LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Student Drama Submission 2003

Jason Honeycutt

Rise of the Kings

Characters:
Dr. WHITE
LAURIE
JASON
DAVID
ENRIQUE

Concept

            A group of students addresses the facets of totalitarian monarchy by charging heroically beyond good taste and sanity.

Theme

            People are not stupid; they see through politicians and are generally unimpressed by ridiculous claims to authority.

Scene

Class is seated and waiting for Dr. White to begin.  Dr. White enters and begins writing on the chalkboard: “Schedule updates, drama submissions, coronation announcement, quiz”…

LAURIE: Dr. White, does that say “coronation announcement”?

WHITE: Yes.  We’ll get to that later, after the schedule changes and submissions.

JASON: Whose coronation?

WHITE: (Ignoring Jason) Go ahead and take out your presentation schedules, I’ve made some changes.

DAVID: Does that mean coronation, as in a king?

WHITE: I see we’re not going to get past this.  I was hoping for a more formal atmosphere.  All these questions are ruining the reverence.

JASON: Reverence?  Reverence for what?

WHITE: Okay, okay.  Everybody just relax.  Right, here it is: I, Craig White, PhD, am hereby declaring my sovereign and irrefutable rule as king.

DAVID: Did he say king?

JASON: He said king.

ENRIQUE:  (confused) Professor, where did this come from?

WHITE: (Walks over to the window, staring outside strikes a majestic pose) Last night, I, lost in slumber as the clock struck twelve, was visited by the spectral incarnation of Karen  Barnes…

LAURIE: Who?

DAVID: That girl who never comes to class.

WHITE: Uhum!  Excuse me.  I was giving a soliloquy.  As I was saying, the ghost hovered above my bed and spoke, “Craig, Dr. White, thou art king!”…To make a long story short, I am your new king.

JASON: King until 12:50, or king forever?

WHITE: Forever!  And please, call me “Highness”.

DAVID: (Under his breath) “Highness” is right.

LAURIE: I don’t like where this is going.

JASON: Suppose I say a ghost told me I was king?

DAVID: Oh, here we go.

WHITE: Don’t be ridiculous, peasant.  You’re too short to be king.

JASON: (Climbing onto a chair) What if I stand on this chair?

ENRIQUE: This is incredible.

LAURIE: This went flying past incredible straight into lunacy.  (Shaking her head) Isn’t this great?

WHITE: How can you rule a kingdom from a chair?  You’ve got to have feet, like me, for which to walk around.

JASON: Then I’ll get a chair…with wheels!

DAVID: I’m never coming to this class again.

WHITE: People will know you’re just rolling around on a chair.  Who would respect a king like  that?

JASON: I’ll wear a long dress.  People will think I’m gliding.

ENRIQUE: We need a compromise.  One of you will have to be queen.

WHITE: Not me (folding his arms)!  I’m older.

JASON: I’m taller!

WHITE: Only because you’re standing on that chair!

LAURIE: Throne.  If he’s a king it’s called a throne.

WHITE: (To Laurie) Are you on his side?

LAURIE: (Nodding toward Jason, speaking to Enrique) I like the idea of king I can beat up.

WHITE: Who wants a king that buys his clothes from the kid’s department?

DAVID: Why are we even having this discussion?

WHITE: The fate of the world is being decided.

ENRIQUE: I doubt that.

LAURIE: Maybe we should vote on it.

ENRIQUE: Vote?  For a king?  You people have been in America way too long.

WHITE: No, no, no…I have divine right; the ghost…

JASON: A lost student is hardly the Lady of the Lake.

LAURIE: So, we have to choose between a hallucinating delusional king or a king that rules from a rolling office chair and wears a dress?

DAVID: The lesser of two evils?

ENRIQUE: The lesser of two lunatics.

DAVID: I’m leaving.

ENRIQUE: I’m leaving, too.

LAURIE: We’re all leaving.

Entire class exits

WHITE: Well, I guess I’m king.

JASON: I guess I’m king.

WHITE: We’ll have to form a royal alliance.

JASON: Congratulations, Your Highness.

WHITE: Thank you, Your Highness.    

CURTAIN