LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Journal / Portfolio Sample Submission 2003
Corrie Lawrence
12-2-03
CREATIVE WRITING PORTFOLIO:
Tackling the Three Genres
This Creative Writing course has been both a liberating and didactic experience. The poetry, fiction, and drama that follow are the evidence of the unseen boundaries that were broken down for an inexperienced creative writer, as well as the result of a guided, discipline of art, invention, and cooperative revision. The goals of this class dealt with, what was for me, uncharted territory. Having rarely shared any creative work with an audience of any size, and having rarely even attempted creative work of this sort, I knew this class would be a personal challenge.
The works that follow, reveal a process of trial and error, writing, re-writing, and revision, revision, revision. While I can refer to what appear in this portfolio as my final product for this course, I have become keenly aware that none of these pieces are truly complete. They are simply an outgrowth of hours of reading, writing, class-workshop, peer-editing, and response to facilitator evaluation. Each piece can yet be further developed and refined, but for the purposes of sharing my work and putting into action what knowledge and discipline I have gained, my poetry, fiction, and drama follow in a somewhat finished version. I do hope to further develop my skills in each of the following genres, and hopefully, each of the respective pieces as well.
The first pieces in this portfolio are poems written for this class. The first is a free verse poem, my favorite of the two, and latter in composition. I have asked that it be posted first because I prefer it to the second, which is written in a fixed form. The fixed form poem has not, prior to the Journal submission, been posted to the web page for review. Thankfully, the opening genre of this class was the one most familiar and safe to me, but I have to admit to my anxiety in presenting an original poem in class.
The second submission, The Apology, is a short fictional story. This genre was new to me; I have never written fiction recreationally. I certainly had some qualms with this assignment; however, I learned a great deal in the writing and revision of this piece. Major revisions have been made to this piece since its last posting.
Third, and finally, is my dramatic scene, titled “Exit Lines.” This was the most enjoyable of all the genres to write. The unprecedented experimentation in comedy, as well as play writing was altogether entertaining in itself. I have also made some alterations to this piece based on class and instructor response.
In the documentation of the development of each piece written within the three genres, I think it becomes evident that certain approaches and skills acquired in the writing of one genre applied readily to other genres. I certainly found this to be the case, and the initial anxiety that I had about the course waned as I began to tackle the successive assignments. By the end of the course, I can honestly say that I was having fun.
On that note, I feel free to state my hope that evidence of creative growth can be traced through the more subdued submissions and into the less inhibited, later work. Whatever conclusions one draws from this portfolio of creative writing, I do hope that something of worth, something imitating life and resembling art, can herein be found.
Assignment 1:
Original Poetry
Development of Poetry
Poetry was, for me, the most accessible of the genres that we covered in this class. I have experimented with it on my own and written it for classes before, but only within very specific guidelines that did much of the shaping of the work for me. Given this little experience, it had been quite some time since I had sat down and written poetry that I intended to allow more than one or two people read. It was a challenge to have to produce quality poetry for a deadline – to purposefully discipline an act of creativity was an entirely new concept to me. (Actually, having read Death In Venice for the second time this semester, it was at least new in the sense of it being an act that a relatively sane individual might perform.)
I began this creative venture into poetry with the poem that is posted second, “A Spiritual.” In writing this piece I simply wrote what came to my mind first. As a result, the concept is an imitation of other poetry that I happen to enjoy, but does not seem at all original. Specifically, it was inspired by a particular piece that I read for a recent American Romanticism class; it happened to still be knocking around in my head. I remember really liking the rhythm this particular poem we read and wishing that I had volunteered to read it aloud in class, because the pace of the lines and the emotion really moved for me.
My own attempt at this style of repetitious poem was the first that I sent for peer review before presentation. Enrique Canales, my respondent had a fairly limited response to it. He stated that the structure worked well, and noted that I needed to make sure that my punctuation was consistent throughout. I imagine, though, that he felt similarly to how I did in that the poem was not fresh, or greatly provoking in any wide sense.
Unsatisfied with this poem, I finally took the advice that Stephen Minot offers in the class text and began a second poem from a concept that contained a more personal significance to me. I wrote about a matter of emotionally charged, familial import. At the time, I felt this to be a fairly risky endeavor, but lacking inspiration in anything else, I wrote about the heaviest recent indirect experience I had been exposed to. I was truly pleased to find at the end of the writing process how cathartic this choice was. I discovered many of my previously intense emotional reactions to a trying event were diffused.
