LITR 3731: Creative Writing
Sample Student Email Draft Exchanges

[initial message from Christine Levige emailed to two other students and copied to instructor]

Hi Everyone,
 
I just wanted to see if my poem is okay and what you think about it.  So please e-mail me any comments or questions you might have regarding this particular poem.  Because to tell you the truth I don't think that my format is right at all.  Oh and you can forward it to other classmates if you like I just only have these e-mail addresses.  Thank you in advance.
 
Christine Marie Levige 

[poem attached here in email--see bottom of page for copy]

[email reply from LaQuita Rhone]

I think it might be great to use more descriptive language to help the reader to really feel the confusion and anxiety that I feel is evident in the first 4-5 stanzas.

I also think it might be useful to group the stanzas in sort of a trimester-like sequence so that the reader goes through the impending birth process or the different stages of pregnancy.

And finally, more imagery and stronger language associations to the concept of being "pregnant" with child, ideas, ambition, etc.

I hope this makes sense. These were just a couple of ideas that I thought about while reading this piece. Please let me know if I can be more specific or explain any of this better. Hopefully I can : )

La Quita

[poet responds to critic via email]

Hi La Quita,
 
Thanks for your input I was kind of wondering if I had structured the poem the correct way.  I understand what you are talking about I am just having a hard time trying to coordinating my imagery.  But thanks for your suggestions.
 
Christine
[input from second student]

What impresses me most about your poem is how you capture the emotions of women during pregnancy.  I also loved how you manage to end the poem with the name of a person.  Personally, I think your poem is beautiful.

 
See you tomorrow,
Dominique Corpus 

 

 

 

[first draft of poem on exchange]

My Blessing of a Surprise

Christine Marie Levige

 

As I pace the floor

Late at night

Not knowing what was me.

 

Could this be LOVE?

Could I be ILL?

Lord give me a sign

To help me understand

The way I feel.

 

Three months have gone by

I stand and I cry.

Lord could this be true?

Could this be real?

 

So caught off guard

And to my surprise,

I have a little life growing inside.

 

Maybe this is a bad dream,

for this can't be reality.

For I know this can't be happening to me.

 

So confused and now stressed out,

I know I am going to be ILL without a doubt.

What shall I do?

What shall I say?

I know this is the day

I must fall down and pray.

 

Instead of things getting better

I feel they gotten worse.

What is this?

Could this be?

 

The day has come

where it is hard

to see my feet

and all I want to do is eat.

 

Now the day has come

For you to enter the world.

Am I ready?

I don't know what to say,

but I thank God

for blessing us each and every day.

 

You are almost a year

And so full of joy

I have to thank God

for opening my eyes.

For you Mar' Kayia are

"My Blessing of a Surprise"

 

10 September 2003

 

copy of final draft of poem for poetry submission