LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Drama Submission 2005
(final version)
Daniel Davis
Kindergarten College
Characters
Micah: Sarcastic student
Sherry:
Bonnie:
Dr. White: Ex-Kindergarten teacher at the end of his mental rope.
Devon:
Tara:
Concept Sentence: A mentally unstable former kindergarten teacher struggles to find reality and sanity in the new environment of a university level Shakespeare course.
(First day of class – students wonder in finding familiar faces. Micah settles in with Bonnie and Sherry)
Micah: Has the teacher shown up yet?
Sherry: Nope, I’ve never heard of him before…have you guys?
Micah: no, he must be adjunct, or new.
Bonnie: (Struggling to swallow a bite of snickers) well from what I’ve heard, this guy just got his masters and has been teaching Kindergarten for the past twenty years. He apparently had some nervous breakdown and his shrink told him to teach college…I guess the kids broke him down.
Sherry: Where did you hear this?
Bonnie: Dr. Gorman told me, I think he’s mad that the university hired this “charity case”
Micah: Well Dr. Gorman is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic too, lest we forget.
Bonnie: Here he comes.
(Dr. White enters the classroom with dramatic excitement)
Dr. White: Is everyone ready to learn?!?
(silence)
Dr. White: Good morning class! My name is Dr. White, and welcome to this super fun class called Shakespeare and the….(looks down at roll) … dramatic styling of Victorian England. My! Those are some big words weren’t they class!
(dumbfounded silence)
Dr. White: (regrouping) Well everyone lets go around the room and introduce ourselves. I always do this for my classes, it helps to get rid of those first day jitters. So lets go around the room and say our first name. Then tell what kind of animal you would be if you could.
Micah: (to no on in particular) is this guy for real?
Bonnie: (dazed and amused) I told you.
Sherry: It's so sad its funny!
Dr. White: I’ll start My name is Mr. White and I would be a fuzzy koala bear!
(he looks to his left at Devon)
Devon: seriously?... OK, well my name is Devon and I …would be a cat…?
Dr. White: Cats are one of my all-time favorite animals! (Looking on to Tara)
Tara: (with obvious sarcastic enthusiasm) Hi! My name is Tara Orr and I would be a little fuzzy koala-eating dingo! (she rolls her eyes)
Dr. White: that sounds neat…(thrown off by the sarcasm)
Bonnie: My name is Bonnie and I would probably be some sort of infectious bacteria…
Dr. White: hmm…next?
Micah: (catching on) I’m Micah, and I think I would be a flesh eating virus, yeah.
Dr. White: Alright students, well I think we can finish this little game later on (visibly disturbed, some nervous twitching) Let’s talk about the first play we are going to read, Hamlet. Have any of you here heard of this guy Hamlet? (whole class nods) Well I have to say my favorite stuff he did was on the classic cartoon show called Tiny Toons, that tidy little pig always cracked me up! Gosh I had no idea Shakespeare wrote cartoons! He surely was ahead of his time wasn’t he class.
Micah: Um, I think you are a bit confused Dr. White, Hamlet is about a Prince from Denmark; it is about revenge and betrayal. The pig your thinking about is Hampton.
Bonnie: yeah, at the end of the play pretty much everyone ends up dead. Far stretch from Acme Acres.
Dr. White: well Micah, Bonnie, those are interesting ideas! I’m glad we’ve got so many great imaginations in the class!
Sherry: Have you read this play Dr. White?
Dr. White: Well I thought it would be exciting if we all read the play together, like a big story time! So everyone circle around and lets get started (he looks at the text and obviously doesn’t get it) (mutters under his breath) Find a happy place…(coming out of it)… Well goodness class, lets not be so hasty, work can wait just a little while, I think its time to play a game!
Micah: Dr. White, we’re in college, we have already finished high school, we are adults, this whole kindergarten thing isn’t going to work for us, some of us have kids of our own in kindergarten. So lets just be adults ok.
Dr. White: Wow, I think somebody’s being a grumpy Gus! Right class…(looks out with uncertainty) umm… What do you all say to a game of uh… Duck-Duck-Goose.
Tara: No, really. This is ridiculous; I didn’t come to college to talk about what kind of animal I would be, or to discuss the literary impact of Tiny Toons. This is Shakespeare, and if you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t be teaching in college.