While the second poem, “Sister’s Sinew (Jacob’s Thigh)” may seem vaguer in subject matter, it is by far more profound in emotional content and personal relevance. I attribute the vagueness of the poem to a desire to treat the event with a measure of distance, making it a little less personal in the writing, and out of an obligation to treat a family’s personal affairs with due respect.
I sent an early draft of the poem to both Jennifer Davis and Enrique Canales. Enrique, as my respondent, was more enthusiastic about this poem than the first – feeling that there was more meat, and more to work with. Jennifer, on the other hand said that the early draft was “beautiful, but very personal.” Some of the images I originally used were more explicit that those in later drafts. Based on her critique and on my own misgivings about being insensitive in dealing with personal issues, I muted some of these images - most specifically those dealing with birth and blood. In the first stanza of the poem, I only implied the presence of blood, but in the middle of the final stanza, I originally used the word “blood” as a point of contrast to the “rest” found in “Boughs of Comfort.”
While this vagueness allowed me to write with passion and inspiration about a tumultuous event, it was also one of the most criticized aspects of the poem during in-class presentation. The professor commented on this, and some students seemed to want more information as to the origins of the concept – (the sharing of original concepts seemed become a popular part of many presentations). Another suggestion that also came out of the in-class critique was that the poem required more continuity in imagery. I had actually switched sets of images around in various ways between five different experimental versions of the poem. In class, I presented a variation of the original poem where I had switched imagery of the “wolves” in the second stanza to vultures. Enrique brought this up, in class commenting that he preferred the image of the wolves. The class almost unanimously agreed. They also preferred starker contrasts such stains on a white gown, rather than on the “pale gown” I had chosen to use - I learned that changes like these communicated the ideas that I desired to convey more readily. Out of these multiple criticisms I tweaked a handful of things, which have resulted in the version of “Sister’s Sinew (Jacob’s Thigh)” that now appears on the web.
ASSIGNMENT 2: ORIGINAL FICTION SCENE
Development of Fiction
I truly struggled with formulating a concept for a fiction piece, and I actually experienced period of creative drought because I found the prospect of fiction writing moderately intimidating. I had not written a short story since the seventh grade before the composition of The Apology, but being forced to tackle this project has helped to plow through some self-constructed intellectual and creative barriers. I previously felt that I lacked ideas, experience, or wisdom enough to write an adequate fiction piece. I felt fairly comfortable working with other people’s facts or ideas, but was concerned that my own invention would not hold together. While the newly revised version is still far from structurally perfect, I feel that I have begun to conquer some of obstacles I originally encountered in this assignment.
This time around, while at the proverbial ‘drawing-board’, I did not make the mistake of trying to emulate another author’s work. After a period of mild anxiety and procrastination, an image for my fiction concept finally materialized. This concept was based on a familiar relationship and a fairly recent conversation. From these two points of personal reference, the concept then moved into the realm of invention.
The story began with characters based loosely on myself and my husband. I visualized these characters in a world much like my own, and accordingly I saw them in a setting and opening scenario also familiar to me (an airport sets the scene, and the problem of being locked out of a car opens the action). The greater scheme of the plot then arose out of a fairly recent conversation I had with someone about a missing persons flyer and my own thoughts about someday spotting one of those lost children. From this point on, the rest of the story takes place as a tango of realistic character interaction and invention. Later on, though, a bit of a true conversation about missing children actually becomes an episode in a flashback between the two main characters.
My original intent with this concept was to create an opening scene to a larger work – a mystery-like novella, or some such thing. However, about halfway through the piece, I realized that in order to accomplish the unified, structured opening that I wanted, I would have to write well beyond the allotted five or ten, pages. To solve this problem, I chose to change the goal of the piece. I would leave the question of the “missing child” unresolved, and bring the fiction piece to a close as a completed short story. Unfortunately this change in the goal midway through the writing process caused some problems with consistency in tone, which I hope to have by now resolved.
In the peer revision process, I obtained critiques from Laurie Eckhart, Robert Andresakis, and Jennifer Davis, all of which were helpful. I received several suggestions for remedying a few problem such as ineffective sentences (awkward sentence structure seems to be a common weakness in my writing), syntactical correction, and most notably some dialogue changes from Jennifer, many of which I took. In the realm of dialogue, I realized that there was little difference in the main characters’ speech patterns. With Jennifer’s help, I made Sam’s dialogue to sound more like Jennifer’s notion of Sam. I was very pleased with this change.
