LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Drama Submission 2005

Bonnie Napoli

April 18, 2005

Positive Reinforcement

Characters:

Devon

Sherry

Mary

Dr. White

Daniel

Karen

Jennifer

Micah

Lindsay

Concept Sentence: In the spirit of the creative writing class set-up an unprepared student presents a completely horrible poem she writes 5 minutes before class begins.  Very apparent the poem is beyond terrible, the student feels she is in the twilight zone because her fellow classmates are overly positive about her bad poem.

Students are in class waiting to begin the poetry presentations.  Devon is frantically writing a poem because her presentation is today.  The other students are super bubbly in a creepy way and over supportive when critiquing Devon’s work.

Devon: (To herself) Oh man!  I cannot believe I forgot to write a poem and my presentation is today!  This is going to be horrible and interesting all at the same time.  (Scribbles away)

Sherry:  (Overly excited turns to Devon and asks) Hey Devon!  Is today not the most beautiful day ever?  What are you doing?  Oh yeah, you’re presenting today, I cannot wait to hear your poem.  I know it will be great!

Devon:  (Without even lifting her head still scribbling away) Umm... don’t get your hopes up.

Mary:  (Listening) No way!  I’m sure it’s like the best poem ever!

Dr. White:  (Enters class and remains standing) Hello everyone!  Isn’t today such a great day?  I have to be honest, I have been looking forward to the poetry presentations all weekend!  Let’s just skip all the business and start.  I just know this is going to be great!  Devon is up first.   Are you ready?

Devon:  (Knowing her poem is horrible) Yeah, but let me first say it is totally a work in progress and I am very uncomfortable with the status of my poem.

Daniel: Devon, you really shouldn’t be so negative! 

Karen:  Devon, you’re crazy everyone knows it will be fantastic!

Jennifer:  Oh I can’t wait!  The anticipation is driving me crazy!

Devon: (With a weird look on her face because everyone is way too excited for no reason, she clears her throat and begins reading) Uh, okay... here it goes

Love and Hate

I love the way you walk

I love the way you talk

You are so cool

I love you so much I feel like a fool

We had a lot of fun

We had a nice run

But then you broke my heart

And my whole life fell apart

So now I hate the way you walk

I hate the way you talk

You are so un-cool

I hate you so much you’re the fool

Sherry: Oh my goodness!  Those words are magical!

Daniel: Words from heaven above!

Micah:  Yeah, poetry sucks but nothing compares to the inspiration your poem just gave me!  (Starts writing away in his notebook)

Lindsay:  Wow!  You should totally publish that in the Bayou Sphere!

Mary: Devon that is like seriously the best poem I have like ever heard in like my whole life.

Dr. White: Wow! I have to sit down, I am blown away by your piece!  Let’s open the floor to comments.  How does everyone else feel?  Anyone?

Daniel:  It is obvious Devon has the gift of writing within her.  You are so blessed to be able to have that talent.  Compared to your writing, all of my years dedicated to poetry seem so mediocre. 

Devon:  (Completely confused) Are you guys crazy?  This is the absolute worst thing ever written!

Dr. White: Now Devon, don’t be so hard on yourself.  What do we like about the poem?  I know everything in the writing is exceptionally fantastic but what do we really like?

 Karen:  Devon, your poem is fabulous.  Words cannot express how your poem has changed my life.

Jennifer:  I like contrast of love and hate.  That is so deep.

Mary:  Oh my gosh!  Jennifer, I was like totally thinking the same thing!  I mean personally, I’ve like loved people and I’ve like hated people and that has been like major life altering situations.  I have never been able to like put those moments into like words, but now I don’t have to because you did it like totally so much better than I could ever like imagine.

Lindsay: (Starts getting teary eyed) Yes, I would have to totally agree with Karen, Jennifer, and Mary.  I am so moved.  I’m sorry... it’s just so moving emotionally.

(Sherry digs in her bag and gives Lindsay some tissues)

Karen:  Did you take this tragic love story from a personal experience?  The poem starts so light and carefree but then turns dark and tragic.  I actually felt your pain.

Devon:  (Totally annoyed) ARE YOU GUYS SERIOUS? I hate to break this to you guys but I wrote this poem literally five minutes ago.  Haven’t you guys ever heard of constructive criticism?  I mean this poem needs work on so many different levels!  Can’t you guys find at least one thing that needs work?  I mean I can think of a million!

Sherry:  (Intrigued) Huh? Constructive criticism?  What’s that, it sounds exciting?

Devon:  Well, it is a method that we as students can use to help improve the quality of our writing.  It is comments or suggestions from you guys that I can use to help develop my piece.   It’s not insulting me or intentionally criticizing my work, but rather helping me improve my poem to become better.

Dr. White: Hmm... interesting concept.  Let’s try it.  Does anyone see room for improvement within Devon’s poem?

(A few seconds of silence pass because everyone is scared to seem negative)

Sherry:  (Very shy) Well, I guess, I mean, well... no offense but... I mean this isn’t bad, but the poem has a “roses are red, violets are blue” sort of feel.  Maybe you could find some better words to help capture the mood of why you loved this person so much and now why you hate them so much.  (Timidly)  I mean that is just a suggestion.  It wasn’t too rude was it?  I am so sorry.

Devon:  No, no, that’s great! I feel the same way. See you just helped me start the journey of improving my poem by that small suggestion.  See how easy and great this can be?   Anyone else?

Jennifer:  Well, what about the title?  Maybe something more vivid would capture the essence of the poem?  Let me think...

Daniel:  Well, what about the rhyming?  It seems too rhymed.  Sometimes in poetry you don’t necessarily have to rhyme to make it a poem.  When you do sometimes it seems like a hallmark card.

Dr. White: I agree with Daniel.  Well, this is something that I caught and thought I would bring up but what about the flow?  Something is just off there, anyone feel the same?

Mary: I like totally agree Dr. White!  Perhaps you could like adjust some things in like the very last line.  It seems choppy and like hard to read aloud.

Devon:  This is great!  Now I can re-work my poem into what it was meant to be.  See how being overly positive is super creepy and not always beneficial?

Dr. White: Well class this is great!  We have all learned something new today and now we can all apply this to our future writing.  Thanks Devon, and thanks to everyone.  See you next week.

Theme Sentence: Even though it is nice to hear positive comments about your work, it is not helpful to grow and learn without constructive criticism.  And another lesson learned is to be prepared for class.