Anari Oliver April 5, 2018
Borders and Ambivalence
In our American Minority Literature
course, we’ve discussed two different minority groups thus far. We started out
with the Sioux, tribal laws, and “wiindigoo” spirits pertaining to the American
Indians. Now, we’ve shifted over to the idea of ambivalence and dividing borders
seen in Mexican American culture. I have had the opportunity to learn so much
more about the Mexican culture, in terms of their language, their customs, and
the obstacles they face in order to survive.
While reading through a number of
previous model assignments, the first one that stood out to me was Santos Ann
Hinojosa’s Tradition and Heritage or Assimilation essay. Hinojosa stated that: “Mexican
Americans unlike other minority groups struggle with their ambivalence to either
embrace their Mexican American traditions and heritage or to set those
traditions aside and fully assimilate in the dominant culture.” This particular
excerpt interested me because I never realized how true it was until we touched
on it in class. Although Mexican Americans are minorities, some don’t consider
them to be “true” minorities because of immigration (and the opinions that many
have about it). My godparents, who raised me for a portion of my childhood were
Mexican (born and raised). They came to the states in hopes of a better life for
their children. I remember some of the stories that my godfather would tell me
about the way people would stare and the treatment he and his family would
receive. He did eventually gain his citizenship, but he passed away at the age
of eighty-five with somewhat of a chip on his shoulder. The feeling of really
belonging here always bothered him. He died feeling as if he never really fit in
with the dominant culture despite how hard he worked at it. I now know that this
idea of an “ambivalent minority” really does exist.
The next essay that caught my eye was The Border Culture written by Kimberly
Loza. In her essay she goes into detail about her own culture and background.
She states the following: “The border culture shows that not only Mexican
Americans should be considered as an immigrant but, as a minority as well. I
have always heard the saying that “we did not cross the border. the border
crossed us.” This is very true for my family because we can trace our lineage
all the way back to the Alamo in which my seven times great great grandfather
Gregorio Esparza defended the Alamo. We were here before there was even Texas
and this land was a part of Mexico.” I chose this essay because it reinforces
the theme of ambivalence that many Mexican Americans face. I believe the
emphasis that the dominant culture puts on the border and border control only
forces Mexican people to feel even more ambivalent towards their identity. The
land that we live on today (especially Texas) was once Mexico at one point in
time. So technically, this would be land that belongs to them historically.
Sadly, this bit of information is often overlooked and even neglected from
modern day textbooks and classrooms. However, we see how the media perpetrates a
negative attitude towards the border between Mexico and the United States
(especially in Texas).
Continuing with the theme of ambivalence and mixed feelings, Excerpts by Erin
Chambers touches on the topic. Chambers reflects on a character by the name of
Tony from Bless Me, Ultima. Erin mentions how Tony experienced ambivalence when
he went to school where both his teacher and classmates spoke in English. This
was a bit unfamiliar to Tony because he was accustomed to speaking in Spanish at
home with his family. I chose this particular excerpt because it provides a
clear example of mixed feelings and mixed identity that comes along with
straddling the fence between minority and immigrant. From Chambers’ model
assignment, I learned that even the smallest instances such as sitting in a
classroom, can stir up various emotions. These emotions can often alter someone
for a lifetime. From each model assignment, I was able to take away many valuable lessons. We’ve previously discussed this struggle that Mexican Americans deal with because of their ambivalent identity. However, each essay and a recollection of my own childhood made me better comprehend the challenges that Mexican Americans deal with because of their “outsider” minority position. I also learned that the idea of the border culture continues to create this feeling of ambivalence. Unfortunately, I believe that this particular feeling will be one that many Mexican Americans will continue to face forever.
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