Despite the outcome of peer-revision, the most significant change to The Apology, has occurred more recently -well after the initial grading of the piece. The largest problem with the story was addressed by Dr. White, when he commented on the disunity of the tone. He noticed the problem of the unresolved tonal shift from light and comedic in the first half, to the tragic tone in the second half. Based on his advice to pull the two tones together by sprinkling both comedy and tragic conflict throughout the story, I reviewed the story with Dr. White, and used several of his suggested revisions.
ASSIGNMENT 3:
ORIGINAL DRAMA
Development of Dramatic Scene
As I am sure is the case with most of the students in this class, the drama was the easiest of the Creative Writing assignments to commence and execute. Minot is not false when he states that writing drama is not much of a departure from composing fiction. And having conquered my fears of fiction writing (though perhaps through trial-and-error), I was not so intimidated by this new endeavor.
I cannot accurately pinpoint a personal experience that served as a catalyst for the concept of “Exit Lines,” but I do know that the parameters of the assignment were very helpful for getting started. I was helpful to go into the assignment with an already defined setting and pool of characters.
I also have to give credit where it is due. As I began writing, I found myself inspired by a poetry reading I had attended the night before, where a professor read a poem satirizing his students’ behavior at final exam time. Out of this idea, I decided that I wanted Dr. White to be an overworked, disgruntled professor interacting with a classroom of trying students. It only seemed natural that a meltdown of some sort would ensue; the resulting dramatic scene was comedic with embedded themes. I actually wrote the concept sentence and theme sentence after I had finished writing the play. I managed to work a classroom nuance into the script by including a lesson from the text as part of the thematic content and punch line. I really cannot complain about any aspect of the drama writing process as the piece seemed almost to write itself.
The one aspect of the play that I did focus quite a bit on in the writing and revision stage was providing proper stage directions. Having never written a play before, I was unsure how to approach this, but I attempted to be brief, but descriptive at every point of action and expression. This served very well for the in-class presentation; the actors could not have done a much better job on initial reading. (I attribute this partly to clear stage direction, and largely to good readers/actors.)
Aside from a few minor technical errors, the only problematic point in the play that was brought up in class was the section of the play where Dr. White explodes at the class, assigning F’s to each of his students. In this sequence, he turns to the student named Will, who is also serving as his “Inner Voice,” and says “And a big fat F for you too Will!” I wrote this part of the play specifically to be humorous in the context of the classroom that it was to be performed in, but I recognize that for outside readers of the play, or if the scene were to be properly staged, this area would become an issue. I did not provide any stage direction or guidance for dealing with this in the text of the play.
Noticing this area a potential problem if the staging scenario should change, both Dr. White and some students expressed a desire to see some sort of adaptable option for dealing with the dual function of Will as the “Inner Voice of Dr. White” and Will as a student. (I don’t know that I ever intended for him to be a student – I was only aiming for funny moment the class might enjoy - but I suppose this is the appropriate place for a playwright to adapt to audience reaction.) As a result I have chosen what I found to be an unconventional, but humorous approach to the problem.
In imagining a properly staged play, I added to “Exit Lines” a bit of setting and stage direction to accommodate the audience. While the situation of Will as “Inner Voice” and “student” is inherently a bit complicated, the two were never really intended to be separated. Instead, I’ve combined the request for a more noticeable physical recognition of Will from Dr. White with some student requests for a modified treatment of Will in a change that was suggested by a fellow-student. What results is that Will is staged under Dr. White’s desk where he remains until the time of Dr. White’s outburst. When Dr. White angrily assigns Will a failing grade with the rest of the class, he pokes his head out from under the desk or table to ask, “What did I ever do?!?”
My hope is that this change accommodates the need for a more physically defined distinction of the shifting interaction between the characters, as well as the desire expressed by some for an Inner Voice that is heard, but not seen. I did not want to completely eliminate Will as the Inner Voice simply because I felt that it worked on some levels given the limited resources of this assignment, but I did desire to, at the very least, provide some latitude in dealing with the two ‘characters’ played by the one actor.
