LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Journal / Portfolio Sample Submission 2003
Enrique Canales
Introduction.
The following portfolio will preview some of my work and my development as a writer. I had a great challenge ahead of me in this course since I do not have much experience as a writer. The first section of the journal deals with my experience with poetry. In it I review my poem titled “Experimental” and the experience of writing it. In it I experiment with different ways of doing poetry in one work, from the vague and cryptic, to the lame, the barely acceptable and the common rhyme. Poetry is an area I have much respect for and one I believe requires more preparation than any other to write. My experience with poetry wasn’t much different than that of most people. I used to believe that anything written about personal feelings or experiences could be rightly considered poetry. But in working on the development of a poem I have learned that isn’t true. Poetry requires the writer to be well versed in the formal forms of poetry and at the same time have a natural sensitivity for poetics. Now I’m more aware that in order to produce good poetry I will have to study much more about it. The piece presented here has undergone one last revision with my peer suggestions in mind.
The second section deals with my experience in writing fiction. Generally this is an area in which I feel more comfortable, but by no means greatly capable. I, like millions of others, j\have always had a natural interest in writing. When I was very young I loved writing little silly stories about things that happened to me. None of it was any good, but it was satisfying to write them nonetheless. Much like in poetry, one has no idea of how hard it is to write god fiction until trying. Originally I thought I could just sit down and churn out a story, after all a story is a story right? Well, no, actually the craft of writing is so vast that even after writing a lifetime it is impossible to fully explore it. Perhaps the most important aspect of my learning experience in writing fiction was learning to write for my reader. I tend to write to myself and forget that not everyone can read my mind. I explain less than I should in a work because I understand it in my head. But good fiction needs to be appealing and understandable to everyone not just me. My main concerns when I started writing for this course were improving my ability to structure plot and create believable characters. The piece I presented garnered negative criticism precisely because it did not manage to grab the reader and submerge him in the story. But careful planning and character reconfiguration allowed me to end up with a much better piece. The fiction piece was revised.
The third section deals with my experience in writing drama. I found writing it curiously enjoyable. Perhaps I found it so due to the fact that drama is written more like conversation than fiction or poetry. That fact makes writing drama more accessible than the other two. As I said, I found it refreshing and appealing to write. I wouldn’t say it was easier necessarily, but more natural. I didn’t think I would be able to write because it seemed so alien to me. The piece previewed here presented a particular challenge in that the subject was limited to the classroom. Finding a good story under such restraint was hard. And even after I chose a subject, it was hard to develop. I wrote a parody of another piece presented by the instructor. I thought it would simplify the work but in fact it made it more challenging, and rewarding.
The last section deals with my overall experience and growth as a writer. In it I describe my anxiety and my preoccupation with my usage of English. I’m still trying to expand my vocabulary and knowledge of the nuances of the language in order to be a credible writer. The groundwork laid on this course will provide me continually with insight in how to write. The journal tries to present my progress as a writer and the knowledge I acquired during this semester. The reader will have an opportunity to see me going from erroneous assumptions about poetry, my difficulties with character development and my ignorance of writing drama to a better understanding of poetry and its raft, the evolution of my characters into appealing individuals and my utter joy in writing drama. I hope you enjoy reading my experiences as much as I did writing them.
Account of Poem Development.
Poem was revised.
My poem here is titled “Experimental,” and it lives up to that name. I observed the different ideas people have on poetry and their styles. Never having written a love poem because I find them corny (that is unless the writer is very good), I chose to find a way to write one I would enjoy. But being the overly complicated person that I am, and the fact that I dislike love poems, I decided to make it “seem” like love poem but not be one. At the time, I was studying about poetry needing to be transcendent to be good in my Literary Theory class. So I decided I would take the most clichéd and overdone human anxiety (to go with the supremely overdone poetic theme of love), life itself. Humans are quite concerned about life, what it means and how to deal with it.