Dr. White: Now class, you better behave, I don’t want to send any of you to the principal’s office.
Bonnie: Listen to yourself man! The principals office? This is a university, people don’t get sent to the principals office… people don’t get nap times, we don’t have story-telling circles, no recess, (Dr. White’s nervous twitch becomes more apparent and uncontrollable) no snacks, no arts and crafts. We are here to learn, and I’m not even sure you know how to read.
Dr. White: (to
himself) ….Find a happy place…find a
happy place…Dr. Smith told me I just need to find my happy place.
Sherry: I think he’s cracking up…
Bonnie: I think he needs to find his happy pills!
Dr. White: ALLRIGHT! (He loses it) That’s it! I have had to put up with turds like you for the past twenty years and I’ve had it! I am the teacher you are the student, I’m in charge, I’m the teacher….I’m in charge…I’m the teacher….AHHH! And all any of you little turds ever do is talk back, well I cant take it any more! “Don’t eat the glue Susie!” “Don’t stick that lego up your nose Sammy!” Nobody ever listens to me! (He breaks down and cries with his head on the desk.)
(the class watches with questioning silence)
Sherry: Oh come on Dr. White we were just playing with you…right guys?
Bonnie: oh yeah…just a big joke. We all love Duck-Duck-Goose… as a matter of fact, on most of my teacher evaluations, I comment on the horrible lack of games in this university…
Micah: yeah, you sure are a breath of fresh air Dr. White. Finally someone with some who knows their cartoons…
Dr. White: Oh you guys are just saying that…(looking up wiping tears and finding some hope)
Tara: (under her breath) Good lord! Are we really going to play along with this?
Devon: (nudges Tara) Do you want to be the one that pushes this guy over the edge?
Tara: allright…whatever (to Dr. White) No, No Dr. White, we mean it! We’ll play the games… we like the games…
Dr. White: Well, if you guys really want to…
Sherry: oh sure… that sounds great…
Dr. White:
(regaining his positive attitude) Well then class lets start by singing a song,
Head
Shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes, Everybody! head
shoulders knees and toes knees and toes.
Bonnie: (to Micah between verses) this is going to be a long semester.
Theme Sentence: Sometimes you have to meet people where they are, even if they’re decades behind you.
(original submission)
Daniel Davis
Kindergarten College
Characters
Micah: Sarcastic student
Sherry:
Bonnie:
Dr. White: Ex-Kindergarten teacher at the end of his mental rope.
Devon:
Tara:
Concept Sentence: A mentally unstable former kindergarten teacher struggles to find reality and sanity in the new environment of a university level Shakespeare course.
(First day of class – students wonder in finding familiar faces. Micah settles in with Bonnie and Sherry)
Micah: Has the teacher showed up yet?
Sherry: Nope, I’ve never heard of him before…have you guys?
Micah: no, he must be adjunct, or new.
Bonnie: (Struggling to swallow a bite of snickers) well from what I’ve heard, this guy just got his masters and has been teaching Kindergarten for the past twenty years. He apparently had some nervous breakdown and his shrink told him to teach college…I guess the kids broke him down.
Sherry: Where did you hear this?
Bonnie: Dr. Gorman told me, I think he’s mad that the university hired this “charity case”
Micah: Well Dr. Gorman is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic too, lest we forget.
Bonnie: Here he comes.
(Dr. White enters the classroom with dramatic excitement)
Dr. White: Is everyone ready to learn?!?
(silence)
Dr. White: Good morning class! My name is Dr. White, and welcome to this super fun class called Shakespeare and the….(looks down at roll) … dramatic styling of Victorian England. My! Those are some big words weren’t they class!
(dumbfounded silence)
Dr. White: (regrouping) Well everyone lets go around the room and introduce ourselves. I always do this for my classes, it helps to get rid of those first day jitters. So lets go around the room and say our first name. Then tell what kind of animal you would be if you could.
Micah: (to no on in particular) is this for real?
Bonnie: (dazed and amused) I told you.
Sherry: It's so sad its funny!
Dr. White: I’ll start My name is Mr. White and I would be a fuzzy koala bear!
(he looks to his left at Devon)
Devon: seriously?... OK, well my name is Devon and I …would be a cat…?