A Summary of
Progress
As I look back on the progress I have made during the semester, I feel more confidant than before in my ability as a writer. I know that I am no longer confined to the identity of the ‘essay-writing-college-student’ who happens to have a few unpolished poems in my back pocket. Though my work may still lack the luster of an experienced creative writer, I feel that the first step – which is most crucial in any learning process – has been taken. Now the creative boundaries I previously imagined myself to be confined to have come down, opening up to me a number of new genres of writing. I have also found myself more eager to share my work with family and friends; a great deal of the fear that previously existed is now diminished. I suppose that sometimes confidence only comes in the ‘doing.’
Given the limited amount of work there is to judge, I’m not sure as to which genre I am strongest in. I know that writing the drama seemed to be the least difficult of the three, and that during presentation, my scene seemed to be well received. I don’t know with confidence that this is something I could easily replicate, though, especially within the realm of comedy. In spite of this, I am interested in continuing to experiment in comedic playwriting as well as in the other types of plays that Minot outlines in Chapter 41 of The Three Genres. On this same topic, I ironically find my interest lying with the genre I received the lowest grade in. Perhaps it is the implied challenge to improve in that area, or the inventive appeal of fiction writing, but I find myself most attracted to the idea of short story writing.
It is possible that my attraction to the fiction genre springs from my personal enjoyment of reading short stories, and most of all, the novel. Of all we have attempted in class, I would desire most have the ability and discipline to author short stories and maybe eventually, a novel of my own. This genre, I feel, in the common sense, tends to have the widest popular audience, and in many cases (but certainly not all) has the potential for widest impact on modern audiences. Of course, I have a long path ahead, if The Apology is my first related work since the seventh grade, but authoring this one story is at the very least representative that the journey is underway.
From this and the other assignments, I feel that I have learned a great deal about each genre. There is something to be said for the learning process of creating written works; the learning (and improvement) comes only in the doing. And we did a lot of work in this class.
This said, I do not wish to discount the text for this course; it was extremely helpful as well. Reading the author’s instruction, analyzing published works, and then putting the acquired material into practice was an effective approach to learning various ins and outs of the genres. The most significant aspect of the creative process that I have come to grasp through this course is the need to begin with a solid concept. I am thoroughly enthused at the creative process that surrounds this, working to produce themes, nuances, and great many other qualities of the creative work. This is but one of many bits of knowledge that have made the creative process a more readily accessible method to me.
There is no doubt that the knowledge and experience acquired in this course will accompany me throughout the remainder of my career as student, and into my profession. I will continue to take classes that require creativity of thought and expression in my next (and final!) undergraduate semester, as well in my graduated studies. I also plan to teach English Literature; ideally I hope teach on the post-secondary level. Accordingly, being able to clearly identify and articulate the fundamentals of each of the three genres will be exceedingly important. I feel that I am better equipped for analytical reading of each of the three genres as well. Being able to construct works in each genre, lends itself to a more insightful comprehension of what qualities work together to make each what it is.
APPENDIX
Instructor Commentary, Peer-review, and other
Revisions
Instructor Commentary:
Dr.
White on “Sister’s Sinew (Jacob’s Thigh)”:
Much of "Sister's Sinew (Jacob's Thigh)" works wonderfully well. These best parts are somewhat mystical yet sensuous…The main problem… is that there are so many different types of imagery at work in the poem, that it's hard to coordinate them all, and I felt as though each time I was getting a surer sense of what to feel or think, that a new word from another conceptual framework would enter to make me have to seek my bearings anew… As before, the most difficult line remains "Fervent savor throne-ward rushing": the combination of odd diction and odder syntax …but this analysis could be turned to a compliment for the parts that work. In those parts it might be said you stretch the language felicitously.
Further Revision: Based on this critique, as well as in-class commentary, to further revise this piece I would attempt to modify my imagery with the goal of attaining some sort of extended metaphor that might lend a stronger sense of unity. One of the aspects I liked about the poem was the strangeness of diction – this poem was entirely experimental, but I would consider possibly modifying a few of the more difficult lines if it proved helpful.
Peer-Review of Fiction:
The following items are excerpts from a peer-editor and other commentary that I found helpful.
*Peer-Review
of The Apology–
this particular section of the text turned out to be problematic.
Jennifer was onto some of difficulties here, but I failed to fully
address them until a much later revision.
(Yellow
= Needs revision.
Blue = Good job.
Green = Other comments.)
I need a coat hanger!
