Respondent: Robert S. Andresakis

Reader: Brandie

Order of Questions:

Respondent reads

Open to class discussion

Unfortunately, most of what I had planned was changed in the second draft. Therefore, we discussed some of those changes and answered some of the questions that I had with the story in general.

Question A) In regards to the characters themselves, what is your take on the relationship between Melia vs. Ella and Mahta vs. Ella? Do you, or the class, think it would have been better if there where more descriptions associated to the characters. All we really know about Ella is that she is a large depressed woman. All we really know about Melia is that she is getting married and that she is blushing, blond and beautiful. What about a size comparison to exemplify the weight issue in the story? Maybe by describing how thin Melia is it will make Mahta seem that much larger and put emphasis on the theme of the story.

Discussion of abstract character development vs. concrete visual images: Should we as readers be left to put our own images in or should there be more to go on. An example of this could be found in the character Grandmamma. What does grandmamma look like?

Question B) see question 3

Question C) There are two major themes in this short story. These themes can be summed up with “Where did I go?” and “She who dances shakes the world?”. What does that latter statement mean?

Question D) A bit of a logistical question. The hand painting ceremony that was happing: Why was she being painted now- when she was getting married during the next day? Wouldn’t that ruin the paint?

Question 1) Looking at the beginning difference between Melia and Ella, we do not see a large difference. We know that Ella is overweight by the size 14 comment, but by the reactions of her sister, she is not much bigger than she is. The fact is we do not really know how big Melia is or how is she is compared to her sister. Do you think that if a few lines where added to create a larger difference between Ella and Melia that it would disrupt the flow of the story and do you think that a larger and more distinct gap in their weights would enhance the meaning of the story later on?

Question 2) You have three distinct transitions in this short story: Scene a) the store scene b) the street and scene c) the restaurant/home/meeting home. In all three of the scene changes, the transitions seem to me to be a little week and some cases slightly unbelievable. For example: Scene 1 to 2 has a simple transition of “…she bolted out the door.” I have a problem with this transition. In one action, we have changed scenes. However, is this action believable enough? Would a sister, despite psychological abuse from a wicked stepmother, drop the dress and run into the streets?

Part of the problem may be that we know nothing about Ella except that she is overweight and does not think highly of herself. We assume that she is an adult, but running out of a store in a situation where she is a dependent aspect is a bit irresponsible.

Question: 3) To the class: I am pretty much a visual reader. When I read, I form images in my mind that act out the fiction that I read. One of the reasons I like this short story is that the images are clear and distinct. And one reason for that is the lack of details. When Grandmamma is introduced she lacks real detail on her looks, but I can draw upon memories to fill in the gaps. We, as readers, know virtually nothing, about Ella except she is overweight and depressed, yet I am able to fill in the descriptions and put a face with the description. Yet, this does not mean that everyone can fill in the blanks with images of Egyptian grandmothers. So part of what I like may become part of what may not work. The characters of Mahta and Grandma are a representation of Middle Eastern culture, yet the culture is unknown. The beginning is a 3^rd person is in the view of Ella, but the middle and the ending seem to be 3^rd person view of narration. When the Middle East comments are mentioned, we are in the narrator mode. Should a little research be done to describe what Middle Eastern culture and what language they are speaking to better provide for the reader, or is the way that it is portrayed work?