LITR 3731: Creative Writing

Reader: Robert Andresakis

Respondent: Robin Stone

9/8/03

Poem presented:

Color of Life

Life Green with experience bares

The red guild stain.

Burdened with wet knowledge tears

Running like rain.

Innocence does not know hurting-

Green with new life.

Purple from screaming and blurting

Loud cries of strife.

Hold the black burden of cold doubt

Inside the mind.

Inky darkness charges to route

And choke life blind!

We hold the guild of innocence

Eternally ever.

The black doubt forming a tempest-

Until severed.

Severed free from doubting turmoil-

White clouds a lot/

Pillows of gold lined clouds coil

Carelessly soft.

Release the black doubt and red guild-

Release your heart.

Flit and flu in the blue silk

Of cotton art.

And forgive the lines of the Past-

Remember flight.

Be free- a white life that will last-

Open once lost sight!

Robert S. Andresakis

Created: 8/18/2003

The poem is written in quatrains with the abab rhyme scheme putting it in ballad form with an 8,4,8,4 syllabic pattern.

The Questions brought up in the discussion were:

How do you know this is poetry? Robert referred to the Three Genres textbook in regards to this question. On page five are “five fundamental qualities that distinguish poetry from prose:

• Utilizing the line as the primary unit rather than the sentence
• A heightened use of images
• Greater attention to the sound of words
• Development of rhythm
• Creating density by implying far more than is stated directly”

A discussion took place of how this poem fits including a great deal on the density that Robert includes in his poem.

The next question was what does this poem mean to you? Robert pointed out that the reader’s evaluation is as valid as the writer’s.  Discussion took place that this was a living poem and the second stanza, representing birth, highlights this.

The colors were discussed and it was brought out that Innocence is an abstract idea but the phrase “purple from screaming” is a concrete image. Brandy brought up the suggested that in editing, Robert might think about bringing in the reader with one or more abstract ideas and less concrete images.

I am including the work I had prepared to discuss had I been able to be there:

The questions I planned to generate were:

1. To the class: Does your use of enjambment prevent a singsong effect in the rhyme scheme spoken of in the Genres book?

2. To the class: What sound devices stand out? I found several that I thought were interesting, such as alliteration, assonance, and consonance.

3. To Robert: The density of the poem is a strong point and artfully done. A great deal of communication is compact in "few-word" phrases. What do they say?

The other points of the poem I noted and was ready to discuss were:

I really enjoyed reading Robert’s poems. His imagery and word choice are very interesting and make me think. I like that.

The title threw me off at first because even though he spoke of different colors (green, red, black, etc.) the imagery provoked by the phrases you used caught me up and I did not focus on the colors. For example:

"Green with experience" was so interesting because most people associate green with a lack of experience. It was not until the second reading that I caught this play on words. I was so tickled I squealed and my kids thought I was nuts. :)

"wet knowledge tears" blew me away. This is the kind of phrase that scholars could debate on for centuries. It says so much and is so simple at the same time.

Robert’s use of words is clever, witty, and poignant at the same time. I saw so much in this poem that I could not settle on any one thing, but then all the things I saw started blending together and I realize that is the magic of this poem--that is what life is--this blending of all things.

I took the first verse as a form of birth and loss of innocence via that birth - and a sadness due to the loss.

2nd verse - infant stage where frustration sets in. (You can tell I have kids.)

3rd verse – Pre-teen years where rebellion sets in because of the doubt kids feel and do not know how to handle. It can choke the life out of a person--or at least feel that way.

4th verse - feels like growth to me. We hold to what we think innocence is and this hold builds until it is broken.

5th verse - I was lost on this one. The only thing I could think of is why the slash mark at the end of line 2? The verse also says to me the relief when we finally let go of the doubt--self-confidence.

6th verse - This verse speaks of growth to me also, but mature growth of adulthood when we realize what is important and can weed out the unimportant things of life. "Flit and flu" threw me off but I was enthralled by the last two lines and kept rereading them. They speak volumes, but I have not heard all they say yet.

7th verse - Ultimate maturity and growth creates success and life becomes full circle. Forgiveness of the past screams maturity and acceptance and growth. This verse also speaks to me of death and life after death. The "white life that will last" speaks of Salvation to me. The last line was interesting for me because it can be punctuated (read) many ways:

Open, once lost sight

Open once, lost sight

or even

Open, once lost, sight  

Depending on where the comma is changes the possible import of the phrase. I take it the last way. It stays with the Salvation feeling and I liked it.

Overall, the poem gave me a good feeling and it is a poem I would like to read and reread.