LITR 3731: Creative Writing 2008
Student Poetry Submission

Kristin Howard 

Itinerary
 
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.
it's time to wake up again.
I hit the snooze too many times,
the morning’s not my friend.
 
Speed up, slow down—STOP!
Always the same ol’ trend.
All this freakin’ construction,
will this madness ever end?
 
Bolts, nuts, screws-
I sell them many, I sell them well.
Working hard to pay the bills,
mediocrity with no frills.
 
Speed up, slow down—STOP!
I've got to get to school.
Only forty-two miles to go,
but I’m running low on fuel.
 
Honk! Honk! Honk!
there must be a wreck ahead.
I should just turn around
pretend I'm sick, and go back to bed.
 
Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!
what a lazy ‘tude!
Surely my professor will understand,
being an hour late is totally rude.
 
Ready! Set! Go!
no traffic now, it’s 10PM.
Grab some food, call my friends,
still forty-two miles to tie up lose ends.
 
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Shower’s done, kick up my feet.
Walk my pug, kiss my boyfriend goodnight,
set the alarm and turn out the light…
 
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.

Revision Account

How did your poem or fiction piece originate? How did you come up with the idea? Did the work pre-exist in the class, or did you write it this semester?

The idea for my poem originated while I was sitting in traffic one afternoon.  Once the idea came to mind, every time I was in traffic I would think about other things I could add.  I kept a few note cards in my visor incase an idea came to mind and I needed to write it down.  The theme “itinerary” was easy for me to develop and it really mirrors my daily routine.  The “buzz, buzz, buzz” at the beginning and end of the poem are my favorite lines because I really dread that sound in the morning and it gives me reoccurring triple “phrases” throughout the piece.  I wrote this poem this semester; however, I plan on revising it and possible adding to it later on.

Whether you presented the poem in class or did a draft exchange, what kind of response did you receive and what did you learn? 

The class seemed to have a general overall approval of the poem.  I think the workshop went really well and almost everyone had ideas and recommendations.  I had a lot of different options as I read over the notes the class submitted.  The suggestions were all focused at the same areas throughout the poem and gave grammar, vocabulary, and consistency tips.  I learned a lot about the many ways that one piece can be interpreted and how different words can change the meaning of certain phrases.  I also thought it was interesting how simply changing the punctuation can transform a line that is ordinary to extraordinary. (i.e.: exclamation marks instead of commas, …’s instead of a period)  I also learned that it was very helpful for peers review my work.  I was somewhat nervous at first but in the end I was very excited about the feedback.  This has opened a new door to my editing and revision processes for future work.

What kind of changes or revisions did you make as a result of these reactions?

As you can see in the table above, I made a lot of small revisions with the help of the workshop (highlighted in yellow).  Although, I didn’t use all of the suggestions that were submitted, I was very impressed with some of the changes.  I played with the words for a while interchanging them to see what flowed the best.

What is your opinion of the current status of your manuscript (following revision)?  What are the strengths?  What further development does it need?  Is it part of a larger work?

I am pretty happy with my manuscript, although I plan to continue working on it.  The strengths can include the comedy aspect and the word usage that ultimately gives it an authentic “voice.”  I think that the poem could use some development in helping the “flow.”  This is not a part of a larger work and I feel that it works best that way. 

Future developments: Possible publication? Additions or research required?  What would you like to be able to accomplish for this manuscript that you can’t quite do yet?

Some one suggested submitting my poem to the campus newspaper but I haven’t really thought too much about it.  I don’t think it’s really publication quality as of yet.  I would like to make this poem a more detailed account of my day instead of just a brief overview.  I would like to add a couple of stanzas to include a sirens and flashing lights and maybe something to tie in the job a little better because it seems to be isolated.  I even thought about a stanza that would include that talks about how I get poorer at every stoplight (donating to charity, feeding the homeless, getting my windows washed, buying Girl Scout cookies).  I am really going to have to work hard to incorporate this somehow but I think it will work.