the class seemed to have their own personal stereotypes in the dramas; for example, I was always wanting to leave early, Sherry was really nice, Bonnie was mean, and Daniel was super religious.  I thought it would be funny to create a drama where everyone in the class actually became the stereotypes they were portrayed as being in the earlier presentations.  Kind of like a twilight zone episode where everyone starts acting weird for no apparent reason.  In my drama, “Self-fulfilling Prophecy,” we started the class like any normal day, then the characters just begin to act out their parts from other plays and we never even get to perform my fictional drama.  Lindsay and Micah are the sane characters who catch on to what is happening, thus, when Dr. White tells them they can’t leave without a pass, they know exactly what to say to get what they want.  Unlike the other characters in the play, they knowingly play the part of little kids with tummy aches so that they can get out of the bazaar classroom. 

            I was nervous about my drama because I had included elements from several people’s work, but it was received better than expected.  I wish that the class would have had more feedback on ways to improve the piece, but I didn’t have any specific questions that I wanted them to address.  Also, the way I wanted it to be perceived and the way it was actually perceived by the class were a bit different.  I didn’t want the characters to begin as stereotypes, rather, I wanted them to become stereotypes due to self-fulfilling prophecy from the other dramas.  If you were to tell a kid that he is bad everyday, when he really isn’t, he may actually start behaving badly.  Likewise, if you tell Daniel he is super religious and annoying, he becomes annoying.  (Not really Daniel, but for the sake of explaining my drama, you have to be.)  My characters were becoming the characters in the other drama pieces.

            My concept sentence and them sentence were rather scant, but no one had any suggestions for improvement.  I am used to being overly wordy, but I guess short and sweet works sometimes.  I thought my theme sentence, “sometimes we behave the way we are expected to, and not the way we actually are, just like a self fulfilling prophecy,” summed up the drama fairly well. 

            In my revision, I was sure to add a bit of detail to set up the scene and give the readers and actors an idea of what to expect.  It hadn’t occurred to me before I presented, but it is there now!  As per class discussion, I also added more lines to demonstrate Sherry’s syrupy sweet attitude, to further the Bonnie/ Daniel conflict, to extract Alissa from the room, and to make Lindsay and Micah look like they knew what they were doing at the end.

Summary

This course has taught me a lot about creative writing, particularly that it is hard work.  I had assumed that I would be able to write with ease, but found that it is more difficult than I had ever imagined.  I am planning on obtaining my master’s in literature at UHCL and would love to continue my creative writing.  Eventually, I would like to petition to do a creative thesis and write a collection of works or a novel. 

            I believe that this course has helped eliminate my fears toward creative writing as a genre, as well as my fears regarding peer review.  You have to put your writing out there for others, or else you will never know what you can do or how you can improve.  We must all seem pretty hilarious because most of us think, “hey, I’d like to write a book” and most of us probably don’t even have the talent.  However, the good thing is that we can continue trying and improving and perhaps someday we will be published. 

            Having the author visit our class was a wonderful expereince.  She gave a lot of helpful advice and ancouragement regarding publication.  It was nice to hear from someone who has succeeded in the business, though I think she is an exception to the norm.  She found a niche that is largely uninhabited, Christian romance.  I know I would have loved to have books like that when I was in Christian school.

            Obviously, from my earlier summary of my poetry, it is the genre I am most comfortable with.  I have grown considerably and now know to write for my audience and choose words that they will understand and enjoy.  My poetry tends to get off track, using words that no one uses in their everyday speech. 

            I am going to be a high school English teacher, but would eventually love to teach at the college level.  I would love to use creative writing with my high school kids, but fear it is somewhat unrealistic outside of AP courses.  We could do things on a smaller level, but I wouldn’t expect the type of work we did this semester.  Creative writing would allow the students to express themselves, but it may be difficult to create the “safe” workshop setting that we had in our class.  We had a fabulous group that really seemed to get along. 