I wanted the reader to have at least some way to figure out that the poem wasn’t about love but about life. One of my respondents was left wondering if it was a love poem. I needed to make the intention more clear. My first step was to decide on the number of stanzas. Since the word life has four words I couldn’t make up my mind about whether to use four lines or four stanzas. It was the consensus of my peers and my wife that four stanzas just weren’t enough. Most of the people that read it thought that perhaps more stanzas would allow more freedom and time to develop the poem. So I decided to do one stanza for each letter of the word life, four. After that first clue, I decided to insert the word life vertically in each stanza. Now the reader could see the word life clearly in each stanza. I thought about using more clues but I figured that was enough. I then thought that humans generally undergo four phases in dealing with life. At a young age confusion and questions reign, then comes a state of infatuation with life when one is growing up at home and discovery occurs as well as all those firsts, thirdly, disappointment, the realization that life isn’t so easy and that humans experience much hurting in the process, and lastly, a quiet acceptance and compromise, an understanding that life is hard but worth it. Each period is explored in order in each stanza. A respondent thought that the first stanza worked great because it was mysterious and inviting. I also thought of emulating the development of the poet in the work by making each stanza slightly better than the last as far as poetic form is concerned. I was happy when the instructor told me that only the last stanza actually worked! I had meant for the first one to be vague and close to the “spontaneous overflow” concept. The second is till awkward and neither emotional nor poetic. The third one begins to have a vestige of rhyme and the last one finally manages to nail a decent rhyme (albeit an overused one). One response warned me about changing the rhyme scheme (or lack of thereof). This also satisfied me because people were noticing the evolving trend. Other general reactions had to do with more specific details. Some of the most important were about the arrangement of words in the second stanza and the use of obscure vocabulary. It was suggested that a comma was needed there after intoxicated and that perhaps the words in the third line could be arranged vertically, ala E.E. Cummings. Not a bad idea and one that I will use. On the third stanza the capitalized words were thought to be too much. The word “inclement” was thought to be visually deficient so it was replaced with “irrational.” Being limited to starting each line with a specific letter made it difficult when choosing words so I’m sure I have more work to do with it. I believe in the structure of the poem and will continue to develop more in the same way. I think it does well in imitating life stages and that the idea of slowly increasing its poetic quality worked and was noticed by all. I cannot add more stanzas as it would ruin the scheme so I will work on the same number. I do believe that the rhymes and structure could be better, as well as the vocabulary used more consistent. I do not see much future for this poem as it is too “experimental” to be considered for publication. I’d like to be able to have a better dominion of vocabulary as well as more ease with rhymes. Hopefully I can accomplish that.
Account of Fiction Development.
Fiction was revised
The idea for the fiction came from a paper I wrote in a basic writing class. The paper had to be controversial and spark argument. Knowing cloning is a hot topic I quickly chose it. I wrote about the possible benefits of cloning to human beings and how it would make finding organs for transplants simple. The opening line I wrote is the same I used on that essay. Unfortunately I got a bad grade on that work because she thought the essay sounded too much like creative writing and not like an essay. So when digging for a story for fiction I stumbled upon that essay. That first line was so good I just knew I had to develop it. The first paragraph turned out really well but then I made a big mistake. Instead of staying with the same style of first person, I decided to write the rest from many different perspectives.
The resulting work turned out too confusing and oversaturated with information. Science fiction pieces are complicated by nature. But upon presenting the manuscript in class I was told I had convoluted the plot by using too many perspectives. The first reactions to it were blank stares of confusion. People responded saying the story presented too much information for a short story. The professor suggested the story as written was fit for a novella instead of a short story. The fact that the piece is set in the distant future and different characters and corporations are introduced quickly made turned readers off. Student expressed concern about the lack of a central character. Naturally I like to write morally grey characters, but that didn’t sit well with my audience. Another problem was the sudden change of perspective form the prologue to the body of the work. I wasn’t sure I wanted to change the script so drastically everyone agreed it would be for the best. People reacted positively to the character in the introduction and said they would like to see more of that inner dialogue. Also, one student expressed her liking of the dry wit present in the introduction and concluded that it made that character attractive to the reader. But that type of humor disappeared later on. I now had two reasons to change the script back to the first person and to develop the dry humor of the protagonist. I was also told that characters needed to be introduced more carefully in order for people to follow the story better.
I believe the story is appealing and the characters strong. The use of morally grey characters makes them more human, although not necessarily more appealing. Perhaps the characters’ dubious morality is a weakness but I’m too fond of that style to change it. Instead, I decided to make the main character seem a little less grey, although not entirely. I would like to shape him to be more like Frankenstein at first, a misunderstood monster, and then reveal him to be more in control than everyone thinks. This way I give readers a good guy to follow and give myself the satisfaction of knowing him otherwise. I did do a massive re-write of it as a first person perspective piece. The story reads better and the characters are easier to follow. It still needs some work adjusting some details. One of them is making the support characters more memorable and easier to remember because currently it is hard to remember who’s who. I also need to clarify the ending a little more so people don’t end up confused about what happened exactly. I do want people to have to go back and read it again to really understand what happens in the end. But I do not wish to make it too hard either. For now I think the piece works well as a short story but perhaps it could be turned into a novella as the instructor suggested. I certainly have enough material to do so. I would like to refine it in order to publish it as I believe it is a good piece. I need to dust off my Asimov to end up with something better. I’d like to have a better grasp of how to develop characters and plot. I feel I’m still not very good at it and that my work would definitely benefit from it. Finally, I have to say that showing this piece was great because it opened up my eyes about the effectiveness of the story. I think sharing your fiction is much better than showing poetry as that tends to be more personal.