Dr. White: Cats are one of my all-time favorite animals! (Looking on to Tara)
Tara: (with obvious sarcastic enthusiasm) Hi! My name is Tara Orr and I would be a little fuzzy puppy dog! (she rolls her eyes)
Dr. White: that sounds neat…(thrown off by the sarcasm)
Bonnie: My name is Bonnie and I would probably be some sort of infectious bacteria…
Dr. White: hmm…next?
Micah: (catching on) I’m Micah, and I think I would be a flesh eating virus, yeah…a virus that eats flesh...
Dr. White: Alright students, well I think we can finish this little game later on (visibly disturbed, some nervous twitching) Let’s talk about the first play we are going to read, Hamlet. Have any of you here heard of this guy Hamlet? (whole class nods) Well I have to say my favorite stuff he did was on the classic cartoon show called Tiny Toons, that tidy little pig always cracked me up! Gosh I had no idea Shakespeare wrote cartoons! He surely was ahead of his time wasn’t he class.
Micah: Um, I think you are a bit confused Dr. White, Hamlet is about a Prince from Denmark; it is about revenge and betrayal.
Bonnie: yeah, at the end of the play pretty much everyone ends up dead. Far stretch from Acme Acres.
Dr. White: well Micah, Bonnie, those are interesting ideas! I’m glad we’ve got so many great imaginations in the class!
Sherry: Have you read this play Dr. White?
Dr. White: Well I thought it would be exciting if we all read the play together, like a big story time! So everyone circle around and lets get started (he looks at the text and obviously doesn’t get it) Well goodness class, lets not be so hasty, work can wait just a little while, I think its time to play a game!
Micah: Dr. White, we’re in college, we have already finished high school, we are adults, this whole kindergarten thing is going to work for us, some of us have kids of our own in kindergarten. So lets just be adults ok.
Dr. White: Wow, I think somebody’s being a grumpy Gus! Right class…(looks out with uncertainty) What do you all say to a game of Duck-Duck-Goose.
Tara: No, really. This is ridiculous; I didn’t come to college to talk about what kind of animal I would be, or to discuss the literary impact of Tiny Toons. This is Shakespeare, and if you can’t handle it, you shouldn’t be teaching in college.
Dr. White: Now class, you better behave, I don’t want to send any of you to the principal’s office.
Bonnie: Listen to yourself man! The principals office? This is a university, people don’t get sent to the principals office… people don’t get nap times, we don’t have story-telling circles, no recess, (Dr. White’s nervous twitch becomes more apparent and uncontrollable) no snacks, no arts and crafts. We are here to learn, and I’m not even sure you know how to read.
Dr. White: (to
himself) ….Find a happy place…find a
happy place…Dr. Smith told me I just need to find my happy place.
Sherry: I think he’s cracking up…
Bonnie: I think he needs to find his happy pills!
Dr. White: ALLRIGHT! (He loses it) That’s it! I have had to put up with turds like you for the past twenty years and I’ve had it! I am the teacher you are the student, I’m in charge, I’m the teacher….I’m in charge…I’m the teacher….AHHH! And all any of you little turds ever do is talk back, well I cant take it any more! “Don’t eat the glue Susie!” “Don’t stick that lego up your nose Sammy!” Nobody ever listens to me! (He breaks down and cries with his head on the desk.)
(the class watches with questioning silence)
Sherry: Oh come on Dr. White we were just playing with you…right guys?
Bonnie: oh yeah…just a big joke. We all love Duck-Duck-Goose… as a matter of fact, on most of my teacher evaluations, I comment on the horrible lack of games in this university…
Micah: yeah, you sure are a breath of fresh air Dr. White. Finally someone with some who knows their cartoons…
Dr. White: Oh you guys are just saying that…(looking up wiping tears and finding some hope)
Tara: (under her breath) Good lord!
Devon: (nudges Tara) Do you want to be the one that pushes this guy over the edge?
Tara: allright…whatever (to Dr. White) No, No Dr. White, we mean it! We’ll play the games… we like the games…
Dr. White: Well, if you guys really want to…
Sherry: oh sure… that sounds great…
Dr. White: (regaining his positive attitude) Well then class lets start by moving the desks and sitting in a circle on the floor. And I think Bonnie the “flesh eating virus” should start off being it…
Bonnie: (to Micah as she gets up) I am so dropping this class as soon as we get out.
Theme Sentence: Sometimes you have to meet people where they are, even if they’re decades behind you.