            I could not have asked for a better experience.  This class opened new doors and avenues for me, including my new goal of obtaining a master’s degree.  The class was fun and we were all different.  Each of us had our peculiarities and quirks, but it made for a nice spectrum of well-rounded people and opinions.  It would be boring if we were all carbon copies of one another.

            My fiction still needs lots of work, but I plan on getting to that in the near future, hopefully for that creative thesis if it is deemed “academic” enough.  I am happy with my drama, especially since I had so much difficulty with a topic or idea.  I think it would be fun to try and write drama, but I would have to do a bit more research in that area.  Lastly, I am actually proud of my poem and the way it was received by the class.  There were several people in the class whose positive opinions have encouraged me to revise and edit, never to be satisfied with the piece of work.  Like everything in life and especially my writing, we are all a work in progress!

APPENDIX—

E-MAILS

Devon,

I read your fiction and I love it! :) I'm into sci/fi & fantasy (if you couldn't tell).  I inherited it from my dad.  Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you should definitely finish it.  :)  I also make tons of notes and brainstorm on paper before I type anything so you're not alone!!

See ya Monday,

Jennifer

Hi Devon,

I received your story, but I have not had a chance to read it yet.  If it's
OK, I will let you know something by Wed. of this week. I think we have
until next Monday to do our exchange reports, at least that's the impression
I got in class today. Thank you for your feedback, it helps just having
another set of eyes look at it. I can send you more when I have more, but
I'm not sure what's going to happen next in the story yet. I will send you
some feedback Wed., and don't forget, we have to have two people look at our
stories so you need to find one more person to read your story.

Lindsay Niemann

Thanks for the great summary of class, Devon--felt like we were all back in there again! You can really pour out the words . . . . wait till your daughter starts talking back . . . .

Craig White

I thought this was hilarious, and such a nice way of saying, “gosh Devon, you really talk a LOT!”  Thanks, Dr. White…you made me laugh, even if you didn’t mean to!  (This was his reply in reference to my e-mail about class discussion to Audra.)

These were my questions about Micah’s fiction ( I was the respondent).  Excellent, extremely vivid fight scenes!

I only had a couple of questions for Micah...

1.)  I was wondering how Delbert could hold onto Frank's leg while his heel was simultaneously digging   into  his spine? 

2.)  Where did you get your inspiration, from personal experience?

3.)  Why was Delbert getting beat up?

4.)  I also commented that I would like to read more about the shower scene, or more specifically, the pain that would be caused by the water washing over open wounds.

This was my response to Amy’s poem (please excuse the errors, it was an e-mail!)

I really enjoyed your poem.  I like the way you
introduce the poem with a couplet, then close with a
couplet.  I think it really adds to the effect of
being alone.  You use grandiose language, if that is
the right word, but you use it throughout the poem as
not to sound off (like mine did)!  The poem almost
sings...going from happy to sad...combining the senses
"visions of you" and "fertile scents".  I really like
the line "and you unspoiled when last I dreamt"
because it is so true and beautifully worded ( I wish
I had thought of it!).   I like your use of slant
rhyme and regular rhyme (can't think of a better
technical term) in the second stanza "day" and
"journey", "come" and "alone" (last couplet).  A
couple of things threw me off...the first couplet
"Darkness comes and I...I walk alone"---did you want
the two "I's" there?  perhaps for emphasis to create a
stuttering, thoughtful, maybe dramatic effect. 
The first time I read it, it threw me off, but the
more I read it the more I like it.  Also, the use of
eludes and preludes in the second stanza is wierd.  It
definitely sounds pretty...are you talking about time
eluding you, or how time eludes the situation, the
memory?  Preludes” just doesn't seem right, although it
also sounds pretty.  I had to look it up in the
dictionary to try and figure it out.  My crappy little
Webster's said that it means "preliminary to a larger
work", which doesn't seem like the only definition. 
Anyways...I thought that you might be able to replace
it with "Along with fertile scents, whcih lead me to/
All my heart holds dear".  “Preludes” seems to interrupt
what you are saying, but maybe my defintition just
doesn't encompass its full meaning.  I dunno, but I
really love your poem...its sad and sweet at the same
time, as most memories tend to be.