Yes - Sam is great with a coat hanger. And he’s got airport I.D., so they
won’t tow my car if he’s here.
|
Just as she resolved her plan of action, a hideous yellow beast swerved uncomfortably close to her running car. Emitting a foul odor as it slowed, the yellow bus sang loudly in high-pitched squeals as it grinded to a halt. Large black dots covered the body of the bus. Like warts on a jaundiced witch, she knew her thoughts were influenced by the season. The outlandish paint job made sense when she recognized it from a nearby business, The Parking Spot. Could have just parked somewhere like that, she thought. The bus door folded open with the sound of grating metal, and passengers began to disembark, tugging their luggage behind. One face struck Jordan momentarily – a little dark-haired boy with wide, dark eyes, and a smooth milky complexion descended the large steps with a stretch as his father’s grasp firmly supported him. Somehow his face was welcoming, something familiar to be found there. He looked around, as though he didn’t like anything about being at the airport. You and me both kid. Airports and hospitals, they’re about the same.
She passed
through sets of sliding glass behind the
boy and his father and quickly headed towards Sam’s concourse.
After inquiring about Sam from of an overly-cheery
blond girl, she waited for Sam
who him to appeared through a the door that camouflaged
into the wall.
(*Peer-review by Jennifer Davis)
**Other peer-editors who I owe credit to in this
piece are Laurie Eckhart and Robert Andresakis.
Further
Revisions: I have
attempted further revisions in this section of the text as well as throughout
the majority of the body based on a hands-on revision session of this piece with
the course instructor. I hope to
have resolved some of the problems suggested here as well as the issues of tone
inconsistency.
Instructor
Commentary:
Dr.
White on The Apology
This
was a very interesting piece to read, but it raises
a problem that may not be resolvable…Specifically, the story seems
to have two parts, marked by two
different tones. The first part is
very impressively comic, with the bits about the car and the apple and the
sandwich-all good comic material. And the "monologue" running through
J's mind is funny enough, though one must also take it somewhat seriously…The
second part is also good but less certainly so, but the main problem, at least
potentially, is that the subject shifts so strongly toward what is something
possibly tragic. The
first part at this stage seems too innocent of the gravity of the second part…
suggestions…mix
the tones of the two parts more.
In the first part, preview the crises-at
least preview the problem with Sam. In
the second part you could at least refer to the comic potential in Jordan's
personality.
Possible
Revisions: Based
on this feedback I visited Dr. White during office hours to get more specific
suggestions for improvement. I hope
to have accomplished at least some of what was suggested here.
Sample Peer-Review of Other Students’ Work:
(Peer-Revision
of Injected Memories by
Giselle Hewitt)
1) ***Leafy hands sprawl against the sky winking and waving, as if to say, “Hello, Ma’am. How are you today?” With my hands propped behind my head, I stretched out on the grassy hill, and I smile and nod to acknowledge their existence. The snarled oak above me is fully blooming this time of year, but when the wind blows, I catch a glimpse of her hidden shape and remember what she is really like.*** à (poss present tense)…
Suggestion: In 1st paragraph *** possible present tense usage to help clarify the boundaries of time before flash back and memories.
2) …Someone must have sneaked up behind me though because I was awoken by the feeling of cold metal clashing across my back. Rubbing my eyes, I looked up to see a set of glowing eyes over me. “Get up, we have work to do.” …
Suggestion: “clashing” – I had a question regarding this word – just because of the sound it suggest (a metal on metal sound, I thought)…
3) Smearing the gray matter across Ami’s face, she looked at us with piercing pain. I wanted to cry, but I knew we weren’t supposed to.
Suggestion: “gray matter” – another interesting word choice – makes me think of brains…perhaps intentional. I tend to think that the restraint you use in this text might call for a less ‘dark’ description…. Maybe a ‘grime’ instead of matter…depends on what your aim is.
4)
My head, too heavy for my shoulders to bear, fell to sweaty palms as I
struggled to stand. And I began to
run.***
***Fuming
at anyone resembling me, I packed one large, black bag filled with tightly
rolled clothing and a few personals and took the first plane departing DFW
airport gate B-1.
Suggestion: Page 3, between paragraphs 3 & 4*** - here my brain was struggling for a little bit more info/understanding. A little bit more information/insight into the character’s thoughts – or some method of additional transition might be helpful here to join the second major part of the memory to the third part.