Will Frith conflict
for color there
was a long line of people there
was a residual silence inside,
we all want the same thing—stability and comfort there
was a darkened look of concern inside,
we all want the same thing—peace of mind and conscience
draft of journal account: considering the suggestions i received from the class, and liz, i have switched the first and second stanzas as to build up (or down) from larger amounts of people to an individual. i still like the wording for the most part, and have considered advantages and disadvantages of changing much of them. i stuck with most of the original wording because of the potential for multiple readings/interpretations. as i have learned, considering the audience and their possible interpretations is a valuable tool for success in a poem (in moderation, of course). i changed a couple of phrases to complete the rhythm (we call it "phrasing" in the music business) and to make the phrases more concise. i hope i have done well. will.
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