Account of Drama Development.
I had a hard time finding an idea for the drama piece. Well, I did know what I wanted to do, but the restriction of keeping the story in the classroom made it hard. For some people it is better to be told what to write but I find the constraint daunting. Mostly because one has to face possible preconceived ideas the professor may have and that makes me nervous. Fortunately, the professor provided a great cue for my piece. Upon presenting us with sample pieces that included al students I was able to get a hold of something. It happens to me often that I will read someone’s work and get a million ideas on how to develop it more or to create other stories based on it. Since the instructor’s piece that featured me was about a group of disgruntled students, I thought I’d parody his piece and turn it into a revolutionary comedy.
One of the first concerns I faced was whether I’d be able to make something original out of a pre-existing piece. My first critique was that the piece was too similar to the source and that it wasn’t providing the reader something new. The first draft was more an imitation of the source rather than an original piece. A good suggestion I received was to somehow transform the characters into something else, more distinctive. That is when I came up with making the players clichéd revolutionary archetypes. I looked at each character and found suitable types for each. The instructor was considered kind of mean on the source material so I made him a supposed tyrant. But in following with my style of making my favorite characters morally grey, I made that character to be unaware of his supposed evildoing. Not to say that he wouldn’t be a tyrant, but only that it would be up to the reader in the end to decide if he was indeed one or not. Given that I’m not naturally inclined to comedy I had to come up with a way to compensate for my lack of subtlety. Using common comedy styles of exaggerated characters and implausible plot devices I managed to create a sense of lunacy that made the piece funny. A respondent let me know that if I had no natural talent for comedy I would have to use visual gags and other grandiose devices to produce laughter. It was also suggested that in a piece that depends so heavily on visual aids, I would have to create lengthy stage directions. I took it as a challenge in using careful and specific directing. The instructor commented that most of the best pieces of drama are actually scarce with direction and that that aspect makes drama timeless. Nevertheless, I decided to stay with the specific directions. In the, end everyone enjoyed the exaggeration of the source characters and the visual aspect was said to be pleasant.
I believe it is a solid parody of the source. It also portrays appealing characters and simple fun. Unfortunately, given that the source material is only known to my classmates and me, I doubt the script has much of a future. It will remain as a good exercise in plot, stage direction and parody. Publication is out of the question, but at least my interest in writing drama has risen. I hope I can better myself in this area as it is one said to be filled with opportunities. The instructor spoke about the importance of writing script for aspiring writers as it is one of the few areas were there is work available. I hope to attain a better dominion of the genre as I’m currently too focused on fiction. Perhaps in the future I can write consistently good drama and get work doing it.
Summary.
When I started this course I thought I knew more about writing than I really did. I assumed that writing didn’t entail much more than just sitting down and churning out ideas. But three month later I realized how wrong I was. Writing requires that the aspiring writer be aware of the past and watchful of the future. A good writer needs to be familiarized with the writers of the past and make an effort to learn about why they have transcended and are considered good. In my case it is a double effort since I have to learn about authors that perhaps most people here already know about but who are new to me. It is then necessary to remain aware of the future of writing and what can be done in it. Not everyone who aspires to write manages to succeed. Without a doubt the single most important moment of my learning was hearing from our two guests, published authors both, who shared their experience as writers. I expected them to come and tell us about their great capacity to quickly churn out masterpieces. But what I found instead were a couple of anxious people stressing about their work as much as I did. These people weren’t some sort of geniuses capable of writing without an effort. On the contrary, they experienced the same problems we all do as aspiring writers. Learning that is significant because it proved that writing, like everything else, requires hard work and dedication. No matter how good someone can write naturally, in the end it is the devotion to the craft that makes us good writers.
I first learned that poetry was the Wordsworth’s spontaneous overflow of emotion. I learned back in community college in a poetry class. The idea stuck to me and all of the poetry I wrote was based on that. I would wait for a feeling to “hit” me and I would put it on paper. Some good stuff emerged from that but none of it was particularly scholarly. Later I discovered that poetry was much more than simple emotions when I entered upper level classes. It seems tom me that the idea of spontaneous creation pf poetry is a bit conceited. I began to understand that poetry is hard work and the best of it takes a while to write. It is argued now by many critics that good poetry must pay respect to the so called “tradition.” I wouldn’t go as far as to believe that only the works which closely capture the greatness of the classics is the only worthy poetry. In fact, I believe that the best scenario is a compromise of a creative surge and good knowledge of poetic form.
I wouldn’t have considered myself a writer until after this class. Only after being in a room with others like me was I able to feel like I can be a writer too. Everyone in that classroom shared my experience and that made me want to keep writing. When I entered this class I expected to learn how to write a good novel. But now I feel like I need to take small steps and learn each area of writing before attempting to go for something big. I have decided to start writing shirt stories as a way to keep exercising plot and character development. I will concentrate on turning all my ideas into shirt stories and hope that with enough practice I can learn to put together a bigger work. I will also like to keep experimenting with drama. As I found it extremely enjoyable and I’m sure I can be good at it. The only problem is that I don’t naturally get ideas for drama as I do for fiction. I will begin to experiment turning my fiction into drama.
I feel that my strongest genre is fiction but I also found drama pleasant to write. I do not think I can do drama as easily, as I said, most of the ideas I get do not seem to transfer well into drama. Nevertheless I feel confident I can turn out good drama pieces as long as I can find a good story to write them on. I had a hard time doing the e-mail exchanges. I said earlier how I thought that having peer reviews was great. My problem is making myself to allow other to read my work. I can attest to the effectiveness and benefits of allowing others into your world, it definitely improves it, but is hard to open up. Even after seeing the benefits of peer review I still had a very hard time sending my work to others and therefore kept my exchanges to the necessary minimum. I enjoyed reviewing other people work because it seemed to spark my own creative juices. But I often felt like I was reading someone’s private diary.
I plan to continue writing but I will focus more on teaching. My plan is fairly simple, become a college professor and try some writing on the side. I do not delude myself with ideas of being a great writer or selling my books for a living. I’m aware that writing for a living isn’t entirely feasible so I will restrain from pursuing it full time. I will begin by writing a collection of short stories framed in the life of two young boys and their experiences growing up. Although most of what I write will have a particularly ethnic flavor, I will attempt to write stories that address more general experiences. In the case of the project on short stories, the boys grow up in my home town in Mexico but their adventures and experiences will be common to most children. I will explore them silly myths we believe when young, the importance we place on unimportant things, such as the best flavor of gum and use that as a frame to present apparently unrelated short stories that ultimately bring meaning to the whole. I will make an effort to take the classroom experience of peer review and try to join a local writers club.
Appendix
Email exchanges:
With poetry with Jennifer.
Enrique,
there are a few times when the poem seems awkward. Of course, I am not an
expert, so I don’t know how much I will be of help to you. But, here goes.
Experimental.
Landed. on a whirlwind.
of...enigma?
Inside, thoughts bloom from abstraction
Falling around me like, like...hungry...leaves! (1)instead
of 2 “like” maybe it can be “hungry…hungry…leaves!”)
Entangling me with wonder.
Launched into your passion,
Intoxicatedhardlybreathing- (1)comma
(,) after intoxicated??? I naturally take a breath here.)
Fallinglettinggoscreaming (1)maybe
try another technique than squeezing the words together. Can the words “fall?”)
Expiring-in-your-arms.
laid low, ravaged by your sight, (1)laid low??? Can another visual
be put here instead?)
INFUSED WITH ANGER DESOLATE.
felled sure, ravaged by your might, (1)“felled”???
2)Be
careful, l.1 & l.2 rhyme, but I don’t see these anywhere else.)
Entrapped for you to immolate. (1)immolate???
The poem has mostly simple wording but this word is uncommon.)
Lead into a dessert of
idyll, (1)”dessert”
or “desert”?)
Inclement with jaws that tear. (1)I
don’t know the orig. intent, but could you use a more visual word for
“inclement”?)
Forged a soul in fire of contrition, (1)If
you want to leave immolate in 3rd stanza, then I would also leave
contrition.
2)But if you focus on
simplifying the poem, I would change both of these words/lines for something
more concrete.)
Embraced your thorny stem with care. I
love this line. Good strong finish!!!
since it's untitled & I don't know the subject
that you are writing about (love???)
then it's hard to say if the poem contains the message/images
you are wanting to convey.
However, I think that so far it is both beautiful and mysterious.
I am anxious to see your finished product & title.
Jennifer
Fiction:
With Corrie on fiction.
Hey, liked your intro.
My comments are attached to the draft of your story, and are just below
where your text ends. All the best in your reading. See you in class.
Thnks for your intital
comments. The dry wit gives way to a more developed tale later on.
I tried not to abuse it in hopes that it would make the reading easier.
But I try to work it in as much as possible.
